5% CELERY

January = Fashion In Flux

2008-01-07T14:31:00.001-08:00

I'm finding it very odd that, despite January being the moment of highest self-awareness among everyone thinking about new resolutions, new looks, new gym memberships, etc., it is the moment of ZERO fashion excitement. Seriously, though it may be pouring buckets here in L.A., there is a serious drought of fashion fabulosity up in this piece.

Borrrr-ring.

In retail, January is the last month of the fiscal year. Therefore, stores mainly spend it trying their hardest to clear their shelves of stuff and raise their yearly sales numbers as much as possible. This year, retail has taken an especially hard hit, so we're seeing sales of not just 30% or 50%, but 70% off--even at established, always-profitable giants like Banana Republic. (Is anyone else sick to death of their emails? Jesus H, enough already.) They're not going to give us a drop of new merch until February; if we want to spend our Christmas cash, they want us to buy up as many clearance cashmere V-necks as possible.
And in magazines, though this phenomenon is irrelevant, I'm still feeling bored. We already started seeing Spring '08 styles on November and December runways and fashion spreads, so January issues with yet more spring florals are kinda been-there-done-that. Why can't we be supplied with gorgeous, revolutionary fashion inspirations at the same time we're all remaking ourselves (or trying) and looking for new magic in the still-unspoiled first weeks of 2008?
The solution, I think, would be to hold off on the Spring fashion spreads until January. I know the runway shows are earlier, so that kind of spoils things, but I still think that I'd like to save the shoots for later. I adore seeing Vogue's creative, frame-worthy interpretations of the runway looks, and they're really an entirely different animal than Style.com's straight runway slideshows. What if we had a month or two to digest the latest slew of looks (or to ignore them, if you're not among the more fashion-addicted) before seeing the resulting magazine eye candy as a reward for making it through New Year's, and as inspiring fuel for our renewed zeal for personal adornment?
Sure, industry folk don't want to waste time and advertising on spent-out shoppers with no spare change left after the holidays. But shouldn't they realize that the best medicine for those wallet-clutchers is a kick of new goods to convince them to open their purses yet again?
Pipe dreams, I'm sure. Until fashion news gets more captivating, I'll keep busy with those 70% off sales :)

> r r <

5C%'s '08 Resolutions

2008-01-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you all have your own New Year's resolutions. Apparently the most common ones involve food and not eating it; money and not spending it; and time and not wasting it. However, clearly these are neglecting a vital element of our lives: UM HELLO FASHION ETC?!?

So RR has taken it upon herself to supply you with a handy printable list of Fashion & Lifestyle Resolutions (inspired, naturally, by her SoCal surroundings):

1. I will not wear Uggs/Cruggs/related plastic or fur shoes.
2. I will not bleach my hair to try to look younger.
3. I will not wear skinny jeans if I am a curvy lady. They may be hip, but overemphasized hips are not hip. Capiche?
4. I will not discuss my latest name-brand purchases loudly. This is totally lame. No one is impressed. It just makes you look like a sad attention whore.
5. I will not use the term "skinny bitch," since it just pins the sayer as being jealous and mean.
6. I will remember that mascara is meant to enhance my eyelashes, not weigh them down and make them look like tarantula legs.
7. I will remember that food is delicious, and that living on Diet Coke and Gummi Bears is not something to do, never mind to brag about.
8. I will also remember that trendy food is probably ridiculous, and that anything that seems remarkably expensive for its weight (see Gogi berries, Kombucha) is probably just meant for those who believe that throwing more money at one's health will compensate for drinking a lot.
9. I will not carry both a Sidekick and a cell phone. That is just dumb.
10. I will not wear leggings with shirts that are short enough to show my Lycra-clad butt, no matter how many Cardio Stripping classes I've taken.
11. I will try to remember a world before the Spears sisters.
12. I will not stop wearing/reading/listening to things that are genuinely cool just because they've gotten "too popular." I'm very guilty of this one, and it's just silly. Granted, the general public has historically terrible taste, but every once in awhile they get it right. Don't deprive yourself of The Beatles/chunky knit scarves/flat boots/Jonathan Safran Foer just because you can get them on Main St.

Happy 2008, kids!

> r r <

More Hatin' On Crocs

2007-12-24T00:53:00.000-08:00

A website called "Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion" has this as its #1 tip:

Crocs look like shit and they make your feet smell.

When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship. They come in every color imaginable yet look bad with every other article of clothing ever created. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism.

To their credit though, Crocs serve as an excellent idiot barometer; you can tell a lot about people wearing them. For example, Amazon.com suggest products that other customers have purchased based on the item you're shopping for. Here are the suggestions for Crocs:

See? People who wear Crocs also buy Truck Balls. And--far FAR worse--listen to "Hey There Delilah," and even pay money for the single. Horrifying. Amazing. I love the guy who wrote this very necessary hard-truth masterpiece. And as for knowing dick about fashion, the above clearly proves he's on his way to a career on the Style Network.

I have some more Cros hatin' to do, but it may have to wait for a bit--I have cookies to bake. After all, I need all the help I can get convincing Santa to drop off Prada heels even though our fireplace is faux and there isn't even a chimney.

> r r <

Plaid Fabulous

2007-12-22T19:29:00.000-08:00

I don't normally post about things as pure objects of my admiration, unadorned by sarcasm and mocking. This season, however, I've been so very captivated by PLAID that I am compelled to do a little homage. And after all, as I said at age 3, "People can do whatever they want."

Do you think plaid is stodgy? Preppy, boring and mainly associated with bagpipes? Think again.

Could Suzy Parker be any more fabulous? Or, really, could her coat be? I really want one just like that; sadly, I think a full-length plaid number would be a little out of place here in L.A. So instead I covet the cropped version at J.Crew:

Since even on sale it is beyond my wallet's reach, how about the decent mimic at Forever21?

Perhaps is is cheesy of me to fall for plaid at holiday-time, but that's probably the reason. Despite being a heathen half-Jew, I am totally susceptible to warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. I suddenly get domestic, plan all kinds of seasonal menus and events, and wish for matching scarf-&-mitten sets. And, apparently, plaid outerwear.

I am guilty of pining after things but never actually making up my mind to get them; I still don't have a plaid jacket, even though the one above is totally accessible. BUT I did take hours and hours basing my final project in computer fashion illustration on the fabulous plaid coat and related items. Perhaps now that I've spent at least 30 hours painstakingly digitizing plaid patterns and sketching clothes, I don't actually need the item itself. That is one problem with fashion: you immerse yourself so thoroughly that you end up sick to death of everything you once thought was lovely!

But I'm still pining a bit...and hey, Christmas is still to come. I hope Santa has us on his blogroll.

> r r <

Oh Dear, Again.

2007-12-09T18:21:00.001-08:00

Dear Ladies,

Let Alicia Keys teach us all a valuable lesson:

Never, never, never, never, never wear drapy jersey tucked around your nether regions. It is even worse than what I had thought was the worst offender: satin stretched horizontally across the abdomen.

But mercy me, I was wrong. Thank you, Alicia, for sacrificing all personal dignity to impart such a priceless message. This image, burned forever into our horrified retinas, will not be soon forgotten.

> r r <

Oh Dear.

2007-12-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

I try to contradict people's impression that fashion students are airheads as much as I can, but what I witnessed today can only serve to further that stereotype. There's only so much I can stand up for my peers before breaking down in awestruck disbelief at what comes out of the mouths of people who appear perfectly capable....

So I was in the textile library, snipping some lengths of ribbon to tie together my Fit Analysis terminology notebook (very cool, no?), when a girl walked up to the woman staffing the help desk. At first, when I heard her ask, "What kind of fiber is leather?", I thought I'd misheard. Obviously, leather is not made of any sort of fiber; it is leather. But no. That really was her question. The woman at the desk gave her a long, scornful eyebrow-raise and said slowly, "Well, leather is made generally from a cow. Occasionally, a goat or sheep."

The girl took this in.

"So, like, it's a natural fiber?"

Dear god.

NOT A FIBER

> r r <

The Latest on Chanel Tattoo Girl

2007-12-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Remember that girl I have class with who has a Chanel logo tattoo behind her ear, just like in the Chanel glasses ad from spring '07? Right, her. Well, finally the other day I maneuvered my way into finding out her reasoning behind the tattoo. And folks, I was shocked. I'd gone along assuming that my classmate had swiped her tattoo from the pictures in an attempt to join their tribe of converts (chief member: Mischa Barton). But when I oh-so-casually asked, "When did you get your tattoo?", she answered..."ABOUT A YEAR AGO." Whoa. This means that she was getting inked when those ads were just a kernel of an idea in a branding expert's brain over at Lagerfeld Central. Not only that, when I said how it was cool that it was the same as in print (oh, I lie), she didn't know what I was talking about. Nope--this girl, who's decided that Chanel is so "her" that she wears its logo 24/7, apparently doesn't even read the fancy fashion magazines where her fave brand, and its advertisements, are featured.

WEIRD.

Here, for incredulity's sake, is another Chanel-phile with the same idea:

She's a RankMyTattoo.com user named AmandaxChanel, and her caption is: "I got this tattoo because Chanel is what inspired me to be a fashion designer. I know its dumb but its what I am passionate about."

STILL WEIRD.

> r r <

Best Vietnamese Restaurant in L.A. is Now Plural

2007-11-27T14:17:00.000-08:00

I just got this notice in my inbox, and since I'm running off to class to hand in a final project (on the oh-so-scintillating topic of "Departmental Analysis, Demographic & Psychographic Profile, Sales Plan, Assortment and Purchasing Plan for Lauren Jeans Co. in Macy's at the Westside Pavilion"), I don't have time to rephrase--but I'm so excited about this news I'll just post it up verbatim. Viet Soy Cafe is one of the best places to eat, period, and this new one is the perfect excuse to go, er, taste-test. I.e., eat everything on the menu.

"Sometimes it feels like you have to travel to the Far East to get a good bowl of bun chay.

Or at least trek to Atwater. That’s where the new Viet Noodle Bar is now open for lunch and dinner.

An offshoot of Viet Soy Cafe in Silver Lake, the decor is simple: white walls, two long, communal tables, and books piled high along a shelf that runs the length of the room.

The menu’s simple, too. Beverages like homemade soy milk and cleansing tonics C-shot (sugarcane, lemon, cayenne) and pennywort and apple juice have been carried over, while new Central and Northern flavors are introduced with dishes like banh nam (thin rice flour pancake with shrimp steamed in a banana leaf) and rice noodle bowls like bun ca thi la (turmeric white fish). Pho debuts next month.

That should give you enough time to find a map."

Viet Noodle Bar, 3133 Glendale Boulevard, between Glenfeliz Boulevard and Edenhurst Avenue, Atwater Village (323-906-1575).

[Psst--the brown rice with lotus seed is INSANELY good. > r r < ]

Ain't No Celery at the 5%C Thanksgiving Table

2007-11-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

So, inspired by fabulous blogs like LAist, I'm making a list of things I'm thankful for at this very moment. I don't know why anyone cares about this type of thing, since what I'm thankful for very likely has nothing to do with you, but everyone else is doing it (even Perez, in his way), so it must be cool (right?). I will even try to make it relevant to 5%C by including fabulous foods and fashions. Not difficult. OKAY.

RR is all like "THANKS" about some stuff including these things:

Schizophrenic fall weather that lets you wear little skirts or big sweaters
The advent of holiday baking season!
Clifton's Cafeteria in downtown L.A. with all the old people and the weird forest dioramas
Beautiful old postcards
LOLcats
These Prada shoes
My new job
Our cat learning to use his scratching post
Mezzanine Owls' upcoming record
Project Runway
Persimmons
Gloves with fur trim
Animals with fur trim
Babies dressed like animals
Not having any babies
Wooly tights (Hue and DKNY make great ones for stingy girls like me)
Establishments that let me stay stingy: The 99 Cents Only store, taco stands, Thank You Mart
All the new movies I actually want to see
The fabulous Louise Brooks
The fact that I didn't succumb to the iPhone craze, since now there's a Google phone in development
And...I am thankful for today's being notably full of food, as I am currently starrrrving.

On that note, I'm audi (oh, & of course I am thankful, as always, for Clueless).

> r r <

Food + Fashion--For Reals?

2007-11-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

One question I get a lot is, "So, is everyone at that fashion school of yours, like, totally anorexic?" And honestly, when I first started there, I was shocked at the offerings at the café--chips, donuts, cup o' noodles, etc.--because I was picturing the girls of The Devil Wears Prada and assuming that no way in hell were fashion-school girls eating this stuff.

Well, for y'all's info, I was wrong. Sure, many of my peers at school are toothpicks in skinny jeans...but it's only the very rarest of them that brings Ziploc bags full of carrots from home to eat between classes. Quite the contrary: apparently, most of the people I see every day subsist on exactly the kind of food that Nicole Richie would die before letting pass her lips:

Yep, the real meal secret of fashionistas is salt + sugar, shaken together in a bag and served in massive quantities. Washed down, of course, with multiple Diet Cokes (the fashion girl's bottled water). Oh, and let's not be prejudiced in our reporting here; what about fashion students of the male persuasion? Those very fabulous boys prefer Subway (handily located across the street, at a Shell station. So very chic.).

We all know how models give that annoying line about eating whatever they want and never exercising and jsut having magical metabolisms...well, judging by my peers, maybe it's true after all. Fashion and logic never go together, after all. Just a little--dare I say--food for thought!

> r r <

When Fashion School & Gossip Girl Collide

2007-11-17T21:46:00.000-08:00

How convenient that two main occupations of mine of late—digital sketching and Gossip Girl—would convene in such a, well, material fashion. (Ha! Fashion! I am hilarious.)

Interruption: the most ridiculous Sandals Jamaica ad is on TV right now. Sandals, like Michael Scott on The Office took Jan to. So this ad actually has “Time of My Life” as the background song. Who on EARTH is this targeting? Amazing.

Anyway, first, I’ll explain that a key part of fashion design is digital illustration and graphic design. You may think it’s all Project-Runway-style freakouts (speaking of which, how excited am I that P.R. is finally back? SO VERY.) and madly inspired moments but actually, design now involves a lot of painstaking work in various programs written by Adobe. For my Applied Technology class, I have to draw dresses, shoes, what have you, and then lay out pages with backgrounds and color swatches and titles and stuff…all of which has to correspond with the concept of the design. I like designing everything, but jesus it takes forever. Here’s what a finished page looks like, using a photo inspiration and then adapting it:

Second, I’ve started watching the new show Gossip Girl recently. Along with being the next O.C. (in a good way—oh, the adolescent drama! The love triangles and pentagons! The endless catty comments that we wish we’d thought of in high school!), Gossip Girl also takes The O.C.’s place as fantastic fashion spectacle. There’s Blair, preptastic princess extraordinaire, who manages to pull off headbands and ringlets, and then our heroine, Serena, who’s kind of designer bohemian and has hair that is always unbrushed yet totally perfect somehow. I’m sure her wardrobe is calculated by teams of statisticians to make us fall uncontrollably in girl-love with her, and I can’t deny it’s worked. In fact, I KNOW that the wardrobe is at least as calculated as most…because Gossip Girl, after making you covet every $400 Tory Burch striped sequin shift that Serena wears to an ill-fated party, gives you a hyperlink to its ONLINE STORE. Yep, Gossip Girl has its own boutique with links to all the stuff to let you buy our way to Upper-East-Side soap-opera stardom yourself. You can even "browse by brand, character, episode or product"! And THEN you can link to Victoria's Secret looks "inspired by" the characters.

So while I could rattle on about how interesting it is to see how the entertainment and retail industries are coming together via the all-powerful internet, instead I’ll cut to the coincidence: when I visited the Gossip Girl style file deal online (in the name of research, natch), what did I see but the very purse I’d just finished using for my class! I picked it solely because it was easy to draw, but I guess it must be chic, too. At least according to The CW’s statisticians.

> r r <

J.Con--What The Fug?

2007-11-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

I just have a quick question.

What the HECK is going on with Jennifer Connelly's face? Look at it for a minute.

Don't get me wrong, I've loved her ever since Labyrinth, but homegirl seems to be having some serious symmetry issues.

> r r <

I would just like to note...

2007-10-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

...that an unknown internet surfer recently clicked to this blog via Googling "swedish ta-tas."

Swedish ta-tas ==> 5%Celery.

LOVE IT.

> r r <

Sunday Style Roundup

2007-10-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Well, hello there.

Preface: We may have fallen off the old "posting"* boat, but hey, we've been otherwise occupied. Often that means someone is in the loo, but in this case, it means that .:tt:. and >rr< have been occupied with things such as Acquiring New Jobs, being Productive Members of Society (Ending World Hunger, Ending Misuse of Terrycloth Pants, etc.). But we have not forgotten entirely about you, gentle reader (oh, Miss Manners), and to that end I've put together a list of my most favorite fashion & style resources on Ye Olde Internets. Even if you just think of these sites as procrastinatory devices rather than fascinating sociological tracts, hey, at least they're marginally more edifying than Perez. Without further ado:
The Sartorialist - The most gracious documenter of street style, in his words, "started The Sartorialist simply to share photos of people that I saw on the streets of New York that I thought looked great. When I worked in the fashion industry (15 years), I always felt that there was a disconnect between what I was selling in the showroom and what I was seeing real people (really cool people) wearing in real life." This now translates into a gorgeously simple photo blog updated daily from his travels all over, among circles high and low. He gives us thoroughly chic fashion plates and fantastic old men in hats. [see -------->]
GoFugYourself -This indispensable site is the first thing I read after I stare down my horrifying Gmail inbox. The Fug Girls knock fashion offenders neatly off their pedestals with a hearty dose of hilariousness. They're geniuses. It's addictive. I'm sure you know this already.
The New York Times Fashion & Style section - They're pretty on it in terms of mainstream fashion news, and have intelligent reporting on fashion in the real world. Their photo montages of Manhattan folk are fun too (e.g. people wearing galoshes! Or, yellow dresses! Or, white fur! I feel like New Yorkers are actually way more daring with their everyday ensembles than we Angelenos.). Plus, the Style section has articles on media, pop culture, music, blah blah, which are relatively smart. Plus, their wedding reports are unbeatable! Even my very un-cheesy stepmother reads them religiously. And let's not forget the very pretty seasonal "T" magazine they put out about fashion & style. Good times. (Hah! TIMES! I am a master of puns!)
Deeply Superficial - A graduate student of fashion theory writes this catch-all blog about "fashion theory/fashion history/fashion now." My fave combo! I'm excited to find that you can actually study fashion theory in grad school--a dream of mine--and her posts on fashion theory, recent fashion happenings and phenomena (and sample sales!) are neat.
Fashion Theory: The Journal of Dress, Body & Culture - I received this heinously expensive Scandinavian journal for a year (thanks, Mom) and now can check the super-academic articles online (or, at least, the free previews of them).
Style.com - Duh, I know. But they have all the runway shows, neat articles spotlighting industry darlings or newcomers, and it's where I can check to see things like, oh, what kind of shirt CAN I wear with my trouser-leg jeans?
Fashion Geek - I guess this is a Citysearch blog (weird), but it's got updates on the U.S. fashion scene, snarky Fashion Week reviews, notices of random fun events and music and stuff too. Whoever writes it is amusing and it does provide a nice jumble of vaguely related posts (Marc Jacobs vs Tom Ford in a "nude-off"! Latest weird trends! Gossip from the reporter! Interviews of people on the street!). Kind of like a Gawker of fashion, I guess.

