Short-Shorts: An Unsightly Sighting

The other night I went to Spaceland for a friend's band's show. Now, while Spaceland is pretty cool, it's cool because the bands playing there are cool rather than popular. There's a difference. Somehow, though, this friend's band turned out to be wildly popular, resulting in the longest (a.k.a. first) line I've ever seen outside Spaceland. While standing in said line, I--naturally--whiled away the minutes checking out people's outfits. This was pretty entertaining, since the crowd was very clearly not made up of regulars. Normally a bastion of hipster chic, that night the sidewalk was covered in people armed with their loudest, pseudo-punkest, Hollywood-y-est gear. Lots of spiky black hair, tats on girls, big intimidating shoes... you know. I managed to capture the best (worst) of them with my crappy cameraphone:



It's hard, with this grainy picture, to convey the utter horror of this poor misguided woman's getup. It's SO BAD. I noticed her because she was one of those girls who thinks that the more high-pitched your voice and the louder your laugh, the better chance you have with men. Her voice was very high and her laugh very loud. The second thing to sink in was that her legs were VERY long. Normally this is a desirable thing. But with this choice of mini-shorts and boots, one would need the shortest legs possible to make it look at all decent. On her, it was just cringe-inducing. I felt guilty for happening to see the very tippy-tops of her inner thighs,,,but I had no choice! Those are barely even shorts! If only you could have seen the endless gleam of her insane expanse of leg, unmissable against everyone else's clothed bodies (clothed in things that, despite silly punkishness etc., were at least suitable for late evening weather). And you know what? I take back that possibility of "looking decent" with shorter stems. No way could this very shiny, very tight shorts-&-camisole duo look decent, ever. It looks like what I wear to bed--but shinier and tighter.

What I really wonder, though, in addition to "What mind-altering drugs did she take before taking her little sister's pj's from the bin and calling it a day?", is: Were the guys at whom she was chirping actually excited by her shiny-mini-gear? Are my standards those of a certain social group, while this girl's are actually consistent with those of some Hollywood society? No, NO, I just refuse to believe that. Apart from social standards, though, has this chick caught onto some key to male desire here? Are there certain guys who see her and rejoice, rather than recoil?

God help them.

> r r <