25 July 2007

The Simpsons Movie Premiere

So I know people who know people. I don't actually know people myself. Except for the people I know, and then I know those people. But these people I don't know personally, I know people they know personally.

That being explained, I went to the Simpson's Movie Premiere last night and it was a lot of fun. Lot's of "B"-list-ers sitting all around, young hipsters, and old grumpy execs that were pissed that they were sitting in tiny seats with the rest of us hoodlums in the back of the theater. It was hard at times to hear the movie for the broken egos falling to the floor.

I walked the red (yellow in this case) carpet. People looked at me like, "Who is that? She looks familiar..." (It's because I am blond and thin and look like everyone else in LA. But the natural nose and small-ish boobs give me away every time..."oh she's nobody.")

I sat in the hellishly small seats and waved at people I thought I knew, turns out they were childhood stars and hipster-friend look-a-likes. I do that a lot in fact. I say "hi" to people I think I know, turns out they were on my favorite show or movie when I was a child. It's so embarrassing. There was stale popcorn (free, how generous) and extra small sodas (also free) which made me laugh because it just seemed ridiculous to have a party for Hollywood and for there to be NO WATER. My favorite part of the whole night (besides two other favorite parts that I will get to) was the cell phone debacle. It said very clearly on the invitation, "NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED" for fear of pirating the movie. It couldn't have been clearer. But everyone in Hollywood thinks they are above the law, and there was a line for miles of idiot execs that had to pick up their cell phones from the valet after the movie.

The movie started just on time, an hour and a half late. The movie itself was a lot of fun. Again, this isn't a kids show--just because it is animated doesn't automatically mean it is for children. Just like Hanna Montana is not for adults you sickos. I cracked up at the really inappropriate parts (jokes about black being the worst color)...and seemed to be the only one laughing. The jokes that really got the crowd were the old-school, Homor-esque (as in Simpson, bien sur) hilarity that always gets that animated man into trouble. Bart was sweeter than I remember him. Lisa catches a break, and Maggie saves the day. Flanders has a big role...and so does Jesus. There are jabs at religion, intolerance, and political figures and the EPA that make the Simpson's legitimate.

Moving on to the after party.

The food was crap. The party was fun though. I was introduced to the man himself, Matt Groening (he is who the people I know, know-geddit?) and his good friend Gail Zappa. I met his gf with the same name. And then we sat down waiting for him to come to the table. He never made it. Rather we ate pink doughnuts and drank Duff beer (Tecate) and watched the shortest men in Hollywood vye for Matt's attention. Women were flirting. Dogs were bowing to a man that probably 10 years ago couldn't get a date. Ahhh...that's Hollywood for you.

I sat and talked to one very kind Gail Zappa the whole night, trying my best to figure out if her Zappa was THE Zappa (yes). She tried to find her daughter Diva Thin Muffin to introduce us--seems we are the same age. Then my companion CP wanted to go see the dance floor on our way out. As I told her under no uncertain terms was I going to dance with the 12, drunken men that were on the floor writhing as though they were in a movie themselves; she turned on a dime straight into a man that looked oh so familiar, "you look like someone I know...."

"I'm Larry Birkhead."



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