OK, enough for now. I won't admit to any more of the stuff I read regularly for fear of looking like some geek who reads about the industry all day...um...so, I'm off to brave the outside and find some sushi.
xo,
> r r < *My newest favoritest randomest blog that warms the cockles of my grammar-freak heart: the blog of unnecessary quotation marks!

WOOO! (RR's San Sebastián Report, Pt. 1)

2007-10-05T03:20:00.000-07:00

Hello kiddies!

Apologies for the long absence: tt has been increasing her stardom in the world of chef-ery and I (rr) have been kicking up my heels all the way to San Sebastián (capital of the Basque country, Spain--yes, the one with all the terrorists). WiFi is still a new concept here, and internet cafés are just so bleh, so hence the delays in reportage. Anyway, a quick 'n' dirty listing of my discoveries here might entail a list such as this following one.

San Sebastián--a summary: Adorable resort town with horrendous exchange rate and more bars per square meter than any other city in the world. Keep in mind, though, that these are tapas bars (pintxos bars, if you're cool & speaking Basque) that feature lots of loud, stout, happy old people. Beautiful beaches, unfortunate tendency to drizzle. Fabulous place to eat and shop (basically all you can do in the afternoon, when everything else closes for siesta).

What's IN:

Mullets, especially on girls
Skinny jeans, still
Giant awkward jeans, unfortunatelyBright burgundy hair, on old ladies only
Industrial-strength umbrellas (thanks to the crazy rainstorms here, everyone's got one)
Fried potatoes of any sort
Mayonnaise
Mayonaisse ON fried potatoes.
Optical shops (seriously, on every block is another "General Óptica")
Cod (SanSeb. is basically the Spanish equivalent of Cape Cod, fishing-wise)
Phone charms with mini Chupa-Chups racing helmets on them
Zara (their navy paper bags are as ubiquitous here as Trader Joe's bags in Silverlake)
Middle-aged women unsuspectingly wearing shirts with vulgar English sayings
White asparagus (a must on top of any salad*)
Fabulous flats that make me especially regret the heinous valuelessness of the dollar

What's OUT:

Earth tones
Vegetables (*"salad" =pasta, peas and canned olives held together by copious mayo)
Pooper-scoopers
Vegetarianism
Flip-flops (hello, rain & slick tiles along the waterfront don't mix)
The Atkins concept (everything here comes with bread on the side)
Yet nor can one find decent bread (it looks like french bread...but is SO not)
America (pretending you're Canadian is always helpful, to avoid the accusatory exclamations of "BUSH!")Comfortable shoes, even for old ladies
Spending too long on the internets when one could be downing more tapas with various irresistible combos of goat cheese, foie, olives, etc...)

Speaking of which, off I go, then--

> r r <

Note: My gleeful tone and sloppy list-making has nothing to do with the abundance of sidra, the local fermented apple drink. NOTHING whatsopoever. Yeah, I said it, WHATSOPEVER.

Branding Herself...Like You'd Brand Yer Cattle

2007-09-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

Remember these ads from Chanel's recent Spring/Summer campaign? I remember noting the tattoos, vaguely wondering if they were real, concluding that obviously they weren't, briefly pondering the implications of brand logos being tattooed onto bodies, and soon forgetting the whole subject.

Until, that is, I started my latest term at design school and was seated next to a 20ish girl whose hair was pulled back, revealing an identical "CC" tattoo behind her ear. "Huh," I thought, "Chanel is actually selling those temporary tattoos from the ads! Crazy--I can't believe people would actually buy those. I guess their marketing dept. really does know what it's doing." The next week, the girl still had a tat in the same place. "Wow," I thought, impressed, "Those things really last!" Well, dear reader, of course the next week I realized that Chanel has not made its fake tats available at your local Neiman's; no, no, this dedicated chick actually went further than the Chanel models and got the Chanel logo permanently, indelibly inked on her skin. She's not a tat fiend, either; the CC is the only visible mark on her body, telling the world that the very most important message she has to broadcast about herself via her sizzled skin is...Chanel. I, she is saying, AM CHANEL.

Apart from the obvious falsity of this statement, what puzzles me most is that she's not a particularly Chanel-y dresser. Her clothes come from Forever21 and Abercrombie (and I'm not even sure of that because they're just that unmemorable). The big-ass sunglasses pushing her hair back might be Chanel, but she shows no other sign of Coco & Karl's striking, powerful-woman black-&-white vibe. Perhaps her theory goes that if she's got the tattoo, she doesn't actually need the clothes to transmit the Chanel message, whatever she thinks it is. In other words, perhaps the branding has been so effective that she not only believes in the power of the double C, but believes that everyone else does, too. Heck, she may be right--in which case she's saved herself a heck of a lot of money. I prefer to believe, however, that whatever power Chanel has truly lies in the interesting clothes, which is simply what the logos hope to evoke. I dunno, though--the impact of the Ralph Lauren Polo logo is certainly stronger than the polo shirt alone (strong enough for the guy who got the polo pony tattooed on his chest...*).

*click link for article revealing that brand-branding is an actual phenomenon. Sad, or inevitable?

> r r <

It Was Inevitable: Designer Yogurt

2007-09-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

I've had a little yogurt lid tacked up on my fridge all summer that came from a yogurt I got at Harrod's in London. Not only is it called Rachel's, but the full title is "Rachel's Low Fat Natural Bio-Live Yogurt, 450g." I'm a big fan of plain low-fat yogurt (all of the above are essential: full-fat is gluey, fat-free is watery, and sugared or fake-sugared is just nasty). I'm also a big fan of the metric system (I STILL don't know how many damn pints are in a quart). Obviously, this yogurt lid is a pretty good summation of my character. But I thought it was a U.K.-only thing (those Europeans really have their mini yogurts down. I'm so jealous.), until I got a message informing me that Rachel's is not only available at my local health food store (supposedly) but also now has new trendalicious flavors:

Anyone remember my big essay on trendy beverages? Well, it looks like yogurt can now be your new portable status symbol. The proof is in the magical ingredients that are mandatory for check-me-and-my-glowing-health-out snack bling--in this case, not only tired buzzwords like green tea and chai, but woah-nelly POMEGRANATE ACAI. You know that's destined for Jessica Alba's trendsetting little paws. And if you read the fine print, this yogurt has all kinds of organisms and whatnot that will keep you forever young and also end global warming and probably get rid of herpes while it's at it. Hot damn. Get thee to thy Whole Foods, early adopters, since your iPhones have lost their cache!

> r r <

The Latest Genius Idea I Didn't Think Of

2007-09-10T01:19:00.000-07:00

I know y'all remember the Baby-Sitters Club. I think I read all of them up to about #75; at that point, I grew up a little and Ann M. Martin started to foray into wild new worlds of BSC brand extensions ("Super-Special" double-length books! A mystery spinoff series! The movie! Yes, even graphic novels! When did the woman sleep? I bet she eventually got herself a computer program that just inserted key names, Mad-Libs-style, into prefab plotlines to keep the series going.). But I'd been a big fan. I even took the time to sit down and write Ms. Martin a letter once, pqainstakingly explaining all the inaccuracies in her descriptions of Stacey's diabetes. (I received a simpering form letter in response, covered in BSC stickers and with zero mention of my letter's angry corrections.)

Anyway, my favorite thirteen-year-old bab-sitter (wow, THIRTEEN...I could hardly fathom it) was always Claudia. She was so artsy! So cool! So devil-may-care! She made her own earrings and even decorated her hi-tops with freakin' puffy paint! What a role model. Not that I wasn't creative myself--I always chose my own clothes--but I generally landed more on the fashionably questionable side (picture a little girl in pinafores and hot pink Keds) and only dreamed of being some sort of hyper-cool cross between Claudia and Clarissa [Explains It All].

But I'd forgotton those dark years of my life until I came across this most fabulous of fabulous blogs: What Claudia Wore. Kim of Amherst, MA, whoever you are: I envy you. I envy the genius you obviously possess to have come up with the idea, and I envy the power you have over legions of twentysomething female readers to conjure up memories of our reverence for Claudia's ensembles, alongside burning, burning shame at realizing how utterly horrifying said ensembles were. Thank god most of us weren't as crafty as ole Claud, or else the 80s might have been just that much worse.

> r r <

Party Like It's The Frozen North

2007-09-05T00:10:00.000-07:00

In an effort to beat the shocking, life-sucking heat wave in Los Angeles this weekend, we decided to throw a bash honoring that part of the world where it's generally very cold: Scandinavia! I'm Swedish, my friend is Norwegian, our third posse member had just been in Stockholm--et voila, a bash is born. (Also, as you may gather from my post on Swedish chic, I am utterly convinced that Sweden is the best country in the universe--and therefore also an extremely good theme for a party.) It was last-minute, on the cheap, ridiculous...a.k.a. totally great. Since the event was definitely food- and fashion-related, here's the report:

MENU: In order to be thoroughly authentic, we obviously had to forgo the grocery store and instead do a major IKEA run. We scored Swedish meatballs, lingonberry preserves (for the meatballs, of course, since all right-minded people put fruit on their ground meat), Knackebrod (dark Scando crispbreads; apparently, the hole in the middle is traditionally made with a broom handle) with Danish cheeses and sliced cucumber, canapés with peppery cream cheese & smoked salmon & caviar (swank, no?), and Swedish gingersnaps. We decided against pickled herring for obvious reasons (and also because it's just nasty). Oh yes, and let's not forget little bowls of Swedish fish (duh!) and chocolate Dalahasten (Swedish horses) (see below).

We did not serve bowls of real Swedish horses, however.

"The qualities that the North Swedish Horse possesses are energy, durability, stamina, and respectable longevity."

Ah, good old respectable longevity...which reminds me, in order to help test our guests' durability, stamina, etc., we of course had to have a big old bottle of Sweden's own Absolut (the grapefruit kind--my fave. Hey, my party!). Tasted fab with the random Scandinavian berry juice we had plus a little seltzer. Or, you know, straight from the bottle.

FASHIONHAGGEN: On the fashion front, I managed to assemble an entirely Nordic getup (thanks, H&M and my blue-and-yellow Converses). I would've worn my Cheap Monday jeans to mix up the labels a bit, but the 100-degree weather persuaded me otherwise. Others obliged with chich that would put bike-riding Norwegians to shame. We all tried to channel thoughts of Scando snow as we ate our salty, fishy foods and listened to a playlist of exclusively Nordic bands (their ratio of good bands is so unfairly high. Even their white rappers are better than ours.).

For more reasons Sweden rules, go here. For my patented family recipe for Swedish meatballs, go here. THAT'S RIGHT, NO LINK, SUCKAS! You'll never get that secret out of me.

The real question now is: where's that last little bit of Havarti? It might go well with a little Robyn on the stereo.

> r r <

Does This Make Computer Games Cool, or Fashion Dorky??

2007-08-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

Remember when I wrote about LC's virtual clothing line for the Virtual Hills game? Apparently, she's not the only one with that idea....

Ever in search of the newest ways to promote their wares, labels such as Stella McCartney, Lacoste, and, more recently, H&M, are venturing out of real-world practices and reaching out to what may become greener marketing pastures — the digital lifestyle simulators of Second Life and The Sims.

Steve Lubomski, H&M's US advertising director who spearheaded the fashion retailer's collaboration with The Sims this summer, proclaims that "The virtual world is definitely the new marketing frontier."

A solution for those computer nerds who may not be so nerdy? I still find the whole Second Life phenomenon quite creepy, but obviously those designers have gotten over the heebie-jeebies and hopped on the money train. Apparently there's even a designer or three who makes her LIVING designing virtual gear. I'm just imagining trying to explain this to my 93-year-old grandmother, who used to work at a clothing manufacturer in Manhattan, which was about as far from "virtual" as you could get. I don't think she'd even believe me.

Say No to Cruggs

2007-08-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

OH my GOD.

Take cover, fellow citizens! The locusts are coming, Vesuvius is on the verge, Florida is breaking off, and all the ozone is gone!

Because really, the only thing that the new Crocs "Mammoth" can signify is the END OF THE WORLD.

Why else would the gods allow the monstrous combination of the two worst shoe trends known to (wo)man? Whoever dreamed up the spawn of heinous molded plastic gardening clogs/clown shoes (Crocs) with possibly-more-heinous giant furry dinosaur boots (Uggs) clearly was planning my demise. Mental demise, at least. This violates all rules and makes me question the American public even more than its widespread support of Fall Out Boy.

Question, though: who's going to buy these things? The biggest fans of Uggs are dippy girls in denim miniskirts, who would never be seen wearing Crocs. The biggest Croc wearers are hippie-wannabes who probably consider Uggs too popular and too made-of-animals (though their moms back in Minnesota may own some for the wintertime). Wait--I know! The guys in the entertainment industry who wear Uggs not with miniskirts (obviously) but to show how laid-back they are whilst chilling in their beachfront pads wearing Seven jeans. They probably need something to wear when Uggs just won't do, but they still need to project that all-important blase real-dude vibe. Cruggs to the rescue?

No. No. They're just too bad. I can't deal. Time to go huddle under a desk and wait for the apocolypse.

> r r < (with thanks to TheTopCoat for the heads-up.)

Everyone is Doing It

2007-08-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday!

Wanna know why I'm so happy? I can't even begin to tell you...it couldn't be because I watched a three hour cheezoid movie about Charles Manson and then walked home at midnight by myself.

Nor could it be because I was a sex sandwich (and not in a good way) last night--as both people that live on either side of me were having loud, passionate sex whilst I sat and watched Law and Order reruns with my pooch.

It might be because I need focus to do a good job with work, and these days finding inspiration and conversation about food is easy to do.

Doesn't it seem like everyone cooks these days? I remember the old days when I was a sophisticate with my knowlege of haricot vert and squid ink pasta. Now I am a dime a dozen. Never fear, I rejoice in this new found love for good food--it can only mean fabulous things for me and my belly.

The book that will tell the tale: The United States of Arugula

This website proves that it is hard to get visits without a few recipes: HEYA HIFI

The master at writing about it: Michael Ruhlman

Someone who makes art with it: Aya Brackett

Someone who cooks it: .:tt:. (hey...how'd that get in there??)

These ladies LOVE food: Food Porn (not for the faint of heart or the under-aged, this is REAL PORN. Seriously. Don't look if you don't like porn. I HAD to look. Research. I swear. Research.)

So sit back nation, it's time empty your bowls of plastic and polyester food--there's a revolution going on.

.:tt:.

Lark Cake Shop, A Review

2007-08-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

Occasionally we like to have another voice of reason. This voice of reason comes from John Southern, an architect and an avid eater (that's what I said, AVID). Please sit back, relax, it's not my voice you will be hearing your head all day...

.:tt:.

“Let them eat cake”-- According to Wikipeda, it ain’t Marie Antoinette.

Living in what I refer to as the “Silver Lake Lowlands”, any new culinary opportunity is observed with the same type of anxious optimism usually held by peoples under siege. It’s not that we don’t have options down here, it’s just most of them tend to be on the low end of the culinary totem pole. I mean, how many papusas or pho bowls can one eat before the taste buds tire and shrivel from too much salt and MSG? We also don’t have much in the way of dessert options either, which is why the addition of Lark Cake Shop on Sunset Blvd. is such a welcome treat.

Lark, owned by Colleen Standish, has established itself in a commercial strip just south of Micheltorena St. normally associated with auto-body shops and Latin American storefront churches. After eyeing their sign during construction, I found that they’d opened while I was away in Berlin. An attack of the late afternoon munchies forced me and my date to drop in one hot and steamy Wednesday afternoon.

Enough chit-chat already! On to them’ baked goodz!

Lark specializes in cupcakes, frosted cookies, and fancy cakes, all of which earn a prize in aesthetics and sugary-sweet goodness. The staff is super nice and is quick to offer up samples from the on-site bakery, which is cleverly on view through a large glass window. What gets though me are the prices. Cupcakes are currently pegged at $1.90 (tax incld.) which for the quality and size is remarkably fair. In a neighborhood that is quickly gentrifying (which means we’re going from cheap to posh in the blink of an eye) this is a welcome addition that will no doubt pull in hipster and long-time residents alike.

My date, Emily, and I each ordered a cupcake to sample the standard fare of the house. I chose the coconut-nut vanilla frosted cupcake, while she picked a delich’ chocolate-frosted dream that was surprisingly light on the taste-buds, despite its rich appearance. The coconut was crisp and the icing cool, sugary, and fresh- sweet relief on a hot summer day. I ordered an espresso to compliment my snack and it came out frothy and smooth, rather than the usual bitter and oily combo that one finds at Backdoor Bakery and Casbah. Emily, an avid baker herself, is a tough critic when it comes to baked goods, and she agreed that Lark beats the pants off other bakeries in the area, due to its homegrown taste, and reasonable prices. I couldn’t be happier with the place since it now means another “sweet” destination in a neighborhood that needs more.
The bonus is that Lark is open late- 7pm weekdays and 10pm on the weekends. This means that whether you’re on your way home from a tough day at the office, or out for a walk after dinner, Lark is going to be a constant temptation, that’s heavy on the taste buds, but light on the wallet.

Oh! I also forgot to mention that it’s next to Stark- a waxing spa, so the ladies (or the frictionless inclined gentleman) can pamper themselves with fuzzy coconut cupcakes after their “Brazilian” and lament what was lost.

Eat and Enjoy!

Lark Cake Shop
3337 West Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026. (t.323.667.2968)

Swede Chic on ShareMyLook

2007-08-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

THIS GIRL IS SO COOL.

