5C%'s '08 Resolutions
I'm sure you all have your own New Year's resolutions. Apparently the most common ones involve food and not eating it; money and not spending it; and time and not wasting it. However, clearly these are neglecting a vital element of our lives: UM HELLO FASHION ETC?!?
So RR has taken it upon herself to supply you with a handy printable list of Fashion & Lifestyle Resolutions (inspired, naturally, by her SoCal surroundings):
1. I will not wear Uggs/Cruggs/related plastic or fur shoes.
2. I will not bleach my hair to try to look younger.
3. I will not wear skinny jeans if I am a curvy lady. They may be hip, but overemphasized hips are not hip. Capiche?
4. I will not discuss my latest name-brand purchases loudly. This is totally lame. No one is impressed. It just makes you look like a sad attention whore.
5. I will not use the term "skinny bitch," since it just pins the sayer as being jealous and mean.
6. I will remember that mascara is meant to enhance my eyelashes, not weigh them down and make them look like tarantula legs.
7. I will remember that food is delicious, and that living on Diet Coke and Gummi Bears is not something to do, never mind to brag about.
8. I will also remember that trendy food is probably ridiculous, and that anything that seems remarkably expensive for its weight (see Gogi berries, Kombucha) is probably just meant for those who believe that throwing more money at one's health will compensate for drinking a lot.
9. I will not carry both a Sidekick and a cell phone. That is just dumb.
10. I will not wear leggings with shirts that are short enough to show my Lycra-clad butt, no matter how many Cardio Stripping classes I've taken.
11. I will try to remember a world before the Spears sisters.
12. I will not stop wearing/reading/listening to things that are genuinely cool just because they've gotten "too popular." I'm very guilty of this one, and it's just silly. Granted, the general public has historically terrible taste, but every once in awhile they get it right. Don't deprive yourself of The Beatles/chunky knit scarves/flat boots/Jonathan Safran Foer just because you can get them on Main St.
Happy 2008, kids!
> r r <
So RR has taken it upon herself to supply you with a handy printable list of Fashion & Lifestyle Resolutions (inspired, naturally, by her SoCal surroundings):
1. I will not wear Uggs/Cruggs/related plastic or fur shoes.
2. I will not bleach my hair to try to look younger.
3. I will not wear skinny jeans if I am a curvy lady. They may be hip, but overemphasized hips are not hip. Capiche?
4. I will not discuss my latest name-brand purchases loudly. This is totally lame. No one is impressed. It just makes you look like a sad attention whore.
5. I will not use the term "skinny bitch," since it just pins the sayer as being jealous and mean.
6. I will remember that mascara is meant to enhance my eyelashes, not weigh them down and make them look like tarantula legs.
7. I will remember that food is delicious, and that living on Diet Coke and Gummi Bears is not something to do, never mind to brag about.
8. I will also remember that trendy food is probably ridiculous, and that anything that seems remarkably expensive for its weight (see Gogi berries, Kombucha) is probably just meant for those who believe that throwing more money at one's health will compensate for drinking a lot.
9. I will not carry both a Sidekick and a cell phone. That is just dumb.
10. I will not wear leggings with shirts that are short enough to show my Lycra-clad butt, no matter how many Cardio Stripping classes I've taken.
11. I will try to remember a world before the Spears sisters.
12. I will not stop wearing/reading/listening to things that are genuinely cool just because they've gotten "too popular." I'm very guilty of this one, and it's just silly. Granted, the general public has historically terrible taste, but every once in awhile they get it right. Don't deprive yourself of The Beatles/chunky knit scarves/flat boots/Jonathan Safran Foer just because you can get them on Main St.
Happy 2008, kids!
> r r <
Labels: Fashion, Humor, Things We Hate
posted by 5%Celery at 6:55 PM
5 Comments:
I loved your list, its very funny but true. I agree with all of them especially the foodie ones. Happy new year to you too:-)
X M
you know I'm wearing uggs.
The family home is an important place to learn about proper nutrition and enough physical activity.
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