13 February 2007

Sweet Nothings: Obligatory V-Day Post

Valentine's Day may be a load of rubbish pressed upon us by greeting-card companies exploiting the legend of what was really just a crotchety old saint, but here it still is, almost upon us. Personally, I'm just looking forward to the day after (when all the heart-shaped chocolates go on major sale)--but I've assembled a little fantasy-land timeline of how Valentine's Day should be best exploited, in turn, by us:

Noon: Awake. Open your long-lashed doe eyes to the sight of breakfast in bed. He doesn't even need to know no cookin' skillz if he grabs TJ's new frozen french toast. Believe me: yum.

1:00: Open valentines (I sent Curious George ones to my nearest & dearest. Elementary school ruled.). Also open gift of new skivvies (simply the best. No contest.).

1:10 - 7:00: Lounge around in said skivvies, read pink books (e.g. Valley of the Dolls), play on the internet, listen to new records by The Blow (makeout break!) and The Pity Party (dance break!).

7:00: Even hardcore loungers need to eat. Make yourselves some heart-shaped brownie sandwiches--chocolate for you, spinach and cheese for him (seriously--my aunt's going to send me her recipe). Play games involving whipped cream (or spray cheese to go with his). No, don't, actually. That's just gross.

9:00: Spritz yourself with Demeter's Sugar Cookie eau de toilette for dessert (unless you're like me and would thus risk eating your arm because it smells so amazing. Try the Gin and Tonic scent instead.). Venture out of doors and go find yourselves some free fruity drinks.

> r r <

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