I stumbled on a photosharing website called ShareYourLook, which is a sort of predecessor to the kind of site I'm working on creating...anyway, my favorite posts so far are from the above-pictured girl in Sweden. I'm part Swedish and have a raging crush on the entire country (its fashion and architectural designs, its bands, its universal health care...), so our Miss "Beautifulones" here adds yet more fuel to my Svenska-ogling fire. Swedes are so cool. I've been to Stockholm once, and everyone there was light years ahead of hipsters & co. in the States. They're not all blonde, but mostly, and all have ridiculous bone structure and super cool Lee jeans (back then anyway, before they were here much), and impeccable style and black bicycles and long legs. I can tell this girl is tall like me, which makes me feel like when I someday move to Sweden and have a perfect life, I will fit in with the hordes, and all the other Swedish girls and I will live in overly-long-limbed glory.
Gosh, just look at her awesome clothes. They're not even from crazy designer stores. Just normal stores you can go to when you live in the best country ever, Sweden.

OMG, I totally own this. Same H&M suspender skirt and everything (PS--So does .:tt:.). If I go to Sweden, I can wear it and this girl and I will be BEST FRIENDS. Since obviously when I stalk her and tell her I found her on the internet and have the same outfit so I know we're destined to be together, she will totally see my point.

> r r <

T-berry

2007-08-22T08:43:00.001-07:00

Im sorry--I've been working like a fool. A fool indeed.

I wanted to share a story that you might enjoy. Because I have a sense of humor I enjoyed it, otherwise, I might have thrown the soup at them...

One day not long ago, S came home to say that she is off of sugar. "Oh bummer", says I--but I am a good little chef, and happen to know of all kinds of sugar substitutes that are natural.

"It's okay." I tell her, "You can eat Xylitol and Agave, two natural sugar-like substances that are really yummy."

So alas, Xylitol and Agave are out of stock. But eventually they are restocked and purchased and made into a yummy "healthy" version of Pinkberry.

6.30PM arrives. R comes home from work carrying a cute little bag that I note to be familiar.

"I've brought dessert...Pinkberry!"

So I'm instructed to serve up both so they can laugh at the "healthy" version and like the bowl clean of the other.

This is how I spend my days.

This ends the first reading.

T-Berry
1 large containter of FAGE total yogurt
juice of 1/2 Lemon
1/2 C of Sugar (or sugar substitute to taste)
1 pt Strawberries, quartered
tt Agave syrup
Mix yogurt, lemon juice and sugar in a mixer and put into an ice cream
machine and use according to directions
Once frozen top with strawberries and agave.

.:tt:.

Short-Shorts: An Unsightly Sighting

2007-08-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

The other night I went to Spaceland for a friend's band's show. Now, while Spaceland is pretty cool, it's cool because the bands playing there are cool rather than popular. There's a difference. Somehow, though, this friend's band turned out to be wildly popular, resulting in the longest (a.k.a. first) line I've ever seen outside Spaceland. While standing in said line, I--naturally--whiled away the minutes checking out people's outfits. This was pretty entertaining, since the crowd was very clearly not made up of regulars. Normally a bastion of hipster chic, that night the sidewalk was covered in people armed with their loudest, pseudo-punkest, Hollywood-y-est gear. Lots of spiky black hair, tats on girls, big intimidating shoes... you know. I managed to capture the best (worst) of them with my crappy cameraphone:

It's hard, with this grainy picture, to convey the utter horror of this poor misguided woman's getup. It's SO BAD. I noticed her because she was one of those girls who thinks that the more high-pitched your voice and the louder your laugh, the better chance you have with men. Her voice was very high and her laugh very loud. The second thing to sink in was that her legs were VERY long. Normally this is a desirable thing. But with this choice of mini-shorts and boots, one would need the shortest legs possible to make it look at all decent. On her, it was just cringe-inducing. I felt guilty for happening to see the very tippy-tops of her inner thighs,,,but I had no choice! Those are barely even shorts! If only you could have seen the endless gleam of her insane expanse of leg, unmissable against everyone else's clothed bodies (clothed in things that, despite silly punkishness etc., were at least suitable for late evening weather). And you know what? I take back that possibility of "looking decent" with shorter stems. No way could this very shiny, very tight shorts-&-camisole duo look decent, ever. It looks like what I wear to bed--but shinier and tighter.

What I really wonder, though, in addition to "What mind-altering drugs did she take before taking her little sister's pj's from the bin and calling it a day?", is: Were the guys at whom she was chirping actually excited by her shiny-mini-gear? Are my standards those of a certain social group, while this girl's are actually consistent with those of some Hollywood society? No, NO, I just refuse to believe that. Apart from social standards, though, has this chick caught onto some key to male desire here? Are there certain guys who see her and rejoice, rather than recoil?

God help them.

> r r <

International Dress-Up Day!

2007-08-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

FYI: International Dress-Up Day is this Saturday, August 18.

The lovely Australian fashion/life/fun blogger Gala Darling invented I.D.U.D., which she defines as

...an excuse to get dressed up in an excessively-frivolous manner. A theme is selected (by popular vote or by a guest), a date is designated, & the faithful begin to plot their outfits. As far as iCiNG goes, the most exciting time is in the few days after i.D.U.D. happens, when everyone sends in their photographs from the day.

The theme for this Saturday's is still undecided, but I think it's more the thought that counts. Maybe it's the day for me to finally unleash the floor-length prom dress that's been wrapped in my closet since high school. Of course, with a floor-length blonde wig, since my childhood dream was to be a princess (which obviously entails floor-length blonde hair). Oh wait, Saturday is the day I was thinking of hitting Sunset Junction, where my dearest dear friends The Pity Party and Autolux are playing alongside swoony Blonde Redhead. Well...perhaps my prom dress dress will contrast nicely with the hordes of skinny-jeaned waifs descending on Sunset. What will YOU be wearing? The pressure's on.

> r r <

The Style Network: RR Gets Cable

2007-08-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

I've always been rather proud of my resistance to TV. I never had cable as a kid, and am generally out of the loop when anyone makes references to shows past or present. Sure, I love Project Runway, Top Chef, all heinous MTV dating shows, Weeds, and, um, Pimp My Ride. But I only watch them by chance at other people's houses, and have never been able to imagine having the free time to even enjoy cable TV, were I to have it at home. That is, until this weekend. We just got some fabulous new neighbors who offered to split cable service with us, and since then I've spent at least 50% of the past two days open-mouthed in front of the television. I was already totally thrilled at the prospect of Bravo any time, and I secretly love turning on VH1 Classic while I'm around the house ("Metal Mania," anyone?), but I didn't even think about the Style Network until today.

The Style Network is the source of "Extreme Makeover" and "Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane," but a less infamous show is what held me down to the sofa for an hour this evening:"How Do I Look?" It's basically an un-extreme makeover show, rather like "What Not To Wear," in which clueless fashion victims get clued in by the fiercely stylish, yet very sweet, host (a 30ish lady of indeterminate British origin who has the lone first name Finola. Oh wait--Google informs me that she's been on General Hospital and All My Children. See, I told you I haven't been a big TV girl...). Its tagline is "Because naked is not an option," and it claims to take those in "style denial" and let two close friends and one professional stylist fix them up so passersby no longer gape in horror. For instance: tonight's episode featured a mother-daughter pair, both of whom had severe issues involving multi-colored muu-muus. They both considered bright colors the only way to express their "colorful personalities," the mom wore only Birkenstocks (she was horrified when the judges threw out her "dress Birks"), and the daughter was a 25-year-old mother of two who looked like an overgrown dorky middle-schooler who just got her braces off.

What drew me in was the premise--hello, makeovers, shopping, whoopee--but what ended up fascinating me was how deeply intertwined these women's fashion attitudes were with their feelings about themselves. Eventually, the mom ended up revealing that she never felt pretty, and wearing outrageous anti-fashion outfits was a way to hide. We began to see that thhe daughter was still following her mother's dress code because she was terrified of change, and that she had never devoted enough time to herself to develop her own identity nor a resulting style. It was really amazing to see how very closely their ways of dressing were connected to these feelings; in a way, though they appeared and felt clueless about style, to me it seemed that their isolating choices were, in fact, quite informed by mainstream fashion. I.e., in their decisions to wear the unremarkable or downright off-putting, they were rejecting what they were aware was more "normal" (and what would be, surely, much easier to find in stores than their giant smock numbers.).

It was nice to see the show letting women choose which new looks were most appealing to them, and letting the lightbulb go on as to how the new clothes projected their image. Finola says on the site, "The most satisfying thing about what I do is what I call 'when the penny drops.' It's when a woman suddenly sees herself in a way she's never thought of before, and she gets it. She's like, 'Of course this is what I'm supposed to look like.' I love that moment....And on my show, when it clicks for women--how they look and how it registers with other people and themselves--that's exciting. It's not that clothes make the man, but they can help a person understand who they are." I don't know about that, but one of my pet topics is the connection between one's mental image of oneself and how clothes are used to project that...and that's exactly what I got to revel in from 7-8 P.M.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear "The Fabulous Life Of..." calling my name. I do so love that narrator's insane, insane voiceovers.

> r r <

The RR Report: Magic Mountain

2007-08-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

*NOTE: I have been made aware that I made the egregious mistake of saying Valencia was in Orange County. Even I know that's not true...sorry, Valencia.

Runway Shows, Valencia-Style

When I told .:tt:. that I had a date to go to Magic Mountain, her first reaction was, "Mullets." Mullets? Yes, she said: when she'd gone a year or two back, she been surrounded--nay, swamped--by guys wearing non-ironic mullets. Needless to say, this made me totally freaking PSYCHEDDDD for Magic Mountain (in addition to the totally bitchin' coasters--"X" truly does enter a fourth dimension, for reals).

However, when we got there, I was saddened to see not a trace of mulletude. Not one. Instead, we were mostly sharing queue territory with bands of high-schoolers. Since I rarely see high school kids in my daily rounds, never mind Valencia-area high school kids, this was quite the anthropological experience for me. My coaster companion probably thought I was purposely ignoring him, when really my glazed eyes were just glued to all the gangly girls in tiny shorts and unfortunate bra choices. But it was he who asked me, "What's Hollister?" Oh, I told him, a small Abercrombie spinoff brand.* "But there are way more people in Hollister shirts than Abercrombie," he pointed out...and ye gods, he was right. Trolling around L.A., I NEVER see anyone wearing Hollister, but in Magic Mountain land, at least one out of four people between 14 and 24 was wearing a big ole HOLLISTER label across their chest. The longer we looked, the more Hollister we saw. I was really unnerved: could it be that I was that unaware of a huge trend? That my bubble of a world was that bubblicious? Frightening.
*[Note: apparently, Hollister is owned by Abercrombie, but their clothes are cheaper. Thanks, Sherrie Just, Boys' Sports Editor of the Viewmont High newspaper!]

In addition to scary numbers of logo tees, we saw an astonishing number of PLAID SHORTS. Now, I remember in high school, when Walter Neel wore a pair of plaid shorts along with his pink Ralph Lauren polo shirt as a total-overkill-prep joke. I mean, he really did wear them, but it was understood that they were funny. The thing is, I don't think all the boys and girls/men and women at Magic Mountain were displaying their finely tuned senses of irony. There were more pairs of plaid Bermudas, plaid 5-pocket shorts and unapologetic plaid booty shorts than there are senses of irony in the average population, so I have to conclude that the slick-prepster look has now been officially co-opted by Southern California as a whole. This contrasts amusingly with the very popular push-up-bra-and-too-small-shirt look.

I'm suddenly having flashes of inspiration re: possible conspiracy between Hollister and Magic Mountain. Conspiracy in that it was unbeknownst to us. Conspiracy being something involving Magic Mountain discounts upon purchases of items (esp. plaid shorts and logo tees) from Hollister. In Psych 101, I was taught that "correlation does not imply causation," but in this case, I am totally implying a causation-type situation. Note: SOMETHING TO LOOK INTO.

So, all in all, it was an educational day out in the wilds of Valencia. Not only did I fly through the air and scream a lot, but I also learned that what I would have considered a fashion anomaly--plaid butt and Hollister ta-tas--can be the norm, making me the anomaly. DEEP.

> r r <

Tasca, A Review

2007-07-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

I put the best thing I've ever had in my mouth last night...and it WAS in fact food (I always knew it would be).

Of course that lead in has you gripping the edge of your seat (especially if you are my father) but alas, like a good journalist, I will make you wait for the payoff--as I in fact did.

A few months ago this very cute, albeit way too-cool-guy gave me his card saying that he is a chef at Tasca, a tapas bar. His name is Nano Crespo, and once I got passed the name (and the sunglass wearing inside the building) I put the card in my wallet and thought I would visit when I had some time.

What with all of the restaurant openings in Los Angeles, I've gone broke and gained 13 pounds--so Tasca was down far on the list. (Coincidentally, I met Tiffany from Top Chef and she said she was heading over to Craft for dinner last night). But my friend CH invited me to dinner, and I never turn down a free glass of wine.

We sat in the very tiny space (it's soooo Spain that way) and met the owner right off of the bat. She's young, yields a light accent from somewhere outside of Los Angeles and is very nice; in fact the whole staff is very nice.

We started with the Brandade, which is salt cod, reconstituted and mixed with a thickener (in this case mashed potatoes) and made into a dip. It was fair. My dining partner was immediately turned off as it looked like "hairy mashed potatoes" and tasted like "kitty food". It is authentic, it's true.

The owner sent an amuse of truffle potato chips that were very good; highly scented with truffle but lightly flavored. That is the wondrous thing about truffles, they speak more to your nose than your palate; it is confusing enough to the brain that you only think you are tasting what you are smelling, but if you taste very carefully you will see the flavor has little to do with the smell.

Next we had the potatoes stewed with chorizo, another classic Spanish dish. Chorizo is one of my favorite meats of all time, and this chorizo was no exception. The menu claimed to braise the meat and potatoes in Sherry, but I didn't taste any here. What I did taste were exploding flavors of very fresh, piquant paprika and smolderingly earthy, cumin. The flavors were phenomenal. These are two flavors that die in our kitchen cabinets in the United States, as our paprika is weak and our cumin stale. Preserved in the chorizo it held its flavor from table to mouth. What I didn't taste were the potatoes as they were so starchy they didn't want to stay on the fork. I would suggest using small yellow potatoes with the skins on or making crispy potatoes out of the russets they are using in the dish.

But alas we are to the finale and what a finale it was. I'm no sucker for things like, "vanilla scented" or "red wine and demi glace braised"; in fact I'm jaded from all of the bad "vanilla scented" sauces I've experienced outside of a pastry or dessert. THIS is the "vanilla scented" to kick all of the other "vanilla scented" sauces out of the water.

I'll leave it up to the waiter to explain; "Red wine and Demi Glace Braised Short Ribs with Butternut Squash Ravioli and Vanilla Scented Cream Sauce." I almost didn't order it because it is THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER. But my dining partner had stopped by earlier in the evening and smelled the short ribs a braisin'; so she asked to have them included in our tasting.

I’m glad she did otherwise I would have left the restaurant less than enthusiastic. I probably would have written this review like Frank Bruni wrote about Harold’s restaurant last week..."eh, ‘tis okay." But now I can boast that the most perfect dish I've eaten was consumed at a little unassuming wine bar that only recently got its license.

The first bite is always the best, and I'm glad to have savored it like a chocolate truffle. I cut a ravioli in half, scooped some short rib on top and laid it on my tongue. It melted right then and there and I went with it. Forget about the sunglasses inside, this guy is my new crush! It's like he knew that I, personally had been offended by so many "vanilla scented" sauces that he sat out to make one that I would approve of. And approve I do.

I think I'm in love...with the meal of course.

.:tt:.

The Simpsons Movie Premiere

2007-07-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

So I know people who know people. I don't actually know people myself. Except for the people I know, and then I know those people. But these people I don't know personally, I know people they know personally.

That being explained, I went to the Simpson's Movie Premiere last night and it was a lot of fun. Lot's of "B"-list-ers sitting all around, young hipsters, and old grumpy execs that were pissed that they were sitting in tiny seats with the rest of us hoodlums in the back of the theater. It was hard at times to hear the movie for the broken egos falling to the floor.

I walked the red (yellow in this case) carpet. People looked at me like, "Who is that? She looks familiar..." (It's because I am blond and thin and look like everyone else in LA. But the natural nose and small-ish boobs give me away every time..."oh she's nobody.")

I sat in the hellishly small seats and waved at people I thought I knew, turns out they were childhood stars and hipster-friend look-a-likes. I do that a lot in fact. I say "hi" to people I think I know, turns out they were on my favorite show or movie when I was a child. It's so embarrassing. There was stale popcorn (free, how generous) and extra small sodas (also free) which made me laugh because it just seemed ridiculous to have a party for Hollywood and for there to be NO WATER. My favorite part of the whole night (besides two other favorite parts that I will get to) was the cell phone debacle. It said very clearly on the invitation, "NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED" for fear of pirating the movie. It couldn't have been clearer. But everyone in Hollywood thinks they are above the law, and there was a line for miles of idiot execs that had to pick up their cell phones from the valet after the movie.

The movie started just on time, an hour and a half late. The movie itself was a lot of fun. Again, this isn't a kids show--just because it is animated doesn't automatically mean it is for children. Just like Hanna Montana is not for adults you sickos. I cracked up at the really inappropriate parts (jokes about black being the worst color)...and seemed to be the only one laughing. The jokes that really got the crowd were the old-school, Homor-esque (as in Simpson, bien sur) hilarity that always gets that animated man into trouble. Bart was sweeter than I remember him. Lisa catches a break, and Maggie saves the day. Flanders has a big role...and so does Jesus. There are jabs at religion, intolerance, and political figures and the EPA that make the Simpson's legitimate.

Moving on to the after party.

The food was crap. The party was fun though. I was introduced to the man himself, Matt Groening (he is who the people I know, know-geddit?) and his good friend Gail Zappa. I met his gf with the same name. And then we sat down waiting for him to come to the table. He never made it. Rather we ate pink doughnuts and drank Duff beer (Tecate) and watched the shortest men in Hollywood vye for Matt's attention. Women were flirting. Dogs were bowing to a man that probably 10 years ago couldn't get a date. Ahhh...that's Hollywood for you.

I sat and talked to one very kind Gail Zappa the whole night, trying my best to figure out if her Zappa was THE Zappa (yes). She tried to find her daughter Diva Thin Muffin to introduce us--seems we are the same age. Then my companion CP wanted to go see the dance floor on our way out. As I told her under no uncertain terms was I going to dance with the 12, drunken men that were on the floor writhing as though they were in a movie themselves; she turned on a dime straight into a man that looked oh so familiar, "you look like someone I know...."

