24 May 2007

It's That Time of the Month.

I once heard a fabulous minister tie in three moments in time that seemingly had nothing to do with one another; it was nothing short of brilliant. He took the record-breaking number of deaths in Iraq (that happened to fall that week), the murder-suicide at Virginia Tech, and the profound rains NYC saw one week before the sermon. Seemingly these were all random moments in time that had a profound negative effect--but had nothing to do with one another other than the fact that they were all big bummers (not a direct quote btw).

The sermon was not about the list of three, but about willfull ignorance. Those three things are happening because of actions (or in this case, inaction) that we have taken.

So let's see if you can find the pattern in these three things:

1) Rachael Ray's publicist wrote 5%Celery to ask us about advertising a new product.
2) Kombucha Wonder Drink wrote us and asked the same.
3) Someone googled "celery of an accountant" and found 5%Celery.

If this were a game show I would introduce the segment with, "things that are stupid."

Has Rachael Ray's publicist read these pages? The request is for a new phone service that she will offer--you can get Rachael Ray ring tone that says, "Yummo!" when your favorite aunt calls. Furthermore you can get recipes for "stoup" and "sammies" right on your phone! Imagine the possibilities! You'll be the hit of any store that you happen to be in at the moment Rachael rings in with "Yummo".

Kombucha Wonder Drink was the brand that we DIDN'T recommend. I actually have never had Kombucha Wonder Drink. Maybe I would like it--but the issue is that I've never even seen the product on the shelves. Maybe they should work on stocking it and not worry about marketing a product I can't seem to locate.

And what does "celery of an accountant mean"? It is a similar mistake my 5 year old, money driven, brother made.

"Seth, what is your cat's name?"

"Celery because I want to make a lot of money when I grow up..."

It took me a few moments to realize that he meant SALARY.

I'm curious, how much celery does an accountant make?


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