More Hatin' On Crocs

A website called "Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion" has this as its #1 tip:

Crocs look like shit and they make your feet smell.

When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship. They come in every color imaginable yet look bad with every other article of clothing ever created. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism.

To their credit though, Crocs serve as an excellent idiot barometer; you can tell a lot about people wearing them. For example, Amazon.com suggest products that other customers have purchased based on the item you're shopping for. Here are the suggestions for Crocs:

See? People who wear Crocs also buy Truck Balls. And--far FAR worse--listen to "Hey There Delilah," and even pay money for the single. Horrifying. Amazing. I love the guy who wrote this very necessary hard-truth masterpiece. And as for knowing dick about fashion, the above clearly proves he's on his way to a career on the Style Network.

I have some more Cros hatin' to do, but it may have to wait for a bit--I have cookies to bake. After all, I need all the help I can get convincing Santa to drop off Prada heels even though our fireplace is faux and there isn't even a chimney.

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Plaid Fabulous

I don't normally post about things as pure objects of my admiration, unadorned by sarcasm and mocking. This season, however, I've been so very captivated by PLAID that I am compelled to do a little homage. And after all, as I said at age 3, "People can do whatever they want."

Do you think plaid is stodgy? Preppy, boring and mainly associated with bagpipes? Think again.

Could Suzy Parker be any more fabulous? Or, really, could her coat be? I really want one just like that; sadly, I think a full-length plaid number would be a little out of place here in L.A. So instead I covet the cropped version at J.Crew:


Since even on sale it is beyond my wallet's reach, how about the decent mimic at Forever21?

Perhaps is is cheesy of me to fall for plaid at holiday-time, but that's probably the reason. Despite being a heathen half-Jew, I am totally susceptible to warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. I suddenly get domestic, plan all kinds of seasonal menus and events, and wish for matching scarf-&-mitten sets. And, apparently, plaid outerwear.

I am guilty of pining after things but never actually making up my mind to get them; I still don't have a plaid jacket, even though the one above is totally accessible. BUT I did take hours and hours basing my final project in computer fashion illustration on the fabulous plaid coat and related items. Perhaps now that I've spent at least 30 hours painstakingly digitizing plaid patterns and sketching clothes, I don't actually need the item itself. That is one problem with fashion: you immerse yourself so thoroughly that you end up sick to death of everything you once thought was lovely!

But I'm still pining a bit...and hey, Christmas is still to come. I hope Santa has us on his blogroll.

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Oh Dear, Again.

Dear Ladies,

Let Alicia Keys teach us all a valuable lesson:

Never, never, never, never, never wear drapy jersey tucked around your nether regions. It is even worse than what I had thought was the worst offender: satin stretched horizontally across the abdomen.

But mercy me, I was wrong. Thank you, Alicia, for sacrificing all personal dignity to impart such a priceless message. This image, burned forever into our horrified retinas, will not be soon forgotten.

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Oh Dear.

I try to contradict people's impression that fashion students are airheads as much as I can, but what I witnessed today can only serve to further that stereotype. There's only so much I can stand up for my peers before breaking down in awestruck disbelief at what comes out of the mouths of people who appear perfectly capable....

So I was in the textile library, snipping some lengths of ribbon to tie together my Fit Analysis terminology notebook (very cool, no?), when a girl walked up to the woman staffing the help desk. At first, when I heard her ask, "What kind of fiber is leather?", I thought I'd misheard. Obviously, leather is not made of any sort of fiber; it is leather. But no. That really was her question. The woman at the desk gave her a long, scornful eyebrow-raise and said slowly, "Well, leather is made generally from a cow. Occasionally, a goat or sheep."

The girl took this in.

"So, like, it's a natural fiber?"

Dear god.

NOT A FIBER

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The Latest on Chanel Tattoo Girl

Remember that girl I have class with who has a Chanel logo tattoo behind her ear, just like in the Chanel glasses ad from spring '07? Right, her. Well, finally the other day I maneuvered my way into finding out her reasoning behind the tattoo. And folks, I was shocked. I'd gone along assuming that my classmate had swiped her tattoo from the pictures in an attempt to join their tribe of converts (chief member: Mischa Barton). But when I oh-so-casually asked, "When did you get your tattoo?", she answered..."ABOUT A YEAR AGO." Whoa. This means that she was getting inked when those ads were just a kernel of an idea in a branding expert's brain over at Lagerfeld Central. Not only that, when I said how it was cool that it was the same as in print (oh, I lie), she didn't know what I was talking about. Nope--this girl, who's decided that Chanel is so "her" that she wears its logo 24/7, apparently doesn't even read the fancy fashion magazines where her fave brand, and its advertisements, are featured.

WEIRD.

Here, for incredulity's sake, is another Chanel-phile with the same idea:

She's a RankMyTattoo.com user named AmandaxChanel, and her caption is: "I got this tattoo because Chanel is what inspired me to be a fashion designer. I know its dumb but its what I am passionate about."

STILL WEIRD.

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