"I'm Larry Birkhead."

"Oh."

.:tt:.

Foodie Fashion: Lessons from Top Chef

2007-07-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

Remember last season of "Top Chef," where Padma Lakshmi's stunning good looks were often overshadowed by her blindingly tacky and inappropriate outfits? From Victoria's Secret clearance-bin satin camisoles to booty shorts and undershirts, Padma had it (un)covered. Christ, it was bad. I wondered if being a fashion model had rendered her incapable of choosing clothes when left to her own devices, or if she was the victim of a particularly vengeful Bravo wardrobe mistress.

Padma's only foolproof outfit?

Whatever the answer, the problem has been very nicely remedied this season (thank god--I couldn't enjoy the cooking and drama as much when Padma's ensemble was making me shield my eyes and whimper). Either Padma or the wardrobe lady has stopped drinking to excess, and has instead come out this season with some flattering, fashionable and even subtle (!) getups for ole P-Lak. Nore more shiny ruffled cleaveage-baring rags! No more workoutwear! Instead, neat little tailored tops and pencil skirts...lovely dresses...and even a hip little pair of skinny taupe jeans with buttons at the ankle, worn with a loose white tank and navy men's vest. This may be my favorite (it's also bascially what I wear every other day, though surely plus a few hundred dollars retail value). Huzzah! My "Top Chef" viewing companions can now watch in peace, instead of listening to my shrieking about clothing the whole time.

Well...I still shriek a little. Have you SEEN what those contestants wear under their chef's whites?!? Casey (the Jennifer Aniston lookalike) generally looks like an American Eagle Outfitters ad, which, compared to her colleagues, practically makes her Kate Moss. Last episode Lia, I believe, was called in because of her poor-quality dish--and no one mentioned the unspeakable quality of the sarong/pants/tie-dyed monstrosity she was passing off as pants below her white jacket. The appetite this show generates in me was GONE as soon as I saw those...things. EW. And let's not forget the questionable tee shirts worn by many a male chef on past and present seasons. The worst offender may have been Sam, who had that horrible shirt that he wore like evvvvvery day that said something really lame on it...okay, I don't remember, but it was really bad and he thought it was badass. I could go on and on, but the point is that chefs do not seem to get enough hours outside of the kitchen to see what real people actually wear. Hint: NOT SARONG PANTS.

So we now have as this a given: The only chef types who can dress genuinely stylishly that I know of are Padma (now) and the lovely .:tt:., who causes much envy on my part with her flawless collection of Blahnik, Balenciaga, Marc Jacobs, et. al. Based on that data, our deep and meaninful conclusion for today is: Chefs can't dress, unless they started their careers as international fashion models. Can't, uh, bake your cake and wear it too.

> r r <

Algabar, A Tasting

2007-07-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

There is a new tea house in town, Algabar Home and Life. It is one of the most beautiful places you will step your two little pieds. It is co-owned by my friend Gail Baral and her business partner Robb Wain, and is truly a classy place.

Gail knows her tea after having traveled to China and Japan on many occasions, she makes the best cup of tea I've ever had. If you stop by the shop, she will ask you a few questions and brew a special cup just for you while you browse. If you have tea questions (does it have caffiene, brewing temperatures, or even recipes for tea cocktails) she will be happy to oblige.

I attended the first tasting that was held at her store jointly with (alas!) my favorite preserver/chocolate canner/syrup making purveyor, Robert Lambert. The food was exquisite, composed by chef Crispin Kitto and menu designed by Kim. The event was just lovely, and everyone involved is quite talented.

I have been working with an importer to develop recipes with her products and the product that I have included in almost every recipe is, of course, Roberts. Today I offer my favorite recipe thus far.

Brioche French Toast with Blood Orange Glazed Foie Gras

1 whole Cardamom Pod
1 Egg
2 T Cream
2-3 Slices of day old Brioche, 1" thick
10 oz Foie Gras, sliced into scaloppini’s (1/4" slices)
Robert Lambert Blood Orange Syrup
Mascarpone, whipped (optional)
Raspberries,
glazed with a little bit of the Blood Orange Syrup
Butter for frying

- Beat the egg with the cream and then grate 1/4 tsp of the cardamom
into the mixture. Pour in 1 T of Robert Lambert Syrup and set aside.

-
In a hot sauté pan, melt some butter and caramelize each piece of foie gras on
both sides.

- While the foie gras is caramelizing, heat another
sauté pan to medium high heat. Once it is hot, place some butter in the pan and
dredge the brioche through the egg mixture. Cook the pieces of bread on medium
high heat until caramelized on both sides.

- While the brioche is cooking, pour in Robert Lambert's Blood Orange syrup (enough to cover one side of all of the pieces of foie gras) and glaze the scaloppini’s for 30 seconds.

- Plate the french toast and place the foie gras pieces on top. Dust
with a little powdered sugar and serve with a dollop of whipped mascarpone
and raspberries tossed with a little of the syrup.

This is not low fat. In fact if you have heart issues, this is the dish that will stop the blood flow. This is the dish to eat before you fast. I would like to think Gandhi ate a plate of this stuff before he stopped eating. I would like to think it but am sure he didn't as Gandhi would never eat foie gras.

This is the meal I would request at my hanging.

If I could only eat once a month, this is the dish I would eat.

If I had to come back as a meal, this is the meal I would come back as.

Please eat responsibly (like perhaps with a glass of champagne).

.:tt:.

5% Celery Granola

2007-07-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

I was checking through blogpatrol.com and noticed several links to 5% Celery from an archive in Chocolate & Zucchini. Upon further investigation, it seems my cohort has given away our secret recipe for our granola. Since that part was given up, I thought it would be kind and generous to give up the rest of it. Now, there are measurements written somewhere, but I am a professional chef, and I cook according to taste. I do not have the exact measurements, so do me a favor--play a little. Put a little of this and a little of that...if it tasts good before it is baked, then it will taste amazing after it has been. Also, know that it will be less sweet once baked, so if you find it pleasingly sweetened before, you might find it a bit less so out of the oven.

5% Celery Granola:

2 C Oats

1/2 C Pepitas (salted is fabulous)

1/2 C Sunflower Seeds

1/2 C Almond Slivers

1/2 C Dried Currants

1/2 C Dried Cramberries

1/4 C Flax Seeds

1/4 C Melted Butter

1/4-1/2 C Agave

1/4-1/2 C Honey

2 tsp Vanilla Paste or 1 tsp Vanilla Extract

pinch of salt

Preheat Oven to 350 F and line a baking sheet with a Silpat.

Melt the butter and add in the honey, agave, salt, and vanilla. Mix well and put aside to cool.

Take the oats, sunflower seeds, almonds and pepitas and put in a large bowl. Pour cooled butter and agave mixture over and mix well.

Put on baking sheet and spread out evenly. Bake for 15 minutes and take out and mix the edges toward the center and mix in the currants and cranberries and put back into oven and bake until it is golden brown.

Once cool mix in flax seeds and enjoy in a smoothie, with milk or on a hike in Colorado where the real "granola girls" roam.

.:tt:. and >rr<

Keffi-huh?

2007-07-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

I've been getting requests for a more in-depth lecture on the "fringe-y Arabic-y scarf things" I mentioned as being so popular with the youngsters in London and New York. Turns out they're called "keffiyehs" and are "generally white, square, cotton cloths that are wrapped around the head in various styles, but many have a checkered pattern in red or black stitched into them. The black and white checkered style became especially well-known during the 1930’s as a symbol of Palestinian nationalism, and continues to be associated with Palestinian political sympathies." Observe:

Let it be stated here and now that I predict the imminent arrival and subsequent overuse of the keffiyeh in the L.A. scene (not that I'd mind; I think they look kind of neat). Hey, if Colin Farrell's doing it, LiLo can't be far behind....

I would go into the cultural and social implications and questions raised by the use of a religious garment as a fad, but this post on the (CRIT) design blog does it for me. Personally, I don't find it offensive to use something that's traditionally religious, if it's not used offensively. I.e., if wearing the keffiyeh is saying only "these scarves are like so rad" or even "I support Palestine," in no way is that negative. So my own personal panties are by no means in a twist over this one. But remember how my store decided it was too controversial to sell them? Apparently, Urban Outfitters ran into the same problem. Interesting.

> r r <

Cannifaux.

2007-07-15T10:47:00.001-07:00

Oh those Asians. They slay me...

click the picture for the story.

.:tt:.

Quote of the Day

2007-07-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

Overheard at my fashion school bookstore. Two 18-ish girls in very high heels, to another one:

"We gotta go--our new furniture is being delivered to the apartment."
"Oh exciting!!! Did you really get the leopard sofas?!?"
"You KNOW we got the leopard sofas."

Now you know, too.

> r r <

The RR Report: London & Paris

2007-07-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh, gee whiz, after plowing through my buildup of e-mails from my past 10 days in Europe, I'm afraid of how coherent I'll be (or not) here...but still, the show must go on, non?

LONDON: STYLE
I was expecting to go to London and be bowled over by everyone's sheer coolness (see: Ms K. Moss). I even *almost* went as far as to purchase a way avant-garde strapless silk jumpsuit for the trip, just as an attempt to compete on UK sidewalks (sadly, despite the jumpsuit's being the last of its kind in the store where I worked and my never having requested a big discount before, my boss refused to give me any extra % off and I couldn't afford the thing. I was so annoyed; it had been too long for Monica Keena but looked most excellent on me since I have a good six inches on ole Monica). BUT! BUT! It turned out that it was money well un-spent: while your average hip kid on the street did look much more put-together and sharp than your average American shlub, I found soon that their getups were awfully cookie-cutter. Skinny jeans--REALLY skinny--, big hi-tops, raggy tops...eh, too unremarkable to remember more details. The less sharp ladies were often decked out in painfully bright colors (my boyfriend remarked on the incredible frequency of hot pink), the ever-horrifying tracksuits, Hot-Topic-esque accessories and loads of makeup. The guys fared a bit better--the cool ones in their slim jeans and scarves are pretty decent--but the chavs are just as unfortunate as their big-shorts-&-caps-wearing allies over here. Then there were your most forgettable folk, those many passersby who seemed to have zero understanding of their own body shapes and what might be flattering. Or NOT. God, so many too-tight tops and ugly capri pants. Ughhhh. Oh right, before I forget, the one big trend I noticed was those raggedy fringed Arabic-y neck scarves. EVERYone and his kid sister wore them. My boss came back a few months ago reporting that all the overseas hipsters were rocking the scarves, which apparently have by now hit New York. They have yet to really make waves in L.A., save for a few visionaries, but I do know they were pulled from my store for fear of being "too controversial."

PARIS: STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What can I say? Every time I'm in France, I'm basically entranced every time I walk down the street. It seems as though everyone, from teensy kids in leather sandals to very old ladies, is gorgeous. It's not that everyone is literally shockingly physically attractive--though they're certainly far above average as a nation, lucky willow-framed jerks--but more that they all seem to naturally embody an easy, effortless grace and, well, chic. Seeing these flocks of girls in their slim-but-not-skinny jeans, sheer wrinkled tops, soft blazers, ballet flats (very few heels in sight), and Charlotte-Gainsbourg-like long flyaway hair made the carefully constructed, colored and laquered hipsters of London seem instantly paint-by-numbers. And the boys were all perfect in their slim slouchy trousers, tennis shoes, cardigans and jackets. But not in an artful way--no, just as if they were born knowing that corduroys go with twill and jeans go with cardigans, and shorts aren't even acceptable topics for consideration. Oh, and the old people! The most stylish, adorable old men and ladies. When they carry baguettes wrapped in paper, I can hardly stand it. Anyway, after all this, I couldn't help but pick up a wonderful Marni top (Italian designers are cheaper in Europe, plus it was sale season!) before I left.

I took this photo set in the Musee d'Orsay, to epitomize the difference between your average French girl, not trying to look cool, and your average British tourist girl, not (I hope) trying to look cool:

Myabe I should've just put those two pictures and left out the whole gabby description. You can see what I'm saying here.

So yes--while London is lovely, and I ate some terrific meals and saw some fantastic theatre (Gorky's "Philistines" was especially memorable), Paris is paradise, where everyone is beautiful without Vuitton or facepaint, and all the coffee is good, and the phone books have listings like these:

> r r <

Meme, Meme, Meme...

2007-07-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

We were tagged. THIS apparently is a good thing. We are not rude at 5%Celery, in fact we are quite generous--but this was a little bit difficult to bring ourselves to participate in. I mean, we love the free advertisement it brought (thanks Foodette!) and it's not like we don't like talking about ourselves. So we decided to participate like the gracious hosts we are. So with no further ado, the seven things we most would like you to know are:

1) .:tt:. was scolded as a child for being too thin. It was proposed that she was anorexic. She finally confessed one day it is because her mother was a bad cook. It turns out a lot of chefs learned to cook because their mothers couldn't.

2) >rr< has a serious case of chef wannabe-ism. She devours (ha, ha) all those chef-memoir-&-recipe books (see: Ruth Reichl, Anthony Bourdain, Jamie Oliver, et al), keeps mental to-do lists composed entirely of restaurants to go to, and feels like a bad person because she only actually cooks a few days a week. However, while >rr< is only a wannabe in the food department (perhaps because her mother and stepmother are actually quite talented cooks), .:tt:. is not only a real chef but also a total pro when it comes to looking permanently stylin'.

3) .:tt:. is (usually) single (depends on who's asking) and >rr< is not, and can barely remember having ever been.

4) >rr< got her start in fashion by cutting up thrift-store tee shirts, reconstructing them and selling them on the internet. True story.

5) 5% Celery really did start over several margaritas and a lively conversation with friends about how the world needs less celery...it's true. And yes, our conversations are ALWAYS that deep.

6) If on a deserted island .:tt:. would take: Her computer (with a wireless connection, bien sur), a Brent Black Panama hat, Eric Ripert's cookbook, A Return to Cooking and Ryan Gosling.

7) >rr< would bring the entire Marni collection, Neutrogena Sheer Mist sunscreen for her blindingly pale skin, and a copy of Infinite Jest (no, not because it sounds clever, but because it's really good and really, really long--by the time she was done, she could start it all over again and have forgotten the beginning). She'd also steal .:tt:.'s internet connection to read Go Fug Yourself daily. And she wouldn't need food...that's what her co-blogger is for.

Now, we would like to tag the following bloggers:

Ana Calderon of Ana Says these Things
Leah and Zulu of The Charming Life of Zulu
Pomotrash of Black Candy Modernism
k.cooper-kordylewski of Hoping For Happy Accidents
jt and cn of Violations Bureau
Sam and Fred of Becks and Posh Nosh
Perez at Perez Hilton

Apparently the rules are to let the person that has been tagged know it. Okay...we will.

.:tt:. and >rr<

Minestrone Soup

2007-07-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

One night last week I was hungry and bored (whoooo meeee?) so I decided to cook.

See the thing is, I cook for a living--and I complain that the worst part of the job is the grocery shopping, so I will go to great lengths to keep from shopping on a day off.

It happens that I am housesitting for a client of mine who has the most fabulous vegetable garden (equipped with an English gardener!) and also a new Mario Batali pot that needed to be broken in.

So I went rummaging and this is what I came up with:

Mediterannean (the other coast) Minestrone Soup

1 pkg of Minestrone Bean Mix

Green lentils, any mixture of canned beans (white, red, black eyed, split, etc.) rinsed and Farro

2 boxes of chix stock (if using dry, less if using canned)

Tomato Paste

pancetta, diced finely (optional)

1 spring onion, diced finely

Herbes De Provence (thyme, rosemary, bay, lavender, fennel, marjoram)

swiss chard, chopped into 1" squares

Verjus (optional)

Garlic

2 preserved lemons (I use Robert Lambert--I writhe with pain if I can't)

S & P tt (to taste)

saute the onion and pancetta in soup pan (I usually use Le Cruset)

add tomato paste and herbes de provence and mix well

pour in chicken stock and minestrone mixture

cook until done

in seperate pan saute garlic and swiss chard in olive oil

deglaze with verjus and cook for another minute

season to taste

cover pan and turn off heat

chop the preserved lemon into fine dice

place the swiss chard into a bowl and cover with minestrone soup

garnish with the preserved lemon and serve

.:tt:.

Apple

2007-06-30T12:51:00.001-07:00

I just started a food writing thing. (note to self, "thing" is not a descriptor).

So I'm posting my first...um...thing.

About an Apple

An apple crisp in my mouth is as satisfying as any steak. My teeth bite through the flesh and the fruit gives way to juice and meal. Held in my hand, I eat hurriedly and worry I might bite a thumb or finger as I work my way around the sphere.

I prefer apples brought to room temperature, neither hot nor cold as to not scour my teeth—I like to keep myself out of it when I’m eating. A good piece of fruit, a vegetable rich in flavor, or a piece of meat cooked to perfection will transport this diner beyond her physical self. This can cause problems as she would like to stay there—but alas her belly fills to the brim and her body cries to come back.

I come back and find one more bite left; I'll make it fit. The last bite is not as good as the first, for I’ve already satiated my urges, but the juice of the last bite drips down my chin and catches the eye of my dining partner. He steps forward to help and whisks me up in a deep, fruity kiss, satisfying both of my appetites.

.:tt:.

Cooking Is Easy

2007-06-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

Even a Monkey can do it.

.:tt:.

EEW Number Two

2007-06-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

Celery STRAWS!

Soon, they are going to start engineering celery forks, celery plates, and celery couches!

How are we going to keep up our promise of 5% Celery >rr<, how?

.:tt:.

Top Chef, Episode 3

2007-06-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

First let me start by giving you a secret.

If you can't cook, this is not the season to be on Top Chef.

These people can cook! They have knife skills, they know the product and they are good at executing the dishes. This year staying somewhere near the middle isn't going to cut it.

My friends are always trying to get me to go on Top Chef, and since I'm more of a behind the scenes type, you will probably never see this head of messy blond hair on your flat screen--but if there were a season that might make me rethink that, it's this one.

It is fascinating to me that all of the contestants this season are either chefs or sous, yet they make things that cause Tom Colicchio to gag; "inedible!" Mostly though, he seems happy with the food that is presented, and might even be taking some ideas for his own restaurants. (I think he has a thing for CJ, I wouldn't be surprised if you don't see CJ running the show someday at Craft LA).

