05 October 2006

This Just In: Holy Trinity Found in Candy Corn


With the craze of finding a religious experience in food, we decided to do some digging and found something that has been under our noses since we were, well, ‘nose pickers’. Candy corn is a metaphor for “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost”--Halloween is a Christian holiday after all! Who knew? God, that’s who.

There are some guidelines to eating the candy in a holy manner. First start with the candy pointy side up. Bite just the white part. Be careful with this, as we are talking about the “Holy Spirit” here. Next bite the orange part, again carefully avoiding the next layer of God. As you do this mutter the phrase, “thank you Jesus.” Before consuming the last nibble, take time to meditate over the perils of the world. Once you have thoroughly chewed on the horrors of the day, you may now ingest the body of God.

There is a new movement on the horizon; “Children for the Advocacy of Candy Corn for Communion”.

Candy Corn Popcorn Balls

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine

1 pkg. (10-1/2 oz.) JET-PUFFED Miniature Marshmallows

1 pkg. (4-serving size) JELL-O Brand Gelatin, any flavor

12 cups (3 qt.) popped popcorn

1 cup candy corn


MICROWAVE butter and marshmallows in large microwavable bowl on HIGH 1-1/2 to 2 minutes or until marshmallows are puffed. Stir in gelatin until well blended.

POUR marshmallow mixture over combined popcorn and candy corn in large bowl. Mix lightly until well coated.

SHAPE into 16 (2-inch) balls or other shapes with greased or wet hands.



Amen.

tt

4 Comments:

Blogger violations bureau said...

thoroughly enlightening

although i do prefer the "indian corn" variety to the regular candy corns.

newcomer family recipe for halloween fun:

1. shovel handful after handful of indian corn into mouth until vomiting is induced

2. cry

3. eat something else

/chris

05 October, 2006 18:40  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you should come up with a less gelatinous version of this recipe for us vegetarians. yes, most candy corn contains gelatin.

06 October, 2006 17:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you should come up with a less gelatinous version of this recipe for us vegetarians. yes, most candy corn contains gelatin.

06 October, 2006 17:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you, T.--Odell

10 October, 2006 19:36  

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