January = Fashion In Flux

I'm finding it very odd that, despite January being the moment of highest self-awareness among everyone thinking about new resolutions, new looks, new gym memberships, etc., it is the moment of ZERO fashion excitement. Seriously, though it may be pouring buckets here in L.A., there is a serious drought of fashion fabulosity up in this piece.

Borrrr-ring.

In retail, January is the last month of the fiscal year. Therefore, stores mainly spend it trying their hardest to clear their shelves of stuff and raise their yearly sales numbers as much as possible. This year, retail has taken an especially hard hit, so we're seeing sales of not just 30% or 50%, but 70% off--even at established, always-profitable giants like Banana Republic. (Is anyone else sick to death of their emails? Jesus H, enough already.) They're not going to give us a drop of new merch until February; if we want to spend our Christmas cash, they want us to buy up as many clearance cashmere V-necks as possible.
And in magazines, though this phenomenon is irrelevant, I'm still feeling bored. We already started seeing Spring '08 styles on November and December runways and fashion spreads, so January issues with yet more spring florals are kinda been-there-done-that. Why can't we be supplied with gorgeous, revolutionary fashion inspirations at the same time we're all remaking ourselves (or trying) and looking for new magic in the still-unspoiled first weeks of 2008?
The solution, I think, would be to hold off on the Spring fashion spreads until January. I know the runway shows are earlier, so that kind of spoils things, but I still think that I'd like to save the shoots for later. I adore seeing Vogue's creative, frame-worthy interpretations of the runway looks, and they're really an entirely different animal than Style.com's straight runway slideshows. What if we had a month or two to digest the latest slew of looks (or to ignore them, if you're not among the more fashion-addicted) before seeing the resulting magazine eye candy as a reward for making it through New Year's, and as inspiring fuel for our renewed zeal for personal adornment?
Sure, industry folk don't want to waste time and advertising on spent-out shoppers with no spare change left after the holidays. But shouldn't they realize that the best medicine for those wallet-clutchers is a kick of new goods to convince them to open their purses yet again?
Pipe dreams, I'm sure. Until fashion news gets more captivating, I'll keep busy with those 70% off sales :)

> r r <

5C%'s '08 Resolutions

I'm sure you all have your own New Year's resolutions. Apparently the most common ones involve food and not eating it; money and not spending it; and time and not wasting it. However, clearly these are neglecting a vital element of our lives: UM HELLO FASHION ETC?!?

So RR has taken it upon herself to supply you with a handy printable list of Fashion & Lifestyle Resolutions (inspired, naturally, by her SoCal surroundings):

1. I will not wear Uggs/Cruggs/related plastic or fur shoes.
2. I will not bleach my hair to try to look younger.
3. I will not wear skinny jeans if I am a curvy lady. They may be hip, but overemphasized hips are not hip. Capiche?
4. I will not discuss my latest name-brand purchases loudly. This is totally lame. No one is impressed. It just makes you look like a sad attention whore.
5. I will not use the term "skinny bitch," since it just pins the sayer as being jealous and mean.
6. I will remember that mascara is meant to enhance my eyelashes, not weigh them down and make them look like tarantula legs.
7. I will remember that food is delicious, and that living on Diet Coke and Gummi Bears is not something to do, never mind to brag about.
8. I will also remember that trendy food is probably ridiculous, and that anything that seems remarkably expensive for its weight (see Gogi berries, Kombucha) is probably just meant for those who believe that throwing more money at one's health will compensate for drinking a lot.
9. I will not carry both a Sidekick and a cell phone. That is just dumb.
10. I will not wear leggings with shirts that are short enough to show my Lycra-clad butt, no matter how many Cardio Stripping classes I've taken.
11. I will try to remember a world before the Spears sisters.
12. I will not stop wearing/reading/listening to things that are genuinely cool just because they've gotten "too popular." I'm very guilty of this one, and it's just silly. Granted, the general public has historically terrible taste, but every once in awhile they get it right. Don't deprive yourself of The Beatles/chunky knit scarves/flat boots/Jonathan Safran Foer just because you can get them on Main St.

Happy 2008, kids!

> r r <

More Hatin' On Crocs

A website called "Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion" has this as its #1 tip:

Crocs look like shit and they make your feet smell.

When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship. They come in every color imaginable yet look bad with every other article of clothing ever created. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism.

To their credit though, Crocs serve as an excellent idiot barometer; you can tell a lot about people wearing them. For example, Amazon.com suggest products that other customers have purchased based on the item you're shopping for. Here are the suggestions for Crocs:

See? People who wear Crocs also buy Truck Balls. And--far FAR worse--listen to "Hey There Delilah," and even pay money for the single. Horrifying. Amazing. I love the guy who wrote this very necessary hard-truth masterpiece. And as for knowing dick about fashion, the above clearly proves he's on his way to a career on the Style Network.