This week, I was impressed with all of those folks that know how to cook conch. Look, conch is a regional thing, so those that are not from the Atlantic South or the Indo-Pacific Oceans, probably have never even handled the gastropod (check meeeee out). I knew about this much about conch, "ewwww....it's gross." Otherwise, I've not cooked it myself, and have never had to use a tool to get it out. But I'm gonna go with my gut here, if they've made a tool, it's probably easier than trying to break the shell...MICAH. I mean it doesn't take much to look around and see that everyone else has a tool that looks like a crooked chisel, it must have a use!

The "reinvention" elimination was surprisingly difficult for this group. Season one would have rocked that challenge, and perhaps this season's chefs are less creative than the other two seasons. The challenge certainly showed the limitations of this group, and my advice is to sit down with some cookbooks at night and do some studying, because the weakness has been revealed, Top Chef exec's aren't gonna let that one past them.

So far I'm batting three for three. I knew Micah was going to go. If all goes as it has been, Hung, Brian, Tre, and Howie are gonna be the last to go. CJ, Camille, and Lia better kick it up if they want to move out of the middle.

This season ain't easy--the middle of the road is not the safe spot this time around.

.:tt:.

Mrs. Jagger in London

2007-06-28T16:03:00.000-07:00

WELL!

No sooner do I read in InStyle about how white wedding suits a la Bianca Jagger's are again in vogue (she wore the iconic one, a supremely low-cut jacket and trousers, with a fabulous white hat) do I receive an invitation to join her for dinner. No matter why--let's just say that while she may once have been known for this:

and for looking like this:

and for causing people to say things like "Remember the night Bianca Jagger rode into Studio 54 on a white horse?"...

she's now quite the international human rights activist and political figure. I tried to talk fashion with her for a moment, and she quickly steered the conversation back to Nicaraguan government. As she should--that's clearly the more pressing topic, and I'm really in awe of the woman now for refusing to sit back on her popstar laurels and instead really making a second career about something other than herself.

Also, I'd be amiss in leaving out the restaurant. Even trusty Toscana, Italian landmark of Brentwood, doesn't turn out delicacies like the shoestring zucchini fries we started with at this place (Sandalini or something--I'll have to fact-check that one), the cheese-filled zucchini blossoms, handmade pasta, and the startling fruits scooped out and filled with gorgeous sorbets at the end. They say the Brits aren't really foodies, but the past few days here have proven more than otherwise.

In the immortal words of middle-schoolers, TTFN...I've got to pack for Paris.

> r r <

The Oinkster, A Review

2007-06-27T10:16:00.001-07:00

I picked up a bottle of wine.

Pulled out my handy, traveling corkscrew.

Grabbed a couple of paper cups and a pulled pork sandwich and visited heaven for half an hour.

It was good.

Yep. It was.

.:tt:.

The Foundry, A Review

2007-06-25T17:56:00.001-07:00

I wanted to love it.

Then they lost my reservation and I just wanted to like it.

Then they gave my dining partner and I the best seat in the house (in front of the kitchen) and sent two glasses of champagne and showered us with attention and amuses.

So I should have loved it.

Eric Greenspan has made his name about town first with Patina and then with the short-lived, but much discussed, Meson G. The Foundry is his own baby, and only a month old, it runs rather well (in spite of the reservation debacle).

The servers are passionate, the hostesses are friendly and helpful, and the bartenders are happy to pour samples. From my vantage point the line is on fire! It looks like a high stress kitchen, quiet--not rambunctous, but busy and stressful just the same. I'm not sure why, but in my experience whenever that happens the rhythm is off, and sometimes it is due to one cook that doesn't understand the dance of the kitchen.

Eric's menu is startingly similar to another restaurant I've dined in recently--but no matter. If the food is good, then the food is good--and I'll be happy to eat pork belly every other day if done well.

It wasn't. The pork was good, but the sauce and the ravioli were bland.

The gnocchi were undercooked on the inside and perfectly caramelized on the outside. The sauce added nothing--not even flavor.

The prawns were nice--and well cooked. It seems whomever is on the seafood station is doing well. The fish was cooked very well and nicely seasoned.

I figured out where the salt on all of the other dishes went...into the sauce on the chicken. Though the chicken was cooked well, the sauce was too--TOO. The greens were cooked nicely, but again everything tastes as though it has nothing to do with one another, as though they were all just meeting for the first time and in front of the pickiest eater in LA. Some of the items stood in the corner by themselves, having never met seasoning or salt; the grits were especially shy.

Don't get me started on dessert. Two measly quarter sized doughnuts (at the cost of $10.00) thrown onto a 4x4 inch square plate isn't dessert. It's an afterthought. The afterthought tasted good--but my eyes definately went hungry.

I believe they will get it down. The other restaurant down the street with a similar menu should be thanking their lucky stars for such a good kitchen staff. That is what sets these two restaurants apart. Over the next year let's see what happens shall we?

.:tt:.

Disclamer #1 and #2:

A.) I will visit again in a couple of months--because sometimes it takes a couple of months to get a shipment of salt.

B.) My friend Jase visited the next night and he LOVED it.

Ew, Ew, Ew...

2007-06-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

CELERY Jell-O?

And someone paid $11.00 for it!?!?

EBAY Link.

What would YOU make with it? Let us know. Whomever comes up with the best idea, DOESN'T get a box of this s*&^t.

.:tt:.

Quote of the Next Day

2007-06-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

Three young women, in the store, on a 3-week vacation to the States with their parents. One of them seems in a total flashing-eyed funk. She hisses to a salesgirl:

"We can't take any drugs! I haven't taken any drugs in two weeks!
None!" The salesgirl replies, "Well, just think how fun it'll be when you
get back." "I know!" she squeals, "I'm going to take so many drugs. It's going to be AMAZING."

Amazing.

> r r <

Quote of the Day

2007-06-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

Overheard in the store: a tall woman in her late 30s, I'd say, who was talking to her companion about having dogs.

"I think she's going through a, like, digging phase. She seems to have a lot of
aggression--I got her a twelve-hundred-dollar rug last month, and she's already
chewed a hole in it."

Tough times.

> r r <

Top Chef, Season 3 and Top Chef All Stars

2007-06-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

I’m going to kill two birds with one stone; take it all in one bite. Top Chef and Top Chef All Stars aired at the same time in my household, since Tivo is my life’s source.

As you must know by now, Dave (from season one) is one of my dear friends, and so of course I was rooting for his team. I recently visited Dave in NYC where he is there opening a restaurant (UPDATE: he is working on a new project, all very hush, hush—will inform you as I know details) and he was stopped on every street corner. People LOVE Top Chef! And best of all, people love Dave. He is a good guy, and wildly funny—so the editing and the pressure from the Top Chef execs was at play in the building of his personality. He knew going in that he was, “the gay one.” He also knew without saying, he was the “funny one” too.

That and the drive to win and the other difficult personalities make for great TV. Otherwise would we all watch?

Season one-ers have all made nice; even Tiff and Dave. Stephen, turns out, is a really nice guy. Harold is dealing with a lot of pressure trying to open his restaurant. Life after Top Chef is not wine and roses folks. Suddenly a sous is catapulted to a fame that he/she didn’t expect and knows that this is the opportunity to make something out of him/herself. Every chef is aware that we can’t work as hard as we do in our 20’s and 30’s so it is important to find a source of income that will sustain us into our retirement age. We are all looking for that golden egg, and Top Chef will be that egg for some.

Now on to season three. I’m impressed with the cast this season; they all look like good cooks. I think Tom (as in Colicchio) may have had a hand in it…something like, “you cast another season like season two and I’m not coming back!”

He’s back—they all are; Padma and Anthony and the like. And the token gay is back, the asshole and the hot girl are all in residence. My favorite is the token “tall guy”, CJ—I’ve worked with him in the kitchen and he is good. And a total babe to boot—and last I knew girls, he is single (or at least I hope he was…)

The opening was fabulous on TC—they messed with ‘em real good, but does anyone else feel like TC should be sitting suicide watch? I must admit that my soft side has been a little worried about Clay. I hope he is well, and knows that being judged on Top Chef is not the same as being judged in the kitchen—I’m sure he is a fine chef, and years ahead of him to prove it.

.:tt:.

Lanvin Top Man Discusses Haute Couture

2007-06-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

I just read a fascinating interview with Alber Elbaz, the genius designer behind stunning fashion house Lanvin (whose Paris outpost I can't wait to visit next week--its window displays are works of art), in which he wonders about the future of aging couture houses in a modernizing world:

New York Times's On The Runway Blog 6/17/07

Make sure to scroll down and read comment #17. It really skewers fashion in the United States, and makes me realize what I'm missing by studying here instead of in Europe. The artistry is often so secondary to the marketing in this country; that assumption and the fall of true envelope-pushing creativity are taken for granted here, but not everywhere else.

> r r <

This Is Why, I'm a Chef

2007-06-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Because I'm the sane one in a world of crazies like this guy:

(click on picture to find out why.)

.:tt:.

Buy Stuff, Cheap!

2007-06-15T13:28:00.001-07:00

I have more of note to write about when I have the chance, but for now, I'll just highlight today's retail musts:

Sale at Opening Ceremony!!! This is absolutely the most happenin' L.A. shop and I'm scheming in all kinds of ways to sneak out and hit the sale today. It goes all weekend, but I don't want to wait. I'm interested to see their pieces from the Kate Moss for Topshop collection, which has gotten insane hype but, in my opinion, ain't nothing to write home about. Kate looks hot wearing it, but she'd still look hot in mom jeans and a big Hard Rock Cafe Cancun tee. The clothes themselves are, as one NYT writer said, simply copies of pieces in her closet. I did read an article that chronicled her designing the line, and it did seem that she truly designed them carefully. So perhaps they do fit well and are nicely cut. But they're still crappy little shiny dresses and stripy pants. A girl who works with me used to work at Barney's, and when they got the line in, there was a queue around the block. Everything was gone within 2 hours. One woman--get this--even FLEW TO L.A. FROM LONDON to get the pieces she wanted, because they were sold out all over the U.K. All this, for a line that my coworker reports is stuff that you'd expect to see at H&M. Trendy, sparkly, but nowhere near couture. Yet, somehow, Kate Moss as a brand name is so powerful that the line not only generated hype, but enough actual public desire that individual items priced at US $300 (after import markups) sell out in minutes, despite a lack of actual quality or subtlety.

In any case, for actual posh designer goods, check out Satine's giant 50% off sale online. Cheap Mondays are on sale for $32! Insane (in the membrane) (insane in the brain).

Shorts Are Suddenly Deemed Cool

2007-06-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

I remember back in eighth grade when May rolled around and I hit Filene's Basement with my mom to get some new shorts. I think they were by Z. Cavaricci, they were very short, they had zippered pockets, and I thought they were way hot. Then whenever I wore them to school, this horribly snarky girl named Clio, who had bright yellow bleached hair that clashed badly with her bright pink face, would sing the "who wears short shorts?" song at me. I still thought they were hot, but in hindsight, they might not have been the best idea. If not slutty, shorts generally have been considered Way Dorky in the past few years, until the advent of Formal shorts and Long Shorts a year or so ago. Now Dame Fashion has gone beyond those categories and returned to normal ol' casual shorts, somehow sprinkling her magic Vogue sprinkles on certain pairs to make them gleam with chic instead of frump. I'm not saying that they're randomly classified as cool when they used to be dorky. No--dorky shorts are still dorky, but some designers have come up with new tweaks to make shorts flattering and interesting, rather than horrible and hi-I'm-going-hiking-with-my-boyfriend-who-wears-socks-with-Tevas-and-a-CamelPak.

My personal epiphany that shorts are cool started not with the fashion magazines' proclamation (which did occur, but I didn't believe it), but with this pair of Isabel Marant shorts (above). Look how COOL they are. Slouchy yet tailored, big yet they make your legs look long and lean, thick linen that's still lightweight, pleats that somehow add cool volume without looking like your mom's Dockers...genius, Isabel. Sadly, they cost $400 or something. So I kept them in my little mental shrine as I looked for more attainable options.

These Free People shorts were a good jumping-off point. A little crunchy-granola, but still neat with the pockets and the cuffs. Flattering for the stems, I think. And I noticed they've gone on super sale at Nordstrom (clicky the pic! [God, $44.99 is now cheap for shorts. The shorts Clio commented on cost about $12 at Filene's Basement, I think.]).

I happened on these James Perse long shorts at Nordstrom, thought they were the answer to my search, but then tried them on and saw that they tapered in a weird way and made the legs look not-so-nice. And then I saw the price tag, which was also no-so-nice. But I still like the idea of long shorts with the slouchy tailoring.

7 for all Mankind did a cool denim short that has volume and neat details without being too ass-expanding or too girly. They could be formal or casual depending on the shoe and top. I hate 7 jeans--they're so ubiquitous now on girls standing in line outside of lame West Hollywood clubs--but these I like.

The Final Fantasy of Shorts showed up, believe it or not, in the store window at Express. Somehow I can't post photos, but here are similar ones on the website. They have pleats and volume and cuffs and good butt pockets and they would never cause Clio to yell anything at me. Fingers crossed that the shorts pendulum doesn't swing too far anytime soon, because I got two pairs for the price of one and I intend to wear them basically constantly. Thank god I don't work in corporate.

> r r <

Stars & Spirits: The Latest

2007-06-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

Helloooo, boys and girls! Granny RR is here today to dispense some invaluable wisdom. If you haven't gone to church this morning, the next best thing is the church of 5%C.

The Celeb Update:
Friday was a great day for me at the store. I was very popular. Not only did several friends stop by, but at one point, a salesgirl came back and said, "Uh, Rach, do you know Jenna Elfman? She wants to see you." No WAY. This must be a mistake! So I go out, see the very adorably pregnant Jenna, and she lights up and goes "Oh HI! TT [who works down the street, where Jenna had just been shopping] said to make sure and say Hi to you!" Awesome. We had a little chat, and I managed to keep myself from shrieking, "Dharma is the greatest!" She was a sweetheart, too.

The Music Update:
Listen to Pavement's "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" on Sunday morning. Good idea. I think anyway.

The Food Update:
Elderflower Modified Mimosas. Combine champagne, St. Germain elderflower liqueur and pineapple juice. Hot damn, girl, that's a winner.

> r r <

(Waist) Size Matters

2007-05-30T20:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Hump Day (eve), everyone! Personally, I celebrated Wednesday by finding a great little vintage cotton shift at Wasteland that I plan to take in a little and wear over skinny pants with girly shoes. Sort of like, oh, a twentysomething Madeline with pants. I followed this great victory up with some remarkable plain-yogurt flavor gelato and blood-orange sorbet at Milk, which I've been eyeing every day on my way home from work. Another time I'll try the fab-looking salads and soups, but after a long walk in the sun, I had to go with the coldest options.
Anyway, the point of today's rant is not to extol the virtues of upper Mid-Wilshire, but to get all serious and discuss the skinny-war-disease so rampant in high fashion. When I first started working at the shop, I was shocked at how constantly everyone discusses food: how hugry they are, how much they've eaten so far, how gross they feel if it was too much (i.e. I'm So Fat), how starving they are if it wasn't enough (i.e. a veiled I'm So Skinny), what they ate last night, what they want to eat now but shouldn't, what they should eat in general, what other people eat, and whether we're all getting fat (or thin, depending on who's complaining) as a result of working there. One girl got a rousing chorus of disbelieving laughter when she revealed that she "doesn't eat salad." Now I've gotten used to it, and it's not as bad when people aren't too stressed, but I still have to remind myself constantly that eating is a normal human activity and food is rather important to one's functioning. That the occasional scoop of gelato is good for the soul, and implies not weakness, but simply great taste in desserts.

Now, I thought my coworkers went overboard with all the food chat. That was until this week, when a new chick was added to the staff. What's really sad to me is that she is more senior than any of us, yet is the most nervous and intent upon impressing us via 5th-grade-style indirect implications about her thinness. I shudder to think what inappropriate response she'd have if she knew what I'd happily consumed at Milk. It's funny, but not, and leads me to make these Highly Obvious Suggestions for People Working With Other People, Especially In A Fashion Environment Where Image is Generally Important to People:
1. Upon hearing in passing that a colleague wears a size 25 jean (a very, very small size), do not respond with "Really? I'm a 24! I wouldn't have guessed you were bigger than me!" Especially do not do this if the truth of your statement is dubious, thanks to the skintight leggings you've chosen for your first day on the job. It's not just bitchy, it's ridiculously immature (calling to mind the girl who, in 8th grade, said to me "You're really 104 pounds? I thought you were thin....").
2. Do not, while eating your Whole Foods salad for lunch, loudly and frantically announce that normally you would never dream of eating that tiny glob of pasta salad you've got, but that you just had to eat a few calories after that 4-mile walk you took. It's not only weird, but sad. We won't think you're a fatty for eating carbs; we'll just think you have issues for defending it.
3. Do not, do not, do NOT point to your coworker's Trader Joe's salad and cry, "Omigod, have you seen how many calories those things have? Seriously, look on the back--there's like 100 grams of fat in that." Especially do not do this if you're totally wrong and the entire salad, upon inspection, has a measly 350 calories. What on EARTH is the purpose of this comment? Are you seriously telling the slim and gorgeous woman eating the salad that she better watch her dressing intake? If you're trying to feel better by making other people feel fat, you kinda fucked this one up. Oy vey, child. Look, you've got me calling you "child" and I'm ten years your junior. Though, hey--maybe it'll make you feel thinner.

It's just interesting to see how much further the skinny-war craziness can go than what I'd experienced. When my size-25 colleague heard the above comment, she replied, "I need to go back to New York; we don't talk about sizes there." Is that true? Is it L.A. where this kind of thing rears its ugly head most publicly? I don't know--I did read The Devil Wears Prada, and god knows the narrator beat us over the head with the fact that all her colleagues were calorie-phobic and eager to say so. So is THAT true? Or does it just depend on which sector of the retail industry you're in, no matter the city? Do all y'all who don't work in fashion hear this malarky all day long around your water coolers, too?

> r r <

Harry Potter Jelly Beans, A Taste Test

2007-05-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

Alan waited for me to try most of them--but he just had to taste bacon and rotten egg. I knew bacon would be gross...but I had no idea rotten egg would be so literal. The taste of sulfer stayed around long after the egg ripened.

Moving on the dual taste test.

We started with black pepper. I knew this has possibility, but I wasn't expecting to down right LIKE it. It's fabulous!

Next we decided to try something gross and we moved on to booger. I expected sweet boogers and I got sweet boogers. It was a spit out.

Afterthat we tested soap. Soap tasted like rose soap. YUCK--but not too yuck. Quite sophisticated. I finished it.

