Things re: Some People Who Are On TV

I should apologize. I realize that I've been slacking on the celeb reporting quite gravely. I think I was concerned that I'd look a) like a namedropper and b) sort of pathetic. As if I'd been totally suckered into the media hype surrounding people just like you and me, who happen to be featured on the big or small screen(s). ME, care about Hollywood hype? NEVER! Errr...as if. I read US Weekly in the checkout line, I IM my friends when Kirsten Dunst browses in my store, and I even switched around my schedule so I could be in Nick-from-Project-Runway's fashion sketching class. So as an apology, I give to you a star-focused, name-dripping post.

For my last sketching class, I had to choose a famous person and create an 8-piece wardrobe for them, then sketch each piece and present the line with inspiration boards and everything. I chose Padma Lakshmi, the smokin'-hot-but-perpetually-heinously-dressed host of Top Chef (one time she was an American Apparel ad, with wifebeater and teensy shorts--as an outfit in which to judge!--and last night she had on some elaborate lace kaftan dress. WTF, Bravo?), and I designed a line of British-schoolteacher-tweed-chic stuff to classy her right up (tight jacket, high-waist skirt, high-neck blouse, cashmere sweaterdress...& some sexay satin shorts).
When I got up to present in class (with MTV cameras rolling, thanks to the presence of good ole LC), I thought I'd done okay until Nick critiqued me. "Don't reveal that you don't know what 'covered buttons' are called." Whoops. "Don't mention the Dita von Teese shoot in Vogue if you don't have it with you." Whoops. "I could barely concentrate on your second sheet there..."--what? please, not more mistakes--"...because I was too distracted by how cute your outfit is." What? No way. NO WAY. I love him and he loves my outfit. Close enough. Thank you, Cynthia Vincent (for my skirt, above, also basis for Padma collection) and H&M (for my checked military-pocket blouse. Great name-dropping there huh.). Then LC got up to present the collection she'd done for Sienna Miller. Cameras were going crazy, getting each angle of her frayed hair and rather sloppy illustrations. The collection, well, was not good. Sorry. The unifying element was little rosettes (or fleurchons)...anyone who saw Project Runway last season knows what a terrible idea that is. Nick even said, "Did you use Angela as your inspiration?" Ahaha.
Finally, after a series of great and not-so-great presentations (condolences to the girl who created a line for Kimora Lee Simmons and priced a coat, trimmed in mink and diamantes, at $12 wholesale), we all lined up to get our final grades and leave. I was last, and while I was muttering something embarassedly about how much fun I'd had in his class (and feeling sad that I'd probably never chat with him again, because I do really like him a lot), Nick wouldn't stop staring at me. I'm thinking, oh god, I've got rubber cement on my blouse (from gluing pictures) or something, when he looks back up and asks me if I'd "consider" being a fit model for him. He hurried to assure me that I'd get trade (free clothes) and pay--as if I'd need convincing. Eff yes! If it comes through, I'll like totally blog all about it. SWEET.

That night, at a going-away party for a friend, first I found out that Lindsay Lohan actually admitted in private that she'd had implants (I KNOW I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER. I stuck up for that girl's ta-tas for months. and now look. the truth is dead in the modern world, I tell you.), and then I found out that my friend had been tapped to be on The Hills with LC. She'd actually been old friends with her from before high school, and the MTV folk wanted her to be the co-star. They'd pay her full tuition and more in return. But oh, my, god--not nearly as cool as you'd think even if you'd think it was really, really uncool. I knew MTV was bad behind the scenes, and that reality shows are staged, but jesus h: MTV wanted my friend to change her major to fashion design so that she'd be in all the classes with LC; to dump her boyfriend, so that she could be "on the prowl" and compete over boys; to have a total punk-rock-grrl image (hi hot topic), rather than her normal more high-end style, and have to acquire a social circle to match; and to not be friends with LC anymore, but instead be her arch rival. So basically MTV wanted her soul in exchange for a few Ks. I remember now sitting at a bar a year ago with a guy who was describing his past weekend, which had been the worst weekend of his life thanks to MTV. He was on a dating show (the ex-factor or something) and they literally locked all the contestants into small rooms in a house and wouldn't let them out and forced them to comply with their assigned roles and scripts. This is scandal fodder, I say. Anyone want to sell the story to US Weekly? We can throw a party with the proceeds.

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