I have some more Cros hatin' to do, but it may have to wait for a bit--I have cookies to bake. After all, I need all the help I can get convincing Santa to drop off Prada heels even though our fireplace is faux and there isn't even a chimney.

> r r <

Plaid Fabulous

I don't normally post about things as pure objects of my admiration, unadorned by sarcasm and mocking. This season, however, I've been so very captivated by PLAID that I am compelled to do a little homage. And after all, as I said at age 3, "People can do whatever they want."

Do you think plaid is stodgy? Preppy, boring and mainly associated with bagpipes? Think again.

Could Suzy Parker be any more fabulous? Or, really, could her coat be? I really want one just like that; sadly, I think a full-length plaid number would be a little out of place here in L.A. So instead I covet the cropped version at J.Crew:


Since even on sale it is beyond my wallet's reach, how about the decent mimic at Forever21?

Perhaps is is cheesy of me to fall for plaid at holiday-time, but that's probably the reason. Despite being a heathen half-Jew, I am totally susceptible to warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. I suddenly get domestic, plan all kinds of seasonal menus and events, and wish for matching scarf-&-mitten sets. And, apparently, plaid outerwear.

I am guilty of pining after things but never actually making up my mind to get them; I still don't have a plaid jacket, even though the one above is totally accessible. BUT I did take hours and hours basing my final project in computer fashion illustration on the fabulous plaid coat and related items. Perhaps now that I've spent at least 30 hours painstakingly digitizing plaid patterns and sketching clothes, I don't actually need the item itself. That is one problem with fashion: you immerse yourself so thoroughly that you end up sick to death of everything you once thought was lovely!

But I'm still pining a bit...and hey, Christmas is still to come. I hope Santa has us on his blogroll.

> r r <

Oh Dear, Again.

Dear Ladies,

Let Alicia Keys teach us all a valuable lesson:

Never, never, never, never, never wear drapy jersey tucked around your nether regions. It is even worse than what I had thought was the worst offender: satin stretched horizontally across the abdomen.

But mercy me, I was wrong. Thank you, Alicia, for sacrificing all personal dignity to impart such a priceless message. This image, burned forever into our horrified retinas, will not be soon forgotten.

> r r <

Oh Dear.

I try to contradict people's impression that fashion students are airheads as much as I can, but what I witnessed today can only serve to further that stereotype. There's only so much I can stand up for my peers before breaking down in awestruck disbelief at what comes out of the mouths of people who appear perfectly capable....

So I was in the textile library, snipping some lengths of ribbon to tie together my Fit Analysis terminology notebook (very cool, no?), when a girl walked up to the woman staffing the help desk. At first, when I heard her ask, "What kind of fiber is leather?", I thought I'd misheard. Obviously, leather is not made of any sort of fiber; it is leather. But no. That really was her question. The woman at the desk gave her a long, scornful eyebrow-raise and said slowly, "Well, leather is made generally from a cow. Occasionally, a goat or sheep."

The girl took this in.

"So, like, it's a natural fiber?"

Dear god.

NOT A FIBER

> r r <

The Latest on Chanel Tattoo Girl

Remember that girl I have class with who has a Chanel logo tattoo behind her ear, just like in the Chanel glasses ad from spring '07? Right, her. Well, finally the other day I maneuvered my way into finding out her reasoning behind the tattoo. And folks, I was shocked. I'd gone along assuming that my classmate had swiped her tattoo from the pictures in an attempt to join their tribe of converts (chief member: Mischa Barton). But when I oh-so-casually asked, "When did you get your tattoo?", she answered..."ABOUT A YEAR AGO." Whoa. This means that she was getting inked when those ads were just a kernel of an idea in a branding expert's brain over at Lagerfeld Central. Not only that, when I said how it was cool that it was the same as in print (oh, I lie), she didn't know what I was talking about. Nope--this girl, who's decided that Chanel is so "her" that she wears its logo 24/7, apparently doesn't even read the fancy fashion magazines where her fave brand, and its advertisements, are featured.

WEIRD.

Here, for incredulity's sake, is another Chanel-phile with the same idea:

She's a RankMyTattoo.com user named AmandaxChanel, and her caption is: "I got this tattoo because Chanel is what inspired me to be a fashion designer. I know its dumb but its what I am passionate about."

STILL WEIRD.

> r r <

Ain't No Celery at the 5%C Thanksgiving Table

So, inspired by fabulous blogs like LAist, I'm making a list of things I'm thankful for at this very moment. I don't know why anyone cares about this type of thing, since what I'm thankful for very likely has nothing to do with you, but everyone else is doing it (even Perez, in his way), so it must be cool (right?). I will even try to make it relevant to 5%C by including fabulous foods and fashions. Not difficult. OKAY.

RR is all like "THANKS" about some stuff including these things:

• Schizophrenic fall weather that lets you wear little skirts or big sweaters
• The advent of holiday baking season!
• Clifton's Cafeteria in downtown L.A. with all the old people and the weird forest dioramas
• Beautiful old postcards
• LOLcats
• These Prada shoes
• My new job
• Our cat learning to use his scratching post
• Mezzanine Owls' upcoming record
• Project Runway
• Persimmons
• Gloves with fur trim
• Animals with fur trim
• Babies dressed like animals
• Not having any babies
• Wooly tights (Hue and DKNY make great ones for stingy girls like me)
• Establishments that let me stay stingy: The 99 Cents Only store, taco stands, Thank You Mart
• All the new movies I actually want to see
• The fabulous Louise Brooks
• The fact that I didn't succumb to the iPhone craze, since now there's a Google phone in development
• And...I am thankful for today's being notably full of food, as I am currently starrrrving.

On that note, I'm audi (oh, & of course I am thankful, as always, for Clueless).

> r r <

When Fashion School & Gossip Girl Collide

How convenient that two main occupations of mine of late—digital sketching and Gossip Girl—would convene in such a, well, material fashion. (Ha! Fashion! I am hilarious.)

Interruption: the most ridiculous Sandals Jamaica ad is on TV right now. Sandals, like Michael Scott on The Office took Jan to. So this ad actually has “Time of My Life” as the background song. Who on EARTH is this targeting? Amazing.

Anyway, first, I’ll explain that a key part of fashion design is digital illustration and graphic design. You may think it’s all Project-Runway-style freakouts (speaking of which, how excited am I that P.R. is finally back? SO VERY.) and madly inspired moments but actually, design now involves a lot of painstaking work in various programs written by Adobe. For my Applied Technology class, I have to draw dresses, shoes, what have you, and then lay out pages with backgrounds and color swatches and titles and stuff…all of which has to correspond with the concept of the design. I like designing everything, but jesus it takes forever. Here’s what a finished page looks like, using a photo inspiration and then adapting it:


Second, I’ve started watching the new show Gossip Girl recently. Along with being the next O.C. (in a good way—oh, the adolescent drama! The love triangles and pentagons! The endless catty comments that we wish we’d thought of in high school!), Gossip Girl also takes The O.C.’s place as fantastic fashion spectacle. There’s Blair, preptastic princess extraordinaire, who manages to pull off headbands and ringlets, and then our heroine, Serena, who’s kind of designer bohemian and has hair that is always unbrushed yet totally perfect somehow. I’m sure her wardrobe is calculated by teams of statisticians to make us fall uncontrollably in girl-love with her, and I can’t deny it’s worked. In fact, I KNOW that the wardrobe is at least as calculated as most…because Gossip Girl, after making you covet every $400 Tory Burch striped sequin shift that Serena wears to an ill-fated party, gives you a hyperlink to its ONLINE STORE. Yep, Gossip Girl has its own boutique with links to all the stuff to let you buy our way to Upper-East-Side soap-opera stardom yourself. You can even "browse by brand, character, episode or product"! And THEN you can link to Victoria's Secret looks "inspired by" the characters.

So while I could rattle on about how interesting it is to see how the entertainment and retail industries are coming together via the all-powerful internet, instead I’ll cut to the coincidence: when I visited the Gossip Girl style file deal online (in the name of research, natch), what did I see but the very purse I’d just finished using for my class! I picked it solely because it was easy to draw, but I guess it must be chic, too. At least according to The CW’s statisticians.

> r r <

Sunday Style Roundup

Well, hello there.

Preface: We may have fallen off the old "posting"* boat, but hey, we've been otherwise occupied. Often that means someone is in the loo, but in this case, it means that .:tt:. and >rr< have been occupied with things such as Acquiring New Jobs, being Productive Members of Society (Ending World Hunger, Ending Misuse of Terrycloth Pants, etc.). But we have not forgotten entirely about you, gentle reader (oh, Miss Manners), and to that end I've put together a list of my most favorite fashion & style resources on Ye Olde Internets. Even if you just think of these sites as procrastinatory devices rather than fascinating sociological tracts, hey, at least they're marginally more edifying than Perez. Without further ado:
The Sartorialist - The most gracious documenter of street style, in his words, "started The Sartorialist simply to share photos of people that I saw on the streets of New York that I thought looked great. When I worked in the fashion industry (15 years), I always felt that there was a disconnect between what I was selling in the showroom and what I was seeing real people (really cool people) wearing in real life." This now translates into a gorgeously simple photo blog updated daily from his travels all over, among circles high and low. He gives us thoroughly chic fashion plates and fantastic old men in hats. [see -------->]
GoFugYourself -This indispensable site is the first thing I read after I stare down my horrifying Gmail inbox. The Fug Girls knock fashion offenders neatly off their pedestals with a hearty dose of hilariousness. They're geniuses. It's addictive. I'm sure you know this already.
The New York Times Fashion & Style section - They're pretty on it in terms of mainstream fashion news, and have intelligent reporting on fashion in the real world. Their photo montages of Manhattan folk are fun too (e.g. people wearing galoshes! Or, yellow dresses! Or, white fur! I feel like New Yorkers are actually way more daring with their everyday ensembles than we Angelenos.). Plus, the Style section has articles on media, pop culture, music, blah blah, which are relatively smart. Plus, their wedding reports are unbeatable! Even my very un-cheesy stepmother reads them religiously. And let's not forget the very pretty seasonal "T" magazine they put out about fashion & style. Good times. (Hah! TIMES! I am a master of puns!)
Deeply Superficial - A graduate student of fashion theory writes this catch-all blog about "fashion theory/fashion history/fashion now." My fave combo! I'm excited to find that you can actually study fashion theory in grad school--a dream of mine--and her posts on fashion theory, recent fashion happenings and phenomena (and sample sales!) are neat.
Fashion Theory: The Journal of Dress, Body & Culture - I received this heinously expensive Scandinavian journal for a year (thanks, Mom) and now can check the super-academic articles online (or, at least, the free previews of them).
Style.com - Duh, I know. But they have all the runway shows, neat articles spotlighting industry darlings or newcomers, and it's where I can check to see things like, oh, what kind of shirt CAN I wear with my trouser-leg jeans?
Fashion Geek - I guess this is a Citysearch blog (weird), but it's got updates on the U.S. fashion scene, snarky Fashion Week reviews, notices of random fun events and music and stuff too. Whoever writes it is amusing and it does provide a nice jumble of vaguely related posts (Marc Jacobs vs Tom Ford in a "nude-off"! Latest weird trends! Gossip from the reporter! Interviews of people on the street!). Kind of like a Gawker of fashion, I guess.

OK, enough for now. I won't admit to any more of the stuff I read regularly for fear of looking like some geek who reads about the industry all day...um...so, I'm off to brave the outside and find some sushi.
xo,
> r r < *My newest favoritest randomest blog that warms the cockles of my grammar-freak heart: the blog of unnecessary quotation marks!

Branding Herself...Like You'd Brand Yer Cattle

Remember these ads from Chanel's recent Spring/Summer campaign? I remember noting the tattoos, vaguely wondering if they were real, concluding that obviously they weren't, briefly pondering the implications of brand logos being tattooed onto bodies, and soon forgetting the whole subject.

Until, that is, I started my latest term at design school and was seated next to a 20ish girl whose hair was pulled back, revealing an identical "CC" tattoo behind her ear. "Huh," I thought, "Chanel is actually selling those temporary tattoos from the ads! Crazy--I can't believe people would actually buy those. I guess their marketing dept. really does know what it's doing." The next week, the girl still had a tat in the same place. "Wow," I thought, impressed, "Those things really last!" Well, dear reader, of course the next week I realized that Chanel has not made its fake tats available at your local Neiman's; no, no, this dedicated chick actually went further than the Chanel models and got the Chanel logo permanently, indelibly inked on her skin. She's not a tat fiend, either; the CC is the only visible mark on her body, telling the world that the very most important message she has to broadcast about herself via her sizzled skin is...Chanel. I, she is saying, AM CHANEL.

Apart from the obvious falsity of this statement, what puzzles me most is that she's not a particularly Chanel-y dresser. Her clothes come from Forever21 and Abercrombie (and I'm not even sure of that because they're just that unmemorable). The big-ass sunglasses pushing her hair back might be Chanel, but she shows no other sign of Coco & Karl's striking, powerful-woman black-&-white vibe. Perhaps her theory goes that if she's got the tattoo, she doesn't actually need the clothes to transmit the Chanel message, whatever she thinks it is. In other words, perhaps the branding has been so effective that she not only believes in the power of the double C, but believes that everyone else does, too. Heck, she may be right--in which case she's saved herself a heck of a lot of money. I prefer to believe, however, that whatever power Chanel has truly lies in the interesting clothes, which is simply what the logos hope to evoke. I dunno, though--the impact of the Ralph Lauren Polo logo is certainly stronger than the polo shirt alone (strong enough for the guy who got the polo pony tattooed on his chest...*).

*click link for article revealing that brand-branding is an actual phenomenon. Sad, or inevitable?

> r r <

The Latest Genius Idea I Didn't Think Of

I know y'all remember the Baby-Sitters Club. I think I read all of them up to about #75; at that point, I grew up a little and Ann M. Martin started to foray into wild new worlds of BSC brand extensions ("Super-Special" double-length books! A mystery spinoff series! The movie! Yes, even graphic novels! When did the woman sleep? I bet she eventually got herself a computer program that just inserted key names, Mad-Libs-style, into prefab plotlines to keep the series going.). But I'd been a big fan. I even took the time to sit down and write Ms. Martin a letter once, pqainstakingly explaining all the inaccuracies in her descriptions of Stacey's diabetes. (I received a simpering form letter in response, covered in BSC stickers and with zero mention of my letter's angry corrections.)

Anyway, my favorite thirteen-year-old bab-sitter (wow, THIRTEEN...I could hardly fathom it) was always Claudia. She was so artsy! So cool! So devil-may-care! She made her own earrings and even decorated her hi-tops with freakin' puffy paint! What a role model. Not that I wasn't creative myself--I always chose my own clothes--but I generally landed more on the fashionably questionable side (picture a little girl in pinafores and hot pink Keds) and only dreamed of being some sort of hyper-cool cross between Claudia and Clarissa [Explains It All].

But I'd forgotton those dark years of my life until I came across this most fabulous of fabulous blogs: What Claudia Wore. Kim of Amherst, MA, whoever you are: I envy you. I envy the genius you obviously possess to have come up with the idea, and I envy the power you have over legions of twentysomething female readers to conjure up memories of our reverence for Claudia's ensembles, alongside burning, burning shame at realizing how utterly horrifying said ensembles were. Thank god most of us weren't as crafty as ole Claud, or else the 80s might have been just that much worse.

> r r <

Party Like It's The Frozen North

In an effort to beat the shocking, life-sucking heat wave in Los Angeles this weekend, we decided to throw a bash honoring that part of the world where it's generally very cold: Scandinavia! I'm Swedish, my friend is Norwegian, our third posse member had just been in Stockholm--et voila, a bash is born. (Also, as you may gather from my post on Swedish chic, I am utterly convinced that Sweden is the best country in the universe--and therefore also an extremely good theme for a party.) It was last-minute, on the cheap, ridiculous...a.k.a. totally great. Since the event was definitely food- and fashion-related, here's the report:

MENU: In order to be thoroughly authentic, we obviously had to forgo the grocery store and instead do a major IKEA run. We scored Swedish meatballs, lingonberry preserves (for the meatballs, of course, since all right-minded people put fruit on their ground meat), Knackebrod (dark Scando crispbreads; apparently, the hole in the middle is traditionally made with a broom handle) with Danish cheeses and sliced cucumber, canapés with peppery cream cheese & smoked salmon & caviar (swank, no?), and Swedish gingersnaps. We decided against pickled herring for obvious reasons (and also because it's just nasty). Oh yes, and let's not forget little bowls of Swedish fish (duh!) and chocolate Dalahasten (Swedish horses) (see below).

We did not serve bowls of real Swedish horses, however.

"The qualities that the North Swedish Horse possesses are energy, durability, stamina, and respectable longevity."

Ah, good old respectable longevity...which reminds me, in order to help test our guests' durability, stamina, etc., we of course had to have a big old bottle of Sweden's own Absolut (the grapefruit kind--my fave. Hey, my party!). Tasted fab with the random Scandinavian berry juice we had plus a little seltzer. Or, you know, straight from the bottle.

FASHIONHAGGEN: On the fashion front, I managed to assemble an entirely Nordic getup (thanks, H&M and my blue-and-yellow Converses). I would've worn my Cheap Monday jeans to mix up the labels a bit, but the 100-degree weather persuaded me otherwise. Others obliged with chich that would put bike-riding Norwegians to shame. We all tried to channel thoughts of Scando snow as we ate our salty, fishy foods and listened to a playlist of exclusively Nordic bands (their ratio of good bands is so unfairly high. Even their white rappers are better than ours.).

For more reasons Sweden rules, go here. For my patented family recipe for Swedish meatballs, go here. THAT'S RIGHT, NO LINK, SUCKAS! You'll never get that secret out of me.

The real question now is: where's that last little bit of Havarti? It might go well with a little Robyn on the stereo.

> r r <

Does This Make Computer Games Cool, or Fashion Dorky??

Remember when I wrote about LC's virtual clothing line for the Virtual Hills game? Apparently, she's not the only one with that idea....


Ever in search of the newest ways to promote their wares, labels such as Stella McCartney, Lacoste, and, more recently, H&M, are venturing out of real-world practices and reaching out to what may become greener marketing pastures — the digital lifestyle simulators of Second Life and The Sims.

Steve Lubomski, H&M's US advertising director who spearheaded the fashion retailer's collaboration with The Sims this summer, proclaims that "The virtual world is definitely the new marketing frontier."

A solution for those computer nerds who may not be so nerdy? I still find the whole Second Life phenomenon quite creepy, but obviously those designers have gotten over the heebie-jeebies and hopped on the money train. Apparently there's even a designer or three who makes her LIVING designing virtual gear. I'm just imagining trying to explain this to my 93-year-old grandmother, who used to work at a clothing manufacturer in Manhattan, which was about as far from "virtual" as you could get. I don't think she'd even believe me.

Say No to Cruggs

OH my GOD.

Take cover, fellow citizens! The locusts are coming, Vesuvius is on the verge, Florida is breaking off, and all the ozone is gone!

Because really, the only thing that the new Crocs "Mammoth" can signify is the END OF THE WORLD.

Why else would the gods allow the monstrous combination of the two worst shoe trends known to (wo)man? Whoever dreamed up the spawn of heinous molded plastic gardening clogs/clown shoes (Crocs) with possibly-more-heinous giant furry dinosaur boots (Uggs) clearly was planning my demise. Mental demise, at least. This violates all rules and makes me question the American public even more than its widespread support of Fall Out Boy.

Question, though: who's going to buy these things? The biggest fans of Uggs are dippy girls in denim miniskirts, who would never be seen wearing Crocs. The biggest Croc wearers are hippie-wannabes who probably consider Uggs too popular and too made-of-animals (though their moms back in Minnesota may own some for the wintertime). Wait--I know! The guys in the entertainment industry who wear Uggs not with miniskirts (obviously) but to show how laid-back they are whilst chilling in their beachfront pads wearing Seven jeans. They probably need something to wear when Uggs just won't do, but they still need to project that all-important blase real-dude vibe. Cruggs to the rescue?

No. No. They're just too bad. I can't deal. Time to go huddle under a desk and wait for the apocolypse.

> r r < (with thanks to TheTopCoat for the heads-up.)

Swede Chic on ShareMyLook

THIS GIRL IS SO COOL.



I stumbled on a photosharing website called ShareYourLook, which is a sort of predecessor to the kind of site I'm working on creating...anyway, my favorite posts so far are from the above-pictured girl in Sweden. I'm part Swedish and have a raging crush on the entire country (its fashion and architectural designs, its bands, its universal health care...), so our Miss "Beautifulones" here adds yet more fuel to my Svenska-ogling fire. Swedes are so cool. I've been to Stockholm once, and everyone there was light years ahead of hipsters & co. in the States. They're not all blonde, but mostly, and all have ridiculous bone structure and super cool Lee jeans (back then anyway, before they were here much), and impeccable style and black bicycles and long legs. I can tell this girl is tall like me, which makes me feel like when I someday move to Sweden and have a perfect life, I will fit in with the hordes, and all the other Swedish girls and I will live in overly-long-limbed glory.
Gosh, just look at her awesome clothes. They're not even from crazy designer stores. Just normal stores you can go to when you live in the best country ever, Sweden.


OMG, I totally own this. Same H&M suspender skirt and everything (PS--So does .:tt:.). If I go to Sweden, I can wear it and this girl and I will be BEST FRIENDS. Since obviously when I stalk her and tell her I found her on the internet and have the same outfit so I know we're destined to be together, she will totally see my point.


> r r <

Short-Shorts: An Unsightly Sighting

The other night I went to Spaceland for a friend's band's show. Now, while Spaceland is pretty cool, it's cool because the bands playing there are cool rather than popular. There's a difference. Somehow, though, this friend's band turned out to be wildly popular, resulting in the longest (a.k.a. first) line I've ever seen outside Spaceland. While standing in said line, I--naturally--whiled away the minutes checking out people's outfits. This was pretty entertaining, since the crowd was very clearly not made up of regulars. Normally a bastion of hipster chic, that night the sidewalk was covered in people armed with their loudest, pseudo-punkest, Hollywood-y-est gear. Lots of spiky black hair, tats on girls, big intimidating shoes... you know. I managed to capture the best (worst) of them with my crappy cameraphone:



It's hard, with this grainy picture, to convey the utter horror of this poor misguided woman's getup. It's SO BAD. I noticed her because she was one of those girls who thinks that the more high-pitched your voice and the louder your laugh, the better chance you have with men. Her voice was very high and her laugh very loud. The second thing to sink in was that her legs were VERY long. Normally this is a desirable thing. But with this choice of mini-shorts and boots, one would need the shortest legs possible to make it look at all decent. On her, it was just cringe-inducing. I felt guilty for happening to see the very tippy-tops of her inner thighs,,,but I had no choice! Those are barely even shorts! If only you could have seen the endless gleam of her insane expanse of leg, unmissable against everyone else's clothed bodies (clothed in things that, despite silly punkishness etc., were at least suitable for late evening weather). And you know what? I take back that possibility of "looking decent" with shorter stems. No way could this very shiny, very tight shorts-&-camisole duo look decent, ever. It looks like what I wear to bed--but shinier and tighter.

What I really wonder, though, in addition to "What mind-altering drugs did she take before taking her little sister's pj's from the bin and calling it a day?", is: Were the guys at whom she was chirping actually excited by her shiny-mini-gear? Are my standards those of a certain social group, while this girl's are actually consistent with those of some Hollywood society? No, NO, I just refuse to believe that. Apart from social standards, though, has this chick caught onto some key to male desire here? Are there certain guys who see her and rejoice, rather than recoil?

God help them.

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International Dress-Up Day!

FYI: International Dress-Up Day is this Saturday, August 18.

The lovely Australian fashion/life/fun blogger Gala Darling invented I.D.U.D., which she defines as

...an excuse to get dressed up in an excessively-frivolous manner. A theme is selected (by popular vote or by a guest), a date is designated, & the faithful begin to plot their outfits. As far as iCiNG goes, the most exciting time is in the few days after i.D.U.D. happens, when everyone sends in their photographs from the day.

The theme for this Saturday's is still undecided, but I think it's more the thought that counts. Maybe it's the day for me to finally unleash the floor-length prom dress that's been wrapped in my closet since high school. Of course, with a floor-length blonde wig, since my childhood dream was to be a princess (which obviously entails floor-length blonde hair). Oh wait, Saturday is the day I was thinking of hitting Sunset Junction, where my dearest dear friends The Pity Party and Autolux are playing alongside swoony Blonde Redhead. Well...perhaps my prom dress dress will contrast nicely with the hordes of skinny-jeaned waifs descending on Sunset. What will YOU be wearing? The pressure's on.

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The Style Network: RR Gets Cable

I've always been rather proud of my resistance to TV. I never had cable as a kid, and am generally out of the loop when anyone makes references to shows past or present. Sure, I love Project Runway, Top Chef, all heinous MTV dating shows, Weeds, and, um, Pimp My Ride. But I only watch them by chance at other people's houses, and have never been able to imagine having the free time to even enjoy cable TV, were I to have it at home. That is, until this weekend. We just got some fabulous new neighbors who offered to split cable service with us, and since then I've spent at least 50% of the past two days open-mouthed in front of the television. I was already totally thrilled at the prospect of Bravo any time, and I secretly love turning on VH1 Classic while I'm around the house ("Metal Mania," anyone?), but I didn't even think about the Style Network until today.


The Style Network is the source of "Extreme Makeover" and "Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane," but a less infamous show is what held me down to the sofa for an hour this evening:"How Do I Look?" It's basically an un-extreme makeover show, rather like "What Not To Wear," in which clueless fashion victims get clued in by the fiercely stylish, yet very sweet, host (a 30ish lady of indeterminate British origin who has the lone first name Finola. Oh wait--Google informs me that she's been on General Hospital and All My Children. See, I told you I haven't been a big TV girl...). Its tagline is "Because naked is not an option," and it claims to take those in "style denial" and let two close friends and one professional stylist fix them up so passersby no longer gape in horror. For instance: tonight's episode featured a mother-daughter pair, both of whom had severe issues involving multi-colored muu-muus. They both considered bright colors the only way to express their "colorful personalities," the mom wore only Birkenstocks (she was horrified when the judges threw out her "dress Birks"), and the daughter was a 25-year-old mother of two who looked like an overgrown dorky middle-schooler who just got her braces off.


What drew me in was the premise--hello, makeovers, shopping, whoopee--but what ended up fascinating me was how deeply intertwined these women's fashion attitudes were with their feelings about themselves. Eventually, the mom ended up revealing that she never felt pretty, and wearing outrageous anti-fashion outfits was a way to hide. We began to see that thhe daughter was still following her mother's dress code because she was terrified of change, and that she had never devoted enough time to herself to develop her own identity nor a resulting style. It was really amazing to see how very closely their ways of dressing were connected to these feelings; in a way, though they appeared and felt clueless about style, to me it seemed that their isolating choices were, in fact, quite informed by mainstream fashion. I.e., in their decisions to wear the unremarkable or downright off-putting, they were rejecting what they were aware was more "normal" (and what would be, surely, much easier to find in stores than their giant smock numbers.).

It was nice to see the show letting women choose which new looks were most appealing to them, and letting the lightbulb go on as to how the new clothes projected their image. Finola says on the site, "The most satisfying thing about what I do is what I call 'when the penny drops.' It's when a woman suddenly sees herself in a way she's never thought of before, and she gets it. She's like, 'Of course this is what I'm supposed to look like.' I love that moment....And on my show, when it clicks for women--how they look and how it registers with other people and themselves--that's exciting. It's not that clothes make the man, but they can help a person understand who they are." I don't know about that, but one of my pet topics is the connection between one's mental image of oneself and how clothes are used to project that...and that's exactly what I got to revel in from 7-8 P.M.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear "The Fabulous Life Of..." calling my name. I do so love that narrator's insane, insane voiceovers.

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The RR Report: Magic Mountain

*NOTE: I have been made aware that I made the egregious mistake of saying Valencia was in Orange County. Even I know that's not true...sorry, Valencia.

Runway Shows, Valencia-Style

When I told .:tt:. that I had a date to go to Magic Mountain, her first reaction was, "Mullets." Mullets? Yes, she said: when she'd gone a year or two back, she been surrounded--nay, swamped--by guys wearing non-ironic mullets. Needless to say, this made me totally freaking PSYCHEDDDD for Magic Mountain (in addition to the totally bitchin' coasters--"X" truly does enter a fourth dimension, for reals).

However, when we got there, I was saddened to see not a trace of mulletude. Not one. Instead, we were mostly sharing queue territory with bands of high-schoolers. Since I rarely see high school kids in my daily rounds, never mind Valencia-area high school kids, this was quite the anthropological experience for me. My coaster companion probably thought I was purposely ignoring him, when really my glazed eyes were just glued to all the gangly girls in tiny shorts and unfortunate bra choices. But it was he who asked me, "What's Hollister?" Oh, I told him, a small Abercrombie spinoff brand.* "But there are way more people in Hollister shirts than Abercrombie," he pointed out...and ye gods, he was right. Trolling around L.A., I NEVER see anyone wearing Hollister, but in Magic Mountain land, at least one out of four people between 14 and 24 was wearing a big ole HOLLISTER label across their chest. The longer we looked, the more Hollister we saw. I was really unnerved: could it be that I was that unaware of a huge trend? That my bubble of a world was that bubblicious? Frightening.
*[Note: apparently, Hollister is owned by Abercrombie, but their clothes are cheaper. Thanks, Sherrie Just, Boys' Sports Editor of the Viewmont High newspaper!]

In addition to scary numbers of logo tees, we saw an astonishing number of PLAID SHORTS. Now, I remember in high school, when Walter Neel wore a pair of plaid shorts along with his pink Ralph Lauren polo shirt as a total-overkill-prep joke. I mean, he really did wear them, but it was understood that they were funny. The thing is, I don't think all the boys and girls/men and women at Magic Mountain were displaying their finely tuned senses of irony. There were more pairs of plaid Bermudas, plaid 5-pocket shorts and unapologetic plaid booty shorts than there are senses of irony in the average population, so I have to conclude that the slick-prepster look has now been officially co-opted by Southern California as a whole. This contrasts amusingly with the very popular push-up-bra-and-too-small-shirt look.

I'm suddenly having flashes of inspiration re: possible conspiracy between Hollister and Magic Mountain. Conspiracy in that it was unbeknownst to us. Conspiracy being something involving Magic Mountain discounts upon purchases of items (esp. plaid shorts and logo tees) from Hollister. In Psych 101, I was taught that "correlation does not imply causation," but in this case, I am totally implying a causation-type situation. Note: SOMETHING TO LOOK INTO.

So, all in all, it was an educational day out in the wilds of Valencia. Not only did I fly through the air and scream a lot, but I also learned that what I would have considered a fashion anomaly--plaid butt and Hollister ta-tas--can be the norm, making me the anomaly. DEEP.

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