Earwax came next. This was a surprise. We discussed the actual taste of earwax and determined that it is bitter. Earwax jellybeans however, taste like cardomon and vanilla. I think someone might have joked that it tasted like "earwax of an Arabic grandmother."

We tried dirt next. Dirt tastes like dirt. But god made dirt, so dirt dont hurt.

We had to take a breather--and after half an hour or so, we tried grass and then earthworm. Grass was fine, but secretly I was hoping it would taste like pot...you know "hey man you got some grassssss"--it didnt'... But that's a million dollar idea right there--POT JELLY BEANS.

Earthworm was WEIRD. It tasted like hybiscus tea. But Alan nearly lost it--and had to spit it out. Apparently the earthworm jelly bean doesn't taste like hybiscus tea, hybiscus tea tastes like earthworms.

And finally vomit. No really--I didn't vomit--I ate vomit. It reminded me of something...I couldn't quite put my finger on...

And then it came to me...

"College!"

.:tt:.

YUMMO

2007-05-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

This is something I could wrap my mind around.

official press release here.

Geddit? In Japan only.

.:tt:.

It's That Time of the Month.

2007-05-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

I once heard a fabulous minister tie in three moments in time that seemingly had nothing to do with one another; it was nothing short of brilliant. He took the record-breaking number of deaths in Iraq (that happened to fall that week), the murder-suicide at Virginia Tech, and the profound rains NYC saw one week before the sermon. Seemingly these were all random moments in time that had a profound negative effect--but had nothing to do with one another other than the fact that they were all big bummers (not a direct quote btw).

The sermon was not about the list of three, but about willfull ignorance. Those three things are happening because of actions (or in this case, inaction) that we have taken.

So let's see if you can find the pattern in these three things:

1) Rachael Ray's publicist wrote 5%Celery to ask us about advertising a new product.
2) Kombucha Wonder Drink wrote us and asked the same.
3) Someone googled "celery of an accountant" and found 5%Celery.

If this were a game show I would introduce the segment with, "things that are stupid."

Has Rachael Ray's publicist read these pages? The request is for a new phone service that she will offer--you can get Rachael Ray ring tone that says, "Yummo!" when your favorite aunt calls. Furthermore you can get recipes for "stoup" and "sammies" right on your phone! Imagine the possibilities! You'll be the hit of any store that you happen to be in at the moment Rachael rings in with "Yummo".

Kombucha Wonder Drink was the brand that we DIDN'T recommend. I actually have never had Kombucha Wonder Drink. Maybe I would like it--but the issue is that I've never even seen the product on the shelves. Maybe they should work on stocking it and not worry about marketing a product I can't seem to locate.

And what does "celery of an accountant mean"? It is a similar mistake my 5 year old, money driven, brother made.

"Seth, what is your cat's name?"

"Celery because I want to make a lot of money when I grow up..."

It took me a few moments to realize that he meant SALARY.

I'm curious, how much celery does an accountant make?

.:tt:.

"Hills" Fashion? Umm...

2007-05-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else catch this headline news back on March 7?

MTV Networks and Lauren Conrad -- the star of MTV's popular series "The Hills" -- today announce the first-ever celebrity-inspired digital fashion line to be introduced in the Virtual Hills virtual world.

Yes, that's right, good ole LC designed a line of clothing. And it doesn't surprise me that it's a line for digital avatars--when the girl tries to design for real people, it's a train wreck. When she tried to do a line for Sienna Miller in my sketching class last fall, it was laughable. Come on, man, if you can't dress Miss Miller, who CAN you dress? Oh wait--I guess that's what happens when MTV pays a girl who never wanted to be a designer to change her major from business to fashion design. Silly me. Silly MTV. They're working it, though:

The introduction of Lauren's physical and virtual world fashion lines takes the concept of personal expression to new heights for a generation of viewers who take their online persona as seriously as their real-worldpresence. Reflecting the casual yet smart aesthetic of her real-worldattire, the virtual clothing line inspired by Lauren will make its debut in Virtual Hills (http://www.virtualhills.mtv.com), where fans will be able to buy clothes with in-world currency. As Lauren continues to design her real-world line, she will look for feedback from virtual world patrons to help tailor the styles that make their way to boutiques later this year, a benefit of her close relationshipwith fans in Virtual Hills.

Good luck, Lauren; from what I've seen, most of the feedback left by your faithful Virtual Hills fans consists of, "I lvoe the hills it is great i think stephen and his gf should get married. are you getting back with jason lauren?" No wonder we've heard nothing since March about her "in-world" (good lord) clothing line. Also, the problem with designing clothes that look like the clothes you already have is that you can't sell them to the stores where you bought the original ones in the first place. Damn!

Sorry, I'm getting distracted by idiocy. Onto the more recent news: not only can you dress your virtual Bev-Hills-crawling avatar in LC-inspired clothes... you can now do all your real-life shopping at MTV as well, with the SeenOn! MTV Store!!!!! They sell outfits inspired by episodes (example: the charming number at right.) So basically, you can now live THE MOST AWESOME LIFE EVER: watch "The Hills" on TV, hop online to reenact the episode in fake Beverly Hills with a fake character who you made hotter than you, plunk down some cash for fake clothes for fake-hot-you, and then, when your evil mom finally makes you leave the rec room and venture outside the house ("fresh air," your ass), you can do it WEARING TOTALLY FABULOUS CLOTHES JUST LIKE LC AND HEIDI AND WHOEVER ELSE, that you ALSO bought online WITH MOM'S MASTERCARD! Omg omg the hills ruuuuuuuulez!

*Note: Look how wrinkly LC is in the photo! She really is that wrinkly. Tanning kills, kids.

> r r <

Sure...

2007-05-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

(click on the picture for the article)

.:tt:.

The Little Door Next Door, A Review

2007-05-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

My what a beautiful little place that sits there on 3rd street next to Doughboys. My dining companion and I were annoyed that we couldn't find parking close, so we nearly passed up this opportunity to go for a quick visit. But alas, I claimed New York legs, so I was happy to walk a few blocks (besides Satine was on the way and I have some credit on file). We arrived at Little Door and Little Door Next Door and stepped through the doorway into another world. I'm a fan of fantasy dining, anything that makes me feel like I've taken a little vacation outside of my big, dirty city is alright by me.

The Little Door is a full scale restaurant, while the Little Door Next Door is a more casual version of itself. Sort of like Friday Jeans versus Business Attire. Or lunch versus dinner.

The first person I ran into was Suzanne Goin. She looks amazing (she recently had twins). She asked me what I was going to order and I admitted that I was visiting for the first time. She also had not been before.

Unfortunately I had consumed some yogurt (really good yogurt) and chicken salad three hours before, so I wasn't up for much more than Prosecco.

My dining companion had the smoked salmon sandwich and a glass of iced coffee. We were thrilled with the service and the people watching. It is clear that people come to sit for hours while enjoying the French/Mediterannean influenced menu.

It is not an inexpensive place to dine, but it is very good food. The sandwich was full of flavor and the side salad, though quite boring looking, was outstanding.

I'll go back for a more full review. In the meantime, you will not be wasting anything to try it yourself.

.:tt:.

Martha Stewart Copped Out

2007-05-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

I try to stick with themes. This morning, the theme that arrives time and time again, are wine glass tags.

Wine glass tags are just as they seem; little markers for the wine glass so that it doesn't get mixed up with another guest's wine glass. I thought to myself, "who puts their wine glass down?" But then it became obvious to me that when one ducks into a closet for a quick snog at a cocktail party, most people put their glasses down. It then occurred to me that you have just exchanged a lot more than spit--so why the shy behavior suddenly? BUT then I thought further and realized that it may come down to philosophy; HIS glass may be half empty.

First it started with a perusal of an old Martha Stewart Magazine. Someone requested "smart and simple" ways to make wine glass tags. The first mistake was to assume "simple" thought I. But Martha disappointed. She suggested buying silk flowers with the bendy stems to wrap around the glasses.

EWWW. Doesn't that seem a fright? I can imagine a rose growing up the side of your Burgundy and tickling your mustache.

Then I saw these, and suddenly the flower seemed downright avant garde!

I remember the good old days, when it was appropriate to drink out of "red cups" and you could just Sharpie your name on the side. Those were simpler times.

I'm not even gonna talk about these.

I've been wracking my brain to come up with a better idea. And then I had it. We've lived centuries without wine glass tags--therefore WE DO NOT NEED WINE GLASS TAGS.

As I always say, keep your wine glass close and the wine bottle closer.

.:tt:.

NYT Agrees With 5%C

2007-05-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

If the New York Times Style section says it, it must be true. Therefore, their agreeing with my recent assessment of Diet Coke Plus means that I AM RIGHT, and boy howdy, do I ever like being right. Just so you can see how the NYT is totally mackin' on my style via interviews with actual people:

Anne Slowey, an editor at Elle, still recalls the best [Diet Coke] she ever
had, near the Great Wall of China. “If I want the Diet Coke of my dreams, I have
to go to Beijing,” she told me. But Diet Coke Plus? It rubs her the wrong way,
as it does many. “I just don’t want someone mixing vitamins in with my vice,”
she said. Especially if you can taste them. The other day, Ira [the
author's husband] popped open his first can of the stuff. Ptooey. “I don’t
care for the aftertaste,” he said. “It’s like having a sweater on my tongue.”
With that he ceremoniously poured it down the drain.

Take THAT, health.

> r r <

What?

2007-05-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Champagne has added sugar?

I have done a lot of research on Champagne (particularly tasting research) and I've never known that sugar is added right before bottling.

This Champagne doesnt.

Ayala owned by Bollinger, is placing a sparkling rose on the market that does not have the added sugar known as "dosage"; the equivalent of three level tablespoons of liquid sugar. It is used to balance flavor, but Ayala has found a way around it.

Ayala claims that the dosage is not necessary if the fruit is perfectly ripe.

The difference? An average bottle with the dosage is 534 calories with the new wine coming in around 390 calories.

This means one thing to me; I can drink ONE more glass. Any opportunity to drink one more, is alright by me.

Ayala Cuvée Rosé Nature

.:tt:.
Read the whole article here.

What the Chic are Swigging

2007-05-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

Have you yet seen the tall bottles of kombucha staking their claim on large areas of shelf at Whole Foods & associated yuppie vegan stores? Do you know anyone who swears by the stuff? Have you tried it yourself, or even reached the ultimate stage of the pyramid and declared yourself addicted? Several months ago I hadn't even achieved Step One yet, and somehow I now find myself at about Step 3.5 (drink it occasionally, wish for it often). How did this happen? I started working at a chic boutique with ladies who are ahead of the pack not only in fashionable clothing, but in fashionable foods and, especially, drinks. Fashionable drinks? Seriously? Oh ho, my friends, absolutely. Every once in awhile, a new beverage comes along that makes special claims that somehow vault it not just to popular status (e.g. Vanilla Coke) but to exclusive status. It's not sold everywhere, it's not drunk by everyone, and it's very probably expensive. Before I get into the complex cult of Kombucha, let's take a little trip down memory lane (or creek, if we want to be liquid about it) and remember couture drinks of yore.

<--OK, perhaps not exactly couture. But in my first grade class, anyone whose mom let them have Yoo-Hoo in their lunchbox was TOTALLY cool. And look, it even had special claims way back when!

Voss Water came along and perhaps was an originator of the luxury beverage boom. It was really expensive, came in an impractical glass bottle, and somehow imparted major class to anyone carrying it. Was there ever even a special claim? Or just the claim--its value not to be underestimated--that it was really expensive? I know Voss is still around, but it's not a big deal anymore. And I think it's actually gotten cheaper.

I remember when VitaminWater was the new hip thing. Kind of like when Boca Burgers first came around and were so magical because they were meatlike but not meat. And now there are like 827364 kinds of veggie burgers, and you can get Bocas at Burger King. So much for cache. Same thing with VitWa. They're trying to stay cool with new VitaminEnergy, which I'm sure will be popular enough among the pseudo-health-conscious, but still not exclusive enough to qualify as a boutique bev. The way I can tell? VitWa vending machines are everywhere and it's always on sale at CVS. The kiss of death? See below:

And who could forget the recent pomegranate craze? Started off with Pom Wonderful juice that Whole Foods mommies splashed into their San Pellegrino to ward off the plague. Pom then tried to get portable with these highly impractical ("reusable!") glass Pom Teas (perhaps thinking that if it worked for Voss, why not Pom?). I think the bev-toting elite tried to embrace it, but it just didn't fly. Now that pomegranates are in everything from hand lotion to smoothies at 7-11, the glamour is gone.

Which brings us back to the modern day and the reign of kombucha. When I first started working here, the girls introduced me to it by saying "it tastes bad, but it's super good for you!" I tasted a little in a paper cup, and I actually liked the stuff. Mainly because it tastes like organic cheap champagne, and I dearly love cheap champagne. This is because it's fermented with some kind of magical culture thing--which, BTW, looks like a giant scary mushroom blob. As for health benefits, "No clinical studies have been performed that demonstrate any specific curative properties of kombucha, but anecdotal reports suggest protection against cancer and other ailments." The bottle says that the maker started marketing it after his mother cured herself of breast cancer with it. If you want to get down and dirty, here's some deets: "Advocates believe kombucha works by assisting in the phase II liver detoxification pathway, leading to efficient elimination of endogenous and exogenous bodily wastes." Delightful. In addition to lots of different acids and enzymes and stuff, kombucha "also contains vitamin groups B and C, beneficial yeasts and bacteria." Mmm, beneficial yeasts! Anyway, it comes in various colors (all organic fruit purees added to the kombucha mix) and for sure fits all the specifications for a boutique bev: cures cancer, is brand-specific (my cronies drink only this kind, Organic Raw Kombucha, rather than competitor Kombucha Wonder Drink), is only sold at froofy health shops, and empties your wallet with one blow ($3.39 each! For REALS YO!). I see this one sticking around for the long haul--it's just gotten started.

A Look To The Future:

Now, I'm not sure if everyone's seen the clearly-aimed-solely-at-women ads for new Diet Coke Plus, or if non-Angelenos are missing out (since they're still in the regional testing phase [and god knows L.A. is the obvious place to introduce such a product]). If you haven't, let me sumamrize: Coke is trying to hop on the beverages-as-health-aids wagon, perhaps trying to neutralize the utter toxicity of their product (not only is aspartame questionable, but caffeine is addictive [duh] and leaches calcium from your bones [not duh, but scary and true] AND the carbonation ALSO leaches calcium from your bones. Annnnd tons of women drink liters of it a day. In a few decades we're all going to need multiple prosthetic limbs.) So yeah, I guess I can see the reasoning in trying to add at least a little nutritional value to Diet Coke, but I'm not convinced that it'll have enough cache to be the new Kombucha. And I for one am not even going to fool myself into drinking it for health; no, no, I'll stay old school, hardcore, and drink my toxic chemicals with glee and without pretense of any benefits. Whatevs--I'm sure I'll be OK if I chase it with a little Kombucha.

Cheers!

> r r <

[Note: for an interesting overview of the beverage market, drown yourself in this report.]

Sous Vide, a Primer

2007-05-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

My mom had this idea a long time ago. She saw this machine on the Home Shopping Network (we were in a hotel and there was NOTHING else on) and she ordered it. It was this narrow machine that reminded me of a white Knight 2000 grill (I had to Wilkipedia that; apparently the onboard computer was named Kitt--NOT the car). It was not much bigger than a three-hole punch. She had this brilliant idea to put chicken in the pouch with seasonings (I recommend parsley, garlic, lemon, thyme and rosemary) and then would freeze it and boil it when she was ready to eat. To me it sounded gross. I come from the school of "color equals flavor" (so to speak), so a boiled chicken breast is about as unappealing as eating dough after its second rise.

Then she read something about plastics putting off carcinogens when heated to a certain level--that was then end of sous vide in my house. The debate is still on, but that hasn't stopped the trend from reaching our restaurants. Sous vide literally means "under vacuum". The method used by chefs is much more refined than my mother’s sous vide pot roast; cook the flesh at a low enough temperature that the texture is not compromised. In fact it is a texture that we can't get with our traditional methods of baking, poaching, or sautéing.

In culinary school we are taught to cook thin slices of meat (and high protein meats) at high temperatures. This ensures the meat will be cooked evenly and will retain its juices. In sous vide cooking there is no where for the juices to go but back into the meat--so the result is a finer texture and a juicier piece of chicken.

But the machines cost 5 grand and the New York Health Department has nixed the process by explaining that there are rules about chicken reaching the designated 165 degrees (the temperature at which salmonella can no longer live).

Don't get me started in on the salmonella debate--it's the FDA's lack of regulation that our food supply is so diseased in the first place (google the term "fecal soup" and have fun).

As with any fad or trend I roll my eyes, but the possibility of eating rhubarb that looks raw but is neither stringy nor crunchy has my curiosity peaked. Imagine what salmon that has been cooked for an hour at 100 degrees will feel like in your mouth! Imagine the flavor--a chef's job would be to baby-sit the meat (insert your own joke here).

.:tt:.

Pretention of the Day

2007-05-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I certainly understand that there are faux pas in the kitchen (i.e. using pre-peeled garlic, cooking with iodized salt, or overcooking the tuna) but this is ridiculous:

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/food/story/0,,2075380,00.html

I dare you to go into your favorite neighborhood restaurant and ask for their leftover lobster shells. Write me and tell me how that goes down.

.:tt:.

A Very Good Article

2007-05-16T08:40:00.000-07:00

Here.

August, A Review

2007-05-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

I'm on a roll. I haven't been to a bad restaurant in awhile (except Cafeteria in NYC--but that was quickly canceled out by the next stop--Rosa Mexicana--more on that later).

This restaurant was recommended by my friend Chris who was a chef in the city. Okay, I must clarify. I use the word "friend" with people I like, sometimes I jump the gun. He is a friend of a friend. But that's a mouthfull. Anyway, this post isn't about me (they all are) it's about the food (that I ate).

On my last day in NYC I visited my favorite part, the West Village. I don't know why it took me until then, but I was busy hanging out on 5th Ave (read: shopping). I came to find the restaurant, August and grab a bite to eat before the driver took me away from NYC kicking and screaming.

I found it. It was closed until noon--but I was STARVING. So I went to another restaurant, St. Ambroeus. I walked in and asked for a table for one. The server headed off to fetch me a table (the restaurant was half full) and NEVER CAME BACK. So I sent someone else off. THEY NEVER CAME BACK. So I left. When I got back to August they were open.

I did the LA thing and sat at a table in the middle and talked on my phone for the first ten minutes. But they didn't bat an eye. The very nice server brought me a fabulous glass of wine and I ordered the hamburger.

Soon an older couple, I would learn they were from Texas, walked in and sat near me. Not sitting near someone in this tiny restaurant is difficult--it is small and romantic. We all chatted about food and suddenly another diner came in--to fill the place. A very pretty little baby looked up at me with huge eyes, and I followed her gaze up to the pusher of the buggy and it was my friend's family! New York is small this way. I ran into people all over the place. I love that about the city.

My food came, and I dug in. I was sure my request for "medium rare" would become something closer to "meduim well"...but it was perfectly cooked! Maybe that seems simple to you--but too often focus is on flavor and not how well the product is cooked. This had both. I know it was a simple burger--but the best burger I've had. If I were to open a restaurant it would be like this tiny little place; filled with warmth and chatter and everyone feels at home.

.:tt:.

Table 8, A Review

2007-05-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've not posted a review lately. And this review, I should confess, is NOT AT ALL UNBIASED. If it were awful I couldn't say it was awful.

Luckily for me, it wasn't awful, but alas, I can't say it was awful because the Executive Chef is a friend of mine. Of course they may become friends with me because they know I'm a sucker. But I will also admit that I'm a snob and wouldn't be friends with a bad chef. So what I'm trying to say is that my word is still golden.

I entered and said to the maitre d', "Hi I'm .:tt:. and I have a reservation." His eyes lit up and he said, "Oh Govind's friend! Welcome!" See? It's fun being me!

We are ushered to the bar and enjoy a couple of glasses of prosecco and a few chef's amususes. We are amused indeed. Chef comes in--a handsome gent that is famous for being great looking. He's not cooking tonight--he's just back from Miami (where they have placed another Table 8). He comes to our rescue, as we have booked on the busiest night since they reopened. He snaps his fingers and a table opens up.

One of my dining companions brought a nice bottle of wine, so we start with that. We order the first and main course at the same time--which a good restaurant should be able to pull off...most in LA can not. How hard is it to hold the main course for 30 minutes?

Let me tell you some observations that made the evening; first the staff understands that a good evening happens when everyone is having fun. So there isn't a table? Offer good food and wine and company until there is a table. But my favorite thing of all? There were three of us, and all of the courses came with the main ingredient in sets of three. Three pieces of duck, six scallps, etc...I've said it before--the dining room should always accommodate the client--if there were four scallops who would get the last one?

So I'll get down to it--the food is so elegant and tasty--there was nothing to complain about. The Chef de Cusine (runs the kitchen in that particular location--the Executive Chef oversees all operations of both) is Jason Wildman.

We had the Chorizo and Clams, Seared Scallops and Braised Veal Cheeks to start. All very yummy--it's hard to say which was my favorite--but if I HAD to choose, I would say the Veal Cheeks.

I loosened the belt and settled in for a main course. The chef stopped by the table to see how things were going and realized it was time for more wine. At this point--my head spinning from lots of wine, food, and attention I don't remember what we drank--but it was good.

The main course came after we digested a little--not too hurried. For this course we enjoyed the Lamb (and I told my lamb story--have I told you yet?), the Duck Breast, and The Pork. It was all fabulous--I even liked the lamb!

Dessert was a creamy and delicate panna cotta and warm cookies. More wine and some coffee. And the night came to a close. Well sort of...

.:tt:.

Order Govind Armstrong's book here. Really. Do.

Disaster of the Day

2007-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

I hope I don't need to enumerate why these make my stomach hurt. But just in case:
-pajamas sold as streetwear
-nasty hearts
-thigh labeled "Juicy." Is this our new goal for thighs?
-PRICE OF $110. GOOD LORD PEOPLE. Have you no better use for large amounts of cash?

I want to ralph. Time for a little of this:

> r r <

Izakaya, A Review

2007-05-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

Sushi.

Fabulous lunch menu.

SOOOOO GOOOD.

GO THERE.

DO IT.

.:tt:.

Scantily Clad Chicks (PIX!)

2007-05-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

Even if my bathing suit is used more for lounging on the rooftop of the Standard than for actual swimming in the nearby Pacific, that still didn't stop me from deciding recently that my 4-year-old J. Crew number wasn't going to cut it anymore. This was less because the bikini was worn out--no, no, it's still fine--and more because, as an American, any garment more than 2 years old seems ancient and dated. Besides, being bombarded with shopbop.com emails and newspaper inserts insisting that getting prepped for summer necessitates a new piece of Spandex doesn't help any. I've resisted the urge for the past 4 years, since I have honestly very much liked my little Japanese-print suit, but now that I work in retail and am surrounded by Those Chicer Than I constantly, the urge to update was too strong to resist. However, since my credit card and I can't bring ourselves to fork over the $200-plus that the really nice bikinis cost these days (and yes, I've checked Target--nothing doing, unless you WANT to look like a high-school girl on spring break), I had to do some research.
Usually I think that the bathing suits available for ladies are generally heinous, tacky and unflattering (especially if your bust isn't--how to say this?--really suited to fill out giant bra cups). Manufacturers make the assumption that we females are all giant 6-year-olds who want pink heart beads swinging from our straps and nasty little ruffles adorning our bums. So I was anticipating a pretty fruitless search. I mean, look at this one from Victoria's Secret:

Seriously, who likes this stuff? A top that looks like a bra--and not a pretty bra, but the bra that you wear under a thick tee when you're going to the market and you don't want to get your nice bras dirty for no reason. And this is what now they want you to wear on the outside, at the beach? With a MINISKIRT? Victoria's Secret is actually showing a ton of these skirty things, which I think is a shockingly bad idea. Even this model looks dumb, and she's got a hot bod. Imagine wearing this if you were someone who actually were looking for coverage--small bra, big skirt, oh dear. If you don't want to show your butt, wear little cutoff shorts over your bikini bottom, OK?
But you know, I have to apologize to the swimsuit world out there, and say that I underestimated you. This kind of horror is not all that's out there. Not only did I quickly find a great bikini that I could afford and even wear, but I also found a bunch of others that made me wish I lived on the beach so I could justify needing them too.

Victoria's Secret, I have to hand it to them, is totally killing it this year in terms of basic nice suits for cheap. There are a lot of awful ones, but also nice basics like this yellow one (which, I think, is a far better way to wear a bandeau style than the normal way, with no straps or center straps that make your boobies sag. Yuck.). I saw Cameron Diaz's assistant at my store the other day, and she was grabbing up all the bandeau bathing suits she could find. Now that I think about it, Cameron always wears bandeaus. She can pull it off because she's shaped like a 2-by-4, but even if she's not in danger of popping out, I still think it's a really unflattering thing to do to your upper body.

One-piece: if you're not lucky enough to have found a vintage one-piecer like my black one (which I really want to figure out how to wear around in public), the next best thing is this Calvin Klein suit. Calvin Klein bathing suits always look the same, and they're always gorgeous. Look at this! The princess seaming is so perfect, the bust shirring is ideal; it's probably the most flattering skintight garment I've ever seen. Damn.

Triangle tops: eh, I dunno. Check V.Secret again if you're dead set on triangles, but they're just hard to get right. If you're too little, you look like you're wearing a training bra (see Target top at left). Too busty, and you look, well, like you belong on a movie set involving a fluffer (V.'s S., right).

The best of all possible worlds: halter tops. Flattering and won't let you down (literally). The suit I decided on is from Stella McCartney and looks sort of like this one, except olive green. I love it, not a little because I found it on sale. Stella McCartney is one of my current favorite designers--everything she does (except for maybe the weird trash-bag vegan belts) is brilliant. Check out her current line--I want everything except for those weird little babydoll tops. Seriously, it's all beautiful, and just as people try to get a little bit of Marc Jacobs's chic by wearing his perfume even if they can't buy the clothes, I feel a little closer to Stella's dream world with my little green bikini. Plus, Stella for Target prices (actually even better than Target) = unbeatable.
Now onto the next summer "necessity" (newly deemed necessary; formerly deemed the domain of kids and Abercrombie fans): SHORTS. The fact that I went so far as to try on a pair of James Perse $145 shorts should say something (about the rise of shorts' cool factor this season, and about my slavish capitulation to fashion)...the report will come soon.

> r r <

1OO!

2007-04-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

One hundredth post, and it was done in conjunction with my favorite city. And my favorite glass of wine. And my favorite new drink. And in my favorite underwear.

I'm so sorry I've been gone. I have missed you 5%Celery. I have.

I do bring gifts with me though.

First a prediction: The "new" hot (as in faddish) thing will be yellow bell pepper sauce/soup. I'm just saying...my ESP is telling me. Quote me on that. Write it in your calendar. I've said it. I stand by it. Wait and see...

Second: I've found the best Bloody Mary ever--and it has about 5% Celery content. It is at a great little (and by little I mean to say there are FOUR, count them FOUR in Manhattan) place called Sarabeth's in the Upper West Side (and in three other locations around the city). Anyway, it is absolutely the place to go for three things:

1) Bloody Mary's with 5% Celery
2) Preserves with NO celery!
3) Pumpkin muffins...I'm not gonna make a joke about these. They are really good.

This is a teaser. I have intention to "talk" your ears off about my journeys as of late.

Thanks for listening, and remember you heard it here first; yellow bell pepper sauce--the wave of the future.

.:tt:.

Pinkberry: The Scoop

2007-04-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

I know, that was a hideous pun of a heading, but you'll have to deal since it leads you to THE REAL TRUTH ABT: PINKBERRY YOGHURT <--(much more fun spelling than the American way). I hereby allow you access to nutrition info and secret tips! Ooh-wee!

[Intro: Everyone in L.A. knows that Pinkberry's spreading like herpes around these parts, and though I'm usually not a huge fro-yo fan--if you want ice cream, for god's sake eat ice cream--a reputable source told me it was "my kind of thing." So the other day I was heading back from the accountant's office for the store where I work, which entails a harrowing drive all the way down Highland from Burbank, and when I finally hit Melrose I spied a Pinkberry. I was starving from my strenuous drive, so I pulled a quick U (my signature move) and got in the queue. How impressive is it that I know how to spell "queue," by the way? I totally got it right the first time. Damn. OK SO SO SO I got my yoghurt; 'twas a plain flavor with blueberries; I adored it; 'twas v. sour and delectable and fantastic; yes, a small size is more than enough; yes, fruit is fresh and marvy, etc.]

REAL DEAL info (OOH-WEE):

-->Nutrition Facts--> While there is much myth and legend surrounding Pinkberry's health benefits and calorie count*, the plain facts are:

-The yoghurt has 25 calories per ounce.

-A small serving is 5 oz; a medium is 8 oz. For those who failed fifth-grade math, a small has 125 calories and a medium has 200 cal. Obviously, add on whatever berries/cereal/junk you put on top.

*Take, for example, the theme song that plays on the PB website: "..I don't feel like I'm cheatin'/ when I'm eatin' it...it's like a dream/Take that, ice cream...." Whatevs, you ARE cheating when you're eating it...cheating on your true love, ice cream.

--> Speaking Of Toppings!--> According to denizens of P-Ber (like Restaurant Girl, who details her fave combinations), in addition to the normal toppings, you can get MOCHI on your yoghurt! She even goes all hedonist and orders extra mochi without even using yoghurt as an excuse for them! What lines we can cross here! What boxes outside of which we may live!

--> L.A. Locales--> Koreatown, Larchmont, Bev Hills somewheres, Los Feliz, Melrose, Studio City, WeHo, West Olympic, & Westwood. Otherwise, you kin git yer fix at 3 shops in New Yawk Sittee. Speaking of sittees, remember that Harvey Danger song, "Flagpole Sitta?" Anyone know what in tarnation a sitta is? Gangsta talk for "sitter?" Why would you need a sitter for a flagpole? They're so well-behaved.

HAHAHA FROGHURT! I want to be in a froghurt frenzy.

> r r <

Fashion Week/end

2007-04-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

First of all, mad props to my co-conspirator for her lovely Bloom menu last night ("lesser half?" Only in height, my dear.). The food was creative yet still very Vietnamese, and the sharp grapefruit sorbet was seriously inspired. And as for the design element, since that's my realm here, we actually noticed how well-designed the restaurant was--pleasing minimalist environment and neat proportions (high tables with tall chairs, high ceilings, potted trees, big spacy wall designs). It was exactly what Beau and I agreed we'd have expected from looking at the invitation; i.e. Bloom is doing a bang-up job of branding itself. Look at what those marketing classes have done to me--I'm all talkin' like a G.D. ad exec.

In other news, I know I've been brief and sporadic with my updates-that-are-really-just-celeb-sightings, but I've been insanely busy with my new full-time job as head of sales and promotions and junk for this boutique's online store. It's far more hectic than I'd imagined and my to-do list gets longer each day. It's been consistently interesting, though, and there's tons of dirt I'd love to spill here (Nicole Richie drama! etc!) but am too paranoid to actually transcribe. But oh gosh--SO MUCH INTRA-OFFICE DRAMA.
Seriously SO MUCH! None of it really involves me, though it's hard not to get sucked into it. Suffice it to say that when my New York boss came for a weeklong visit last week, her intense vigilance ("she's looking so hard over my houlder she's practically riding piggyback) brought things practically to a breaking point. Now she's back in Le Apple Grande, but hardly away; today I spent ungodly amounts of time going through her hundreds of photos from Paris Fashion Week, rotating them all 90 degrees, and burning them onto CDs to be FedExed--Priority Overnight--to her apartment. It was almost sad, going through these scads of not-yet-available-to-the-public garments from Stella McCartney (like the dress below), Pierre Hardy, Chloe, and god knows who else, but not being able to register the gorgeous things flicking past my eyes because I had no time to stop and take a look.

Let's just say, though, that we've hardly seen the end of babydoll/empire/loose dresses, and that "sacklike" is definitely the word du jour for fall. There are also some wicked glossy pumps with platforms in front, notably from Stella, that will catch everyone's eye come summer (when, naturally, the fall collections arrive in stores). Does anyone really still shop ahead for a season? I know that I basically buy as I go, with an item or two each month as I can't hold off any longer; I'd never, though, attempt to buy it all at the start. What if styles changed and I'd guessed wrong? What if everyone in the universe had what I'd gotten, and I ended up feeling like the equivalent of a girl wearing a micromini and Uggs who walked through the USC campus? I can't imagine anyone in this era buying a season at a time. Except, perhaps, ladies like the ridiculously refined woman I've been helping with her store orders. She sent her request for an exchange on heavy, embossed monogrammed cardstock. After my usual countless e-mails back and forth, I could barely believe that someone had actually picked up a pen to write to me (surely, in this case, a gold-nib custom-made fountain pen). Naturally, she's from Alabama and has a totally stereotypical Southern-belle name. Those girls from down South--wish I dealt with more of those instead of legions of harried New York chicks.
Speaking of Southerners, I've been carrying on quite the correspondence with LeAnn Rimes. She thanks me every time I send her a note! Aww. How very very. Better than Mischa Barton, ungrateful wretch...she wandered into the store yesterday, completely blitzed-looking (the salesgirls barely recognized her), stumbled around for a while, and then left without trying anything. So perfect: most people, when stoned, eat some Tootsie Rolls or watch TV and laugh at things or maybe go hug trees. Mischa Barton, when stoned, goes shopping in West Hollywood. Love it. Oh, and to be dutiful, I should report that Heidi Klum is really beautiful in person. I always thought it was a little weird on Project Runway when they'd dress her up in vaguely S&M clothes, and I only agree with myself more after seeing her close up and admiring how...wholesome she is. Like a healthy, radiant German princess. Which is, I guess, basically what she is. I'll leave you kids with that now; I have a launch party for Kobe Bryant's new Nike sneaker to attend.
> r r <

Woah

2007-04-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

For those of you that came out to see 5% Celery's lesser half at BLOOM cafe--that was amazing! I mean really, do you know that I alone brought in 60 peeps (we did 95 covers!)! In that little tiny cafe. For Vietnamese food! Impressive.

Thank you so much--I mean really...

Bloom Cafe is a great place to be--everyone is so helpful and you can practice your french! They really were all great professionals and sweet people and fun--I think all restaurants should work that way. Check it out.

And another place that Im not sure I have mentioned is Lou wine bar in Hollywood--my friend DJ Olsen is the chef--and it is really great.

Okay, that's enough for one day--i've gotta go to work!

.:tt:.

Holy Crap

2007-03-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

BUTTER CUTTER!

LOVE IT.

(the all caps just goes to show.)

.:tt:.

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are...

2007-03-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

Gap/Ferragamo: Double Vision

2007-03-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else gotten confused when flipping past print ads for The Gap and then for Salvatore Ferragamo? I have, because both of them feature very simple shots of Carmen Kass* wearing neutral taupe- and cream-colored outfits against a golden tan background. Seriously--did she know that both these campagins were going to look like this? Shouldn't she have alerted at least one about the pre-existence of the other?

I'm not sure whether the resemblance is going to be detrimental for Ferragamo, beneficial for Gap, or negative for both of them because of the failure to identify uniquely. HMM--a matter that, surely, none of you care about. Oh, well.

> r r <

*In case there was any doubt, I think Carmen is one of the most gorgeous models out there. I couldn't find pictures of either of the ad campaigns, so I put up this great one of her playing chess. Brains are, like, beautiful.

Rachel Bilson is Cute.

2007-03-23T17:53:00.000-07:00

I See Stars In L.A.
Today I went out to the front of the store to check on a dress for a customer, and I noticed a petite girl trying on my very favorite things in the store: these incredibly gorgeous Buttero boots. I can't find a photo anywhere, but they're flat boots with a slim, wrinkled high top, made out of the softest finest leather you've ever seen & so delicate they practically don't have soles. Yeesh. I want I want I want. Anyway, so I see this girl wearing them and I can't help saying "Oh good, those are so beautiful!" She looks up and laughs, and it's the truly adorable Rachel Bilson/Summer Roberts from The OC. Shopping with a few friends and talking just like ole Summer herself. I always like her style when she's photographed in magazines, and the fact that she beelined for my fave boots confirms her excellent taste. Good going, little (very little) lady.
Later I picked up the coffee she'd left behind on a table, and thought to myself as I carried it to the trash, "If I were a different girl of a different mind, I could totally touch the cup rim and thus have only 2 degrees of separation from Seth Cohen's lips." Fortunately, I'm not that girl.

> r r <

Donatella!!1! oh, and some other stuff.

2007-03-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

News flash: one of the salesgirls from the front (I'm at work) just ran back here to the office, whisper-shouting "Donatella's here!" Donatella. Versace. Yes. The head salesgirl started flipping out and trying wildly to get rid of the salad she was holding so she could run out to the floor--"Somebody take this! Take it! Oh god!"--since she was suddenly unable to muster the wherewithall to put it down herself. Naturally, within 30 seconds I found an excuse to trot out there myself, where, indeed, the little leathery lady with the blinding platinum hair was reigning the scene from atop her big black stilettos. Chattering in Italian to her raggedy/anorexic-looking accomplice and then adding more and more to the pile of things waiting in the arms of the fluttering salesgirl. Her voice is very deep and she looks totally, insanely, like all the pictures in the magazines. Love it.

In more useful news, there are some neat happenings coming up in L.A.:

BUY
Sample Sale
What: Loads of Vanitas dresses, N.Fem. basics, Wilen knits, and Morgan Oakley handbags priced wholesale and below.
When: Sat., 11 a.m.-3 p.m.
Where: 7600 Melrose Ave., at Curson Ave., 2nd fl., ste. n, West Hollywood (310-567-2484). http://vanitasofcalifornia.com/

HEAR
The Perils and Pleasures of Prefab Architecture
What: Free reception, book signing, and panel discussion on ecofriendly building and architecture in conjunction with the Some Assembly Required: Contemporary Prefabricated Houses exhibit.
When: Thurs., 6 p.m.
Where: MOCA Pacific Design Center, 8687 Melrose Ave., at San Vicente Blvd., West Hollywood (310-289-5223).

> r r <

The RR Report: SXSW Stylez

2007-03-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

Though I took full advantage of the "river of free alcohol" (as heralded by Jax) flowing from dawn til dusk at South By Southwest, I managed to retain enough of my powers of observation (normally honed to Painfully Catty level) to notice style and lack thereof among the hordes overtaking Austin, TX this past week.

There's a good reason that, when Dan and I decided to imitate generic New York dance rock in gravelly accented voices, we sang "TIGHT PANTS DANCE DANCE!" There was nary a pair of bootcuts in sight, and both guys and girls wore equally ass-tight versions. Almost always black. Kate Moss would've been proud.

My personal style statement involved the free pair of Diesels I scored when the band played the Nylon/Diesel party. Higher-wasited, crisp and dark, really comfy, and FREE BITCHES! I know the sensible thing would be to eBay those babies, but my materialism is winning out on this one.

I don't have any illuminating comment for this one. Point is, band dude in all the latest trends for girls.

Despite the dubious value of skinny fucks in expensive black clothes, at least most SXSWers aren't nutball hippies wearing knitted animal ears in the hot sun.

Animal ears are only cool if they're real. Winky: most stylish SXSW attendee, bar none.

> r r <

Navy = New Black; Spring = New Winter

2007-03-18T22:57:00.000-07:00

Entirely unasked-for statement of the day: I love pretty navy dresses for this spring. Still within the confines of the general dark-color trend, but spring-ready with their easiness and warm-weather skirt shape. My faves:

I LOVE this dress, which is a stretch jersey version of a corseted ballgown. Ingenious. It's light and swishy and much more casual in person than in the photo. Great color, and the skirt is a chic-er, updated version of last year's bubble. You could wear a little cropped jacket or whatever over it, or even a thin raggy jersey tee for daytime. I think maybe I'm just seduced by how comfortable it is. (I know because I'm wearing it--it's from a shop I do shoots for sometimes). Oh, and flattering, with my favorite princess seam.

This Plenty dress actually comes in navy too, but it's sold out online (perhaps because I, uh, took one as payment). It's ridiculously cute, comes from one of my favorite lady designers (Tracy Reese), and is the most versatile thing I've seen: it can be worn short or long, depending on how you pull the skirt, and thus is doable alone or over tights/leggings/what-have-you.

Next up: I have a whole South By Southwest style report in the works (black still rules in the un-subtle world of any New York-esque rock people), but first I have to go shower off the collected dust of 44 total in-car hours and 60 total SXSW hours.

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Best of Both Worlds

2007-03-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

For those of us who aren't high-falutin' culinarians or whatever they're called, we can admit to liking total junk food. But some of us like to think we're above that, so when we discover junk food in fancy-food form, we rejoice. Especially when that fancy-food-form manages to combine chocolate and pizza.

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God Does Exist, Per Banana (and not the Ana Calderon kind)

2007-03-10T15:31:00.000-08:00

...though the Ana kind may also prove God exists, some of you who don't know her, must put your faith in this:

(and yes, that is KIRK CAMERON)

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What I'm Reading Now:

2007-03-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

My food obsession is becoming ridiculous.

Last night I dreamt that I was dating (read: sleeping with) Anthony Bourdain.

"Ewww," you must be thinking.

"Me too!" I want to shout--except it was hot. We cooked and...Well, you know, all day long. Everything was about food...and well, you know.

This comes on the heels of me reading Marco Pierre White's autobiography, Devil in the Kitchen, that is to drop on May 1, 2007.

It's a fun read, poorly written, but to not to worry, it is written as if it were spoken from his lips. You feel like you have been sitting in your parlor taking a spot of tea with the infamous chef.

For those of you who don't know, Marco Pierre White is the culinary world's first "bad-boy chef." It is the reason Gordon Ramsay has found fame for screaming at the poor sops they gathered in the kitchen of Hell; Ramsay worked for Marco at one of his Michelin starred restaurants, Harvey's.

Names are dropped through out the book, and not in this way; "Last night I was talking to my friend Gordon Ramsay..." (cuz they aren't anymore, btw) but more like this; "...so I hired a sous chef who was about my age, an American lad called Mario Batali."

For those that want to understand the making of some famous chef's of today, I can highly recommend this easy read.

If you want to shell out some dineros for his famed, White Heat you can find it here.

If you want to read about his troubles before you can read about his troubles you can read it here.

If you want to evaluate my dream, you can send it here.

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Thomas Keller's Bouchon seeks Chef de Cuisine

2007-03-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

from craigslist.org:

Reply to: hr@bouchonbistro.com
Date: 2007-03-09, 6:24PM PST

Thomas Keller’s Bouchon Bistro in Yountville, CA seeks a Chef de Cuisine. The ideal candidate will have 5 years of experience, ideally with increasing levels of responsibility in a fine dining French bistro setting.

This position oversee and coordinate all culinary aspects of the Bouchon kitchen including the planning, organizing, training and leadership necessary to achieve stated objectives in sales, costs, employee retention, guest service and satisfaction, food quality, rating, cleanliness and sanitation.

Who we are:

The Thomas Keller Restaurant Group is dedicated to setting new restaurant standards in service, cuisine and the employment experience. Our goal is to collaborate with talented restaurant professionals and offer opportunities to learn and grow within the industry. Our restaurants include The French Laundry, per se, Bouchon, Bouchon Bakery and Ad Hoc. We offer Medical, Dental, and Vision benefits after 90 days of employment. We have a 401(k) plan, Voluntary Life Insurance, an Employee Assistance Program, a Scholarship program for continued experiential learning outside the organization, paid vacation, food and wine training seminars taught by industry leaders and various other benefits. We seek inspired candidates who are passionate about food, wine and service. Fine dining experience is preferred but we will train the right person in all aspects of their position.

The Thomas Keller Restaurant Group is dedicated to hiring a diverse staff and strongly encourages qualified minority and female candidates to apply for all positions.

Compensation: DOE
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 291412523

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Cheap, um, Friday*

2007-03-09T23:19:00.000-08:00

*Note: I am NOT lame and staying home on a Friday night. no no no, i mean i am at home, but i was with a friend until a minute ago and we were drinking lots of alcohol, which is inherently not lame, all right? an d i'm about to go out to el cid for a party SO THERE and justbecause i am making typos does not mean i m drunk. wait yes it does. anyway, onto the post i started yesterday:

Back in January, I admitted that my resolution to be buying-free all month had failed during the home stretch, thanks to a sale too ridiculous to resist. I haven't kept my promise to report on my subsequent February failures (but, to be fair, it's because I actually didn't buy anything in February. Blame the short month--probably with an extra 2 days, I would have.), so I'll extend the promise to March and crow about my latest coup:
I've been hearing about Cheap Monday jeans for a while now, and all rumors have been good ones: they're from Sweden, they're super chic and skinny minny, and their defining feature is the lack of a $200 price tag. Sweden is basically the best country going (universal health care, great public education, fantastic ginger cookies, everyone's HOT) and provides the rest of the world with pretty great exports (Peter Bjorn & John, all those other neat bands, oh and let's not forget Abba, Swedish fish, vodka, ME). The list now includes hip jeans at real-person prices ($50 - $70). I managed to secure myself a pair (thank god they come in a 34" inseam!) and oh gosh, they're lovely. Like tights, but jeans. Like jeans, but tights. I got them from my place of employment, and I made the other girls assure me that I didn't look like a child-bearing whale. And with said assurances, however true or not they may be, I'm now informing the world exactlly how my legs are shaped. It's funny, I was talking to my mother on the phone (an at-least every-other-day event) and realizing that I can chronicle my jeans purchases by their narrowness. I.e. the less skintight the jean, the older the pair. I remember when I bought a pair of slim-cut Gap jeans in, oh, late 2000, and they were my big concession to the burgeoning slim jean trend. Now. those Gap jeans are my baggy go-to-the-supermarket pair. As time goes on, I keep deciding that I still don't have a pair skinny enough. Now the skinny jean chronicle must be over, though; if they got narrower than Cheap Mondays, I'd be constricting blood flow. But they're not tight-feeling; they're stretchy and soft and comfy and marvy. I love Swedes. Not a little because of this quote from the head honcho of the Church of Sweden:
"It is abundantly clear that this designer wants to create public opinion against the Christian faith." Love it.

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Download.

2007-03-09T11:44:00.000-08:00

I agree.

And agree some more.

(from yosh.com)

"'Download,' a dinnerware set for one, is a comment on technology and our lives. I once saw a 1960's science program that proclaimed computers would simplify our lives bringing a 4 day work week. I can only speak for myself, computers have had the opposite affect. Most of my meals are spent in front of the computer. The pace of our lives seems to be spinning out of control.

'Download' is dedicated to the individuals whose dining companions are often their computers. The monitor, a shallow plate that reminds us there is more to life than work. The keyboard, a shallow box for holding food items, a CD to serve as a small plate or coaster, a mouse which is a two sided spice dispenser and a mouse pad napkin."

download.com
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Who is Gonna Get This For Me?

2007-03-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

come on...it's only $17,300 per place setting.

That's not much when you consider how many times I'm gonna cook for you...

ETERNITY.

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La Traviata

2007-03-08T18:35:00.001-08:00

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Hardcore.

2007-03-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

For all y'all who have Real Jobs and think that fashion school is all fun and games and MTV cameras, let me just enlighten you: I left my house at 7:43 this morning. It is 10:32 PM currently and I walked back in the door about 11 minutes ago. You can do the math; point is, shit's tough sometimes. I've been cutting and sewing and drawing and computer-drawing for that many hours, and I'm about to throw back some aspirin and head out on the town again. It ain't no PICNIC, fools, and there ain't no FREE LUNCH (as my college graduation speaker tried and failed to tell us) and Adobe Illustrator CS is NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

I.e, more blogging will happen soon, promise swear, but not just yet.

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Bloom Cafe, A Review

2007-02-26T09:39:00.000-08:00

I met my friend Jason at Bloom Cafe--this "lovely" new spot he insisted on taking me. He had taken me to Luna Park and Lou Wine Bar--and both were big hits, so I knew it would be a good one.

We met for brunch on Wednesday, and as it was cold outside, I had a cup of coffee. I wanted to have the Mint Lemonade they were offering, but I couldn't bear the ice in my throat.

He had lunch; a vegetarian sandwich that came with shoestring frites that melt on your tongue. When I ask for mayo for my fries they one up'ed me and brought aioli! My heart is aflutter.

I had a hard time picking between the lemon ricotta pancakes (I have still never had them!!) and the chorizo omelets. I got the omelets--bummer. It was fine. No, that's not true. It was bland. I don't like cooked bell peppers. I don't like rubber for eggs. I mean, what does it take to get good eggs in this town?

That aside, the salad, potatoes and toast were all quite nice. The coffee was nice too--and it is hard to get a good cup of coffee in LA LA.

Though it is true, I'm trash talking the eggs--I must say that the menu and the service and the owners were all quite impressive. What was even more impressive was the offer for me to be the featured chef for the night. I'm excited to talk with them about it. So look for me there. And go by and enjoy the bloom.

★★★

STACKme

2007-02-26T08:28:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in an article below, design for design's sake is not my cup-of-tea. I like design to solve a problem.

STACKme is a stacking place setting that allows for each plate and bowl to stack UP not OUT. Think NYC when suddenly there was no more land to build on--"let's go up!" the mayor might have proclaimed.

Table sprawl shall be a thing of the past; soup with a view probably even tastes better.

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High-Low Pricing Works For Us.

2007-02-23T19:45:00.000-08:00

I've just started a unit on retail pricing in my merchandising strategies class. It's interesting, actually, looking at how variable the pricing is depending on what kind of retailer you're running. For instance, Neiman Marcus is an above-price retailer--they actually charge more than the suggested retail value for items. But they can do it, because they sometimes have the items in stock before anyone else, and their wealthy customers don't mind paying more to be the first one on Rodeo Drive sporting the new Dior. However, these stores end up losing more than others during sales, because they're losing huge chucks of that originally planned profit. Another method is "high-low pricing"--charging slightly above the ideal price considering their target shoppers, but then reeling them in with massive sales that end up making tons of money. One champion of this strategy is Macy's, and I spent a fruitless hour this morning (after 5 hours of sleep) scouring the internet for articles about their policies. Now I know some more keywords after talking to my professor, but jeez, my usual mad boolean search skillz were getting me nowhere.

Easier than researching Macy's high-low pricing, thankfully, is taking advantage of it. TOMORROW. (Or, if it's already Saturday by the time you've lazily read this, TODAY.)

My teacher (my current fave lady over 30; she's a research psychologist and also used to be a buyer for Nordstrom. She never sleeps and has amazing clothes and gives us actual challenging work.) says that if there's one day to see high-low pricing in action, Saturday's the day: the One Day Sale is the mother of them all. And, she says, if you drop $500 you didn't plan on, it's not her fault. Ditto for me: I'm just the messenger. But since you asked, here are a few choice items you might bag during your investigation: Maidenform's "One Fab Fit Endless Options" bra, which, despite questionable advertising (ENDLESS? really? methinks not.) looks to be quite the versatile little number, for a mere 20 bucks. Also, KitchenAid's fab little immersion blender, which would be PERFECT for my morning yogurt-berry smoothie. On sale for $50--and comes in lotsa colors. And please don't overlook the lovely Doc Marten boots ("with classic yellow Z-stitch accents") for only 85 dollars. Fellows, let me tell you: in 1997, I could think of nothing more appealing than a lanky guy in a Kurt Cobain shirt wearing a pair of these bad boys. I even considered--I can't believe I'm admitting this--buying myself a pair in silver (the $120 price tag kept me from it. Thank god.). Anyway, Macy's will let you relive the magic. So go forth, research and learn. And while you're at it, I seriously want that immersion blender.

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Booze Clues

2007-02-20T00:45:00.000-08:00

I have this teacher. She teaches my Apparel Production Process Lab, which means that she's the lord and mistress of my time every Monday from 8:30 a.m. (ouch squared) until 2:45 p.m. She's very thorough and good at giving us excrutiatingly detailed instructions for how to draft the pattern for, say, a long sleeve, a short sleeve with a folded cuff, a puffed sleeve, or even a sleeve with shoulder pads (perish the thought). She's also a total nutjob who has worked doing costuming for Ren Faire, doing computer nerd stuff during the Silicon Valley boom, and now being an Imagineer. Yes, she costumes characters for rides at Disneyland. She's like a wonderous mystical character who gets more and more miraculous with each new facet I glimpse of her life. For instance, the other day, along with her usual handmade super-high-waist pants, she was wearing a Barenaked Ladies tee shirt. At first I thought there were dirt marks on the back, and then I realized they were SIGNATURES. From ALL THE BARENAKED LADIES. Oh wow. Oh gosh. This woman is a mind-boggling creature. Also, she has curled bangs. That like stick out from her forehead. I think she's single.

ANYWAY, the most recent gem from this teacher that I thought I'd share with you kids is a secret of costumers worldwide (apparently). "The best way to get out perspiration odor," she announce recently, "is, we've discovered, a mixture of half water and half vodka." I can't imagine this chick doing anything with a bottle of vodka, but I guess if I had to, furiously removing stains would be it.

You may think this priceless tip is enough revelation for one post, but I'm here to tell you YET ANOTHER. Way back in the day, I went to prom. It was senior prom, so it was a big effing deal even for those of us who thought we were too cool for prom. I had a silk dress by Laundry by Shelli Segal, which made it the first sorta-designer item I'd ever bought, and I thought it made me The Bomb(shell). I got my hair done like Marylin Monroe and I was ready to take on the world, or at least my whole senior class at Polly Esther's (the 80s club where prom was that year). But first my crew and I had the requisite swanky dinner at some new fusion-type restaurant, and--of course--a piece of sauce-covered something-or-other fell straight from my chopsticks onto the front of my dress. Oh, motherfuck, I thought. This ain't never coming out, and it's PROM and my dress is so FABulous and it's got sauce right in FRONT now and everyone will SEE IT and think RUDE THOUGHTS instead of being AWESTRUCK. So I got up, went to the bar for some club soda, and dabbed in vain at my bust in the bathroom. At which point a magical fairy godmother--i.e. a nice lady coming out of a stall--gave me this, the second priceless tip: gin gets out oily stains. She said she'd done the same thing at her wedding on her wedding dress, and gin did the trick. The bartender gave me some on a napkin (at this point, still the closest I'd ever been to gin in my life) and lo and behold--the orange grossness on my front was gone. My delusions of grandeur returned, and I've never forgotten the gin trick since--another reason that gin is the best alcohol in the world.

Moral: always listen to Imagineers and ladies in bathrooms. And always keep your liquor cabinet full. Just in case.

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Happy Venereal Disease Day!

2007-02-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

...or is that not what he meant when he said, "Happy VD"?

I hate Valentines Day, but I love, Love. So for Valentines Day I'm having my single friends to dinner--well not all of them, because I can't cook for that many people.

Here is the menu:

First
Curried Cauliflower, Potato and Sprout Salad

Main
Miso Cured White Fish in Carrot and Ginger Broth

Third
Asparagus Risotto

Dessert
Cucumber Sorbet with Strawberries and Balsamic Sauce

Vegan Truffle

From this book:

From this bookstore

